Saturday, October 30, 2010

Why I am angry by Aria Blue. Give me a list please!!

Well I read it but I am still unsure why she is angry but there is one thing for sure it is OK to be angry if there is a good reason to be angry and you explain your position clearly and honestly with facts.

Why I am Angry by Aria Blue

In your fifth paragraph you state:

When I say I am angry about a specific list of things, that’s actually what I am angry about.  There is no secret agenda at work here, I am not going hormonal.  I really, truly am pissed right off at gay politics and the lies told about transsexualism by the GLB-Tg. 

Well, can I have a copy of that list? Maybe I am wrong and you are right. I am never afraid to admit  an error. Just a simple enumerated list will do. Post it on your own blog if it makes you feel safer. Have one of your friends post it over here as a comment. No generalities but specifics and reasons.  I am betting we have agree on more than we both realize. 

Everyone is invited to comment or even list complaints but note if they are yours or Aria's.

We agree on Sandeen as a starter.

My friend Aria is even more confused

I cannot believe anyone that has posted what you have posted in the past has the nerve to make a comment like this.  Anyone that has read any of your drivel knows you are all into your own elitist realm where you are queen for a day and everyone else who disagrees is a cross-dresser or worse which is most certainly putting people in bins for the sake of it you blithering twit. 
My comments are below interspersed in her comment.

Aria Blue says:
Totally agree with you three. (And hey Veronica, saw your blog and think its great to see other people out there in ‘the sphere’ hehe) The problem is that as (post) transsexual women our dialogue with each other has been controlled by outsiders (trans), whom I define by their own actions as outsiders contrary to the charges usually leveled against me. I’ve never really been interested in trying to sort people into bins for its own sake; as far as I’m concerned it’s how you live your life that tells everything you need to know about a person. That goes for just about anything too, not just this. And that’s why I point to Wallinder’s definition as a better dilineator than the trans* beauty contests that always erupt when people talk about this subject.

First off Aria it is not hehe it is heehee  and I am not sure if I should put that down to a Freudian slip, a typo, or a bad attempt at urban slang. Are you a woman as you say below or are you a transsexual woman as you say above.  Make the choice Aria. 

Outsiders are of course anyone that does not follow the Aria mantra of hate, homophobia, and Aria is a transsexual and you are not if you defy me.

I have been on your case for a while because I consider you dangerous and actually deviously evil but the comment "as far as I’m concerned it’s how you live your life that tells everything you need to know about a person." might require me to supply wading boots to everyone that comes to this blog to get by that total pile of shit from the single most judgmental person I have ever run into. You do not give a rats ass how people live their lives if they disagree with you even minimally. You and your pathetic sycophants will call them names that hurt to the bone because they fail to meet your pathetic and myopic view of what you define transsexual. You have absolutely no idea what Walinder actually said because your mind is so diseased from hate you can only comprehend things that agree with you.

If it grates on your last nerve to be known as anything other than a woman, that’s a pretty good sign of who you are. If you are happy being known as a non-woman, that’s a good indicator too. And of course, the real moment of personal truth is surgery. After surgery you’ll know for sure, if you had any remaining doubt. And it’s very easy to have doubt when society and the gay political construct have so many misguided and negative things to say about us. 

Are you physically a woman Aria? So if one is a hemophiliac and unable to have surgery then they cannot be transsexual or a woman in Aria's book? 

There will always be negative things said by fringe groups in society but in my entire life I have never met a gay man that that said anything bad about us and in fact many kept an eye on me in NYC to make sure I stayed on the right path to my surgery and encouraged me and always thought of me as a girl and not a gay boy. I realize there are exceptions but lord you make every exception sound like it is Patton leading his tanks into run you over.  It just isn't true. Gays and lesbians in general have enough issues of their own and could care less about us which might be your issue because you want them to care.

We internalize these things after awhile and can’t tell them from our own thoughts. That’s just how human socialization works. And when you are steeped in these things for so long, it’s not surprising that people would not have such a good grasp on what transsexualism is. 

 But of course we have our savior Aria here  to save us from these evil doers.  Aria knows what a transsexual is just ask her and she will tell you that you are not because she is Aria Queen of the Aria transsexuals or more than likely King, Read Benjamen's book and learn what a transsexual is you bonehead!!!

That’s why I write this blog, to remind people that transgender and transsexual are polar opposites and to let them know the old chestnuts from the trans* narratives aren’t the real story. It’s not about who played with dolls when you were little, or who “felt like a girl” at the youngest age or anything that turns it into a competition. These hierarchies are false and need to be replaced with the truth.

You write your blog because you are filled with hate and loathing for yourself and the mistakes you feel you have made in your life and you want to project that pain onto others because misery always enjoys company.

That is your problem Aria.  You are the one that thinks it is a competition. I don't know another old timer like me or early transitioner like me that thinks we are any better than anyone else. In point of fact most of us wish everyone could have been lucky and fate had been kind to all our sisters and brothers but we cannot nor could we control that.  We made the best of the hand life dealt us and from my time not a lot of kids like me made it out alive.

