Saturday, October 30, 2010

My friend Aria is even more confused

I cannot believe anyone that has posted what you have posted in the past has the nerve to make a comment like this.  Anyone that has read any of your drivel knows you are all into your own elitist realm where you are queen for a day and everyone else who disagrees is a cross-dresser or worse which is most certainly putting people in bins for the sake of it you blithering twit. 
My comments are below interspersed in her comment.

Aria Blue says:
Totally agree with you three. (And hey Veronica, saw your blog and think its great to see other people out there in ‘the sphere’ hehe) The problem is that as (post) transsexual women our dialogue with each other has been controlled by outsiders (trans), whom I define by their own actions as outsiders contrary to the charges usually leveled against me. I’ve never really been interested in trying to sort people into bins for its own sake; as far as I’m concerned it’s how you live your life that tells everything you need to know about a person. That goes for just about anything too, not just this. And that’s why I point to Wallinder’s definition as a better dilineator than the trans* beauty contests that always erupt when people talk about this subject.

First off Aria it is not hehe it is heehee  and I am not sure if I should put that down to a Freudian slip, a typo, or a bad attempt at urban slang. Are you a woman as you say below or are you a transsexual woman as you say above.  Make the choice Aria. 

Outsiders are of course anyone that does not follow the Aria mantra of hate, homophobia, and Aria is a transsexual and you are not if you defy me.

I have been on your case for a while because I consider you dangerous and actually deviously evil but the comment "as far as I’m concerned it’s how you live your life that tells everything you need to know about a person." might require me to supply wading boots to everyone that comes to this blog to get by that total pile of shit from the single most judgmental person I have ever run into. You do not give a rats ass how people live their lives if they disagree with you even minimally. You and your pathetic sycophants will call them names that hurt to the bone because they fail to meet your pathetic and myopic view of what you define transsexual. You have absolutely no idea what Walinder actually said because your mind is so diseased from hate you can only comprehend things that agree with you.

If it grates on your last nerve to be known as anything other than a woman, that’s a pretty good sign of who you are. If you are happy being known as a non-woman, that’s a good indicator too. And of course, the real moment of personal truth is surgery. After surgery you’ll know for sure, if you had any remaining doubt. And it’s very easy to have doubt when society and the gay political construct have so many misguided and negative things to say about us. 

Are you physically a woman Aria? So if one is a hemophiliac and unable to have surgery then they cannot be transsexual or a woman in Aria's book? 

There will always be negative things said by fringe groups in society but in my entire life I have never met a gay man that that said anything bad about us and in fact many kept an eye on me in NYC to make sure I stayed on the right path to my surgery and encouraged me and always thought of me as a girl and not a gay boy. I realize there are exceptions but lord you make every exception sound like it is Patton leading his tanks into run you over.  It just isn't true. Gays and lesbians in general have enough issues of their own and could care less about us which might be your issue because you want them to care.

We internalize these things after awhile and can’t tell them from our own thoughts. That’s just how human socialization works. And when you are steeped in these things for so long, it’s not surprising that people would not have such a good grasp on what transsexualism is. 

 But of course we have our savior Aria here  to save us from these evil doers.  Aria knows what a transsexual is just ask her and she will tell you that you are not because she is Aria Queen of the Aria transsexuals or more than likely King, Read Benjamen's book and learn what a transsexual is you bonehead!!!

That’s why I write this blog, to remind people that transgender and transsexual are polar opposites and to let them know the old chestnuts from the trans* narratives aren’t the real story. It’s not about who played with dolls when you were little, or who “felt like a girl” at the youngest age or anything that turns it into a competition. These hierarchies are false and need to be replaced with the truth.

You write your blog because you are filled with hate and loathing for yourself and the mistakes you feel you have made in your life and you want to project that pain onto others because misery always enjoys company.

That is your problem Aria.  You are the one that thinks it is a competition. I don't know another old timer like me or early transitioner like me that thinks we are any better than anyone else. In point of fact most of us wish everyone could have been lucky and fate had been kind to all our sisters and brothers but we cannot nor could we control that.  We made the best of the hand life dealt us and from my time not a lot of kids like me made it out alive.

You are the one making it a competition Aria. There are no two transsexuals that are the same yet you want everyone to be like you. There are differences in transsexuals and therefore there are different categories not one category that is ruled over by the transsexual rules as defined by Aria. There are some common traits but the intensity and onset of those traits are different for every person afflicted with this horrible disease that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Hierarchies are false but the problem is you have this big issue with certain people that were born transsexual and you feel you need to get back at them somehow so that is why you do what you do.

I have followed your blog long before I got sickened by your continual hate mongering and I know you put down anyone that likes to be girly, pretty, wants to pass, and I could go on. Life is sometimes unfair and in the genetic world there are pretty girls, attractive girls, average girls, plain girls, and ugly girls but they are all still girls or women.  The same goes for women born transsexual. I wish I could write a check so everyone could be pretty but it isn't going to happen. You deal the hand you were dealt unless you can afford otherwise and if you are adult about it you make the best of it and don't try and drag others into your misery if it exists.

My guess about you is you consider yourself ugly, feel you don't pass, and have other negative thoughts and want to transfer your pain to others. Welcome to the world of transsexualism because in general most of us had low self esteem, low self confidence, and other issues involved with gender and somehow got though it.  You on the other hand want people to be as miserable as you feel which is quite sad.

There is a range of behavior in transsexual children that hasn’t been studied beyond noticing that it existed. I hope someday professionals will get past the gay politics and actually help those kids. They are not “transgender”.

There is no gay politics involved in helping kids today. Childrens Hospital Boston has a wonderful gender clinic for kids under the transgender banner and lord help me they differentiate between those that are not transsexual and those that are.  I realize that might burst your bubble of hate but it is true.

I actually agree that some kids are identified as transgendered by idiots when they are not and I did post an item with my concerns so  we agree on something possibly.

Benjamin studied a few kids before he wrote his book but was inundated with younger transsexuals in NYC after his book was published. I had multiple friends that had started with him as early as me and guess what they fit in either Type V or Type VI.

Does it give you pleasure feeling superior to everyone? I need to ask that question realizing I will never get an answer but I have never actually run into a megalomaniac.

Until next time Aria.



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Elizabeth said...


I just find it hard to ignore her kind of hate and I feel if I do it will only get worse.

Even a worthless bullet fired across a DMZ might make a bad guy duck.

The other reason is she is dead wrong on transsexualism and I like reminding her she is wrong. Maybe it is because it took me a long time to realize I had it easy compared to many others because this condition comes in many variations and intensities and being kind and caring and understanding to others makes me a better woman than screaming I am better than you and hurting others more than they already hurt.

The thought that she could hurt someone on the edge with her hate gives me the chills to be blunt and I will point out the errors in her beliefs because I can is my best answer.

I am sure some people find me obnoxious with her but it is hard for me to ignore hate.

By the way I have no idea what happened with your posts but they came over multiple times which causes duplicates to go to spam control for some weird reason. I check spam control and some posts have gone there and I mark them as not spam so they are posted. I do not moderate posts.

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Elizabeth said...


I don't hate anyone actually. I feel sorry for Aria Blue in many ways. I have seen hate that would curl your toes as my older brother Ray says. I have been on the end of that hate several times when I was young but managed to get through in one piece.

Maybe what resonates with me about Aria's anger and rage is I had doctors say things about me that she says about others today. Doctors that didn't want to admit I was just a terrified little girl and all i wanted was to be me. I know what those horrible words did to me because I did try and kill myself.

I just cannot believe she truly understands what that kind of hate and some of the horrible things she says could do to someone on the edge because anyone that has gone through this knows how fragile we all are until we either get help or are aware enough to make the decision to seek help and go forward.

In my childhood those doctors knew there was help for me and never told my mom about it because they saw me as Aria sees kids like me and tried to destroy me and nearly did. Maybe that is why it irritates me so much what she says. I know there are assholes on the other side as bad if not worse than her but why turn her hate on people just trying to be happy?

There is something more at work here and you probably have more insight into it than I do because you know her better.

By the way there is no Mr. Perfect although I will admit I fell in love with my second husband the first time I saw him and before we were introduced almost exactly like my mom did with my dad. Love is just weirdly wonderful and totally unpredictable and I think you grab it when you find it regardless of who he or she is.

Now I have a really pissed off Siberian Husky that needs to mark his territory so it is time for our late afternoon walk so he can upset the other boy dogs in the neighborhood.



Amanda said...


I wish Aria would allow more intelligent debate on her site but I see the nobility in what she is trying to do.

Posting anything about people as absolute fact rather than a person's own experiences is unsettling. A dialogue should be a means of finding and clarifying the truth rather than a means of demanding that one's reality define others.

As far as there not being a gender continuum, I see one every day. I have met women who talk like men and still identify as women while complaining bitterly about parts of their lives, etc. It happens and it exists. Of course, that doesn't mean that everyone in the gender community is where they would like to believe they are in the continuum.

I think that the people vocal and apparent in the communities are just those that have the most stress over their condition. I have seen a lot of people who want to transition and I don't think it is a good move. I have seen other people who are transgendered and are somewhere on a spectrum but would never identify that way. It is humiliating when people become transgender because it is fun because these are very hard and painful things to live with so I understand Aria to some degree but I don't think that group is the majority.

I feel that treatment should be based on the hypocratic oath and the idea of doing the least harm and the most good. If a person can live a healthier happier life as a female, then we should accept them as one whether they fit traditional definitions or not.

Perhaps unfortunately, if we want the psychological community to understand how to best deal with this condition, we can't hide that we are different.

When I first came out, I met no "ts" people who identified with me. Does that make me not ts? Given that at one job interview I failed to pass as my natal sex, probably not.

A problem I see is that making the definition of transsexuality too narrow destroys the lives of people who don't fit it. Harm reduction is the ony way.

We must realize people are different and deal with their conditions appropriately. If we say that only one group is the true group and that no one else should have the right to help themselves, sooner or later we find that we are the ones being denied treatment. We can understand that we are different and yet be willing to respect each other. We can also help make sure people are guided towards people like themselves and the help they really need to get through this. A lot of the groups don't mesh well and the wrong help can be worse than none.