You are the one making it a competition Aria. There are no two transsexuals that are the same yet you want everyone to be like you. There are differences in transsexuals and therefore there are different categories not one category that is ruled over by the transsexual rules as defined by Aria. There are some common traits but the intensity and onset of those traits are different for every person afflicted with this horrible disease that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Hierarchies are false but the problem is you have this big issue with certain people that were born transsexual and you feel you need to get back at them somehow so that is why you do what you do.

I have followed your blog long before I got sickened by your continual hate mongering and I know you put down anyone that likes to be girly, pretty, wants to pass, and I could go on. Life is sometimes unfair and in the genetic world there are pretty girls, attractive girls, average girls, plain girls, and ugly girls but they are all still girls or women.  The same goes for women born transsexual. I wish I could write a check so everyone could be pretty but it isn't going to happen. You deal the hand you were dealt unless you can afford otherwise and if you are adult about it you make the best of it and don't try and drag others into your misery if it exists.

My guess about you is you consider yourself ugly, feel you don't pass, and have other negative thoughts and want to transfer your pain to others. Welcome to the world of transsexualism because in general most of us had low self esteem, low self confidence, and other issues involved with gender and somehow got though it.  You on the other hand want people to be as miserable as you feel which is quite sad.

There is a range of behavior in transsexual children that hasn’t been studied beyond noticing that it existed. I hope someday professionals will get past the gay politics and actually help those kids. They are not “transgender”.

There is no gay politics involved in helping kids today. Childrens Hospital Boston has a wonderful gender clinic for kids under the transgender banner and lord help me they differentiate between those that are not transsexual and those that are.  I realize that might burst your bubble of hate but it is true.

I actually agree that some kids are identified as transgendered by idiots when they are not and I did post an item with my concerns so  we agree on something possibly.

Benjamin studied a few kids before he wrote his book but was inundated with younger transsexuals in NYC after his book was published. I had multiple friends that had started with him as early as me and guess what they fit in either Type V or Type VI.

Does it give you pleasure feeling superior to everyone? I need to ask that question realizing I will never get an answer but I have never actually run into a megalomaniac.

Until next time Aria.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Misogyny or the most overused word in one individuals limited vocabulary

This was a comment Aria made on her blog post called The Argument of the Beard about  Dan Choi who is the US Army officer discharged under Don't ask, Don't tell.
My comments are below
Aria Blue says:
So Dan Choi calls another man a pussy who is going to bleed once a month, and gets a free pass from the Gay world. Choi’s response to the feeble criticism:

“Go ahead: call me a ‘misogynist.’ I’m still pro-choice, pro-ERA. …”

See, this is the problem; if you say you believe in the right things, you don’t actually have to believe them in today’s America. Lip service to high ideals is the same thing as actually doing them. You can do or say any crappy thing to anyone if you are on the “right” side of a set of social issues.

And it’s interesting to watch people over at Pam’s who initially took offense backpedal and start making nice again. Gay male misogyny is quickly excused as just being one of the boys, you know how they like to use women’s body parts and functions as insults. We shouldn’t be too hard on them because we just know their hearts are in the right place.

I wonder how long the lesbians in the GLBT are going to put up with that kind of garbage. Anything for the cause, eh? Makes you wonder how far you have to go before you don’t have common cause anymore.
And these are the spokespeople for transsexual women today? No thank you, Mr. Gay America. Your misogyny stinks, and your politics stink just as bad. The GayLBT should not have dominion over medical conditions like transsexualism.

The post itself is another rant about how everyone is out to get her and well you know the rest. I do wonder if she comes up with these rants when she is in front of the mirror taking pictures of herself but that is another interesting thought.

Aria has done what she always does which is twist a quote to fit her supposed feminist, true transsexual, and proud activist myopic views of the world. Here is Dan Choi's actual quote taken in context plus his response to the outrage by people like Aria.

At Netroots Nation '10, Dan gave Harry Reid his West Point ring; the Senate Majority Leader said he would return it when DADT was repealed. Guess he'll have that ring for a long while...
I was seated at the table with Dan at Netroots Nation when he prepared to go onstage and give Harry Reid his West Point ring. It was a dramatic moment that everyone knew would effectively lock the Senator into some kind of action, but Dan was nonplussed.
But to Choi's mind, Reid's gamble of attaching gay rights to a defense bill gave the Republicans a legitimate reason to feel shut out of the debate. So what happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas. "Harry Reid is a pussy," Choi angrily said after the failed vote in the Senate last month, vowing to speak out about the Democratic leader, "and he'll be bleeding once a month."

Very crude but IMHO an accurate description of Harry Reid but in no way transphobic or anti women because well guys unfortunately talk like that and guys are crude and men who have been in combat are exceedingly crude.  Any fellow soldier or man that that doesn't do his job, shows weakness, is a coward whether political or  in combat, or  keep a promise is a pussy.

Pussy is an English word meaning:

Originally Feminism referred to movements aimed at establishing and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women which as a woman in the workplace for 43+ years I have both fought for and set precedents for.  The problem is I do not want to emasculate men.

I love men as they are with all their normal foibles, insecurities, fears, wants, and desires. I particularly have enjoyed being an object of the sexual wants of men and am not ashamed to admit it. I wanted everything that went with being a girl including, menstruation, pregnancy, and in particular men. I wanted men to protect me and hold me and open doors for me and make love to me. If that bothers some of you then so be it.

The single most overused and misused word in the world of women is misogyny. Men do not hate women. Male rapists hate women. Men would like to control women because they want access to what we possess which shock of shocks is a "pussy" if they are heterosexual. 99% of men will do anything we want to gain access to that glorious area of our bodies so who has the power exactly?? As I told a boyfriend one time, "As long as batteries are legal I don't need you but you need me so be nice."

People like Aria throw the word misogyny around like pollen in the Spring winds. Aria might actually be a misandrist but I am not sure if it is theoretically possible to hate what you once were. I doubt one can find any post of hers without the use of the term misogyny in some way, shape, or form although I am probably exaggerating it seems that way.  She seems to believe by throwing it around it makes her a better woman or more representative of an actual feminist or maybe more truthfully it makes her feel more of a woman to sound like some feminist radical which she is not.

Because Choi is a gay man by definition he is not attracted to women but that does not make him a misogynist based on his comments and then to make the giant leap that he or people like him represent trans anything is beyond stupid. I could recommend that Aria read up on the Philosophy of Logic but why let truth or reason get in the way of dogma.


I cannot believe I have to write this post but I have been getting some comments from a Pagan Priestess, her friends, and a Buddhist Reiko Spiritual healer claiming I am intolerant towards religion. I am intolerant of organized religions of all shapes forms and dogmas but don't flatter yourself because bullshit however it is phrased is still the same regardless of the individual spouting the dogma of the religion they practice.

I do believe in god and I was raised Christian so I believe in Christ but I also believe in Abraham, Mohamed, and other defined sons of god because I am convinced  if indeed there is a hell the vast majority of the vapid airheads that preach the hate filled speech they define as religion are headed there on the express elevator down.

I respect everyone's right to their personal beliefs but if I make a sarcastic remark such as telling some twit that going through life fat, ugly, and a witch leaves room for improvement don't presume to think it was religious intolerance. because they are some important Priestess in some Pagan religion. It is Halloween and a witch is on a broom and flying away and they are ugly and if brain cells were operating one could see the humor but I guess not.

Because of a personal experience I believe there is a god and something after we die but that is my belief and only my brothers and I know what happened and if not for that event I would probably be an atheist after what was done to me by the church I grew up in. Faith lies in each of us not in some fool looking for money and power in the name of his/her particular god(s).

Don't get me wrong.  There are religious people I have met and respected and loved such as MLK but most are in it for themselves like my friend in New York that wants her large home declared a Pagan Church to avoid real Estate taxes. In my home town 20% of the prime property was owned by churches and tax free. In the center of town 50% of the prime real estate was owned by churches of different denominations which left the public to cover their tax burden. Most of it was used as commercial property and generated large income. Priests did need a private estate on the ocean to diddle boys even in the 50's. Thank god I was too girly for them.

Leave religion and faith healing and spiritual healing and all the other mumbo-jumbo off my blog. I will admit to enjoying an occasional visit to a good Black Southern Church because I have one near me that sure does know how to have a good time enjoying faith.  The rest are clueless.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

And another word from Aria or Second Edit

Second edit:
Golly gee I must have run over Elizabeth’s cat! Poor thing just can’t throw enough names at me. I guess we’re at the bottom of the barrel because we have the usual charges of racist, homophobe, yadda yadda. I have no idea who this person is, so it’s not personal. Lots of trans* people don’t like it when people call their dogma a bunch of garbage the way I do, so I’ll just assume that’s the problem.

I actually do not have a dogma but you do.  Just for your edification from Wikipedia.

Dogma is the established belief or doctrine held by a religion, ideology or any kind of organization: it is authoritative and not to be disputed, doubted, or diverged from. 

Now that fits your pathetic view of you and yours perfectly. 

I have never said you are a racist but you are homophobic which is sad because if you were actually the "primary" transsexual Person described and were a heterosexual male then you are actually or were a lesbian if you thought about girls because since we both agree this is a medical condition (transsexualism) then brain sex determines what is heterosexual and what is homosexual. Not that anyone should be ashamed of being gay or lesbian or bisexual but by your definition you were lesbian. Changing sex does not change sexual orientation nor brain sex.

Just thought I would bring that up to you. Personally I could care less but one should get the facts out there.

And in case anyone is still wondering about my supposed “censorship”, let me explain. Lots of people who are currently on the internet have a hard time discerning the real people from the fakes. There is the tendency to take people at face value until they give you a reason to think otherwise. Which is fine, of course, and that’s generally how I deal with people on the net. But I am also not going to put up with a bunch of crap from people who are just out to pester me. I’ve allowed long and extended attacks on me here on this blog before, you can find them in the comments on old posts if you look. This Anne sockpuppet, a single minded creation with one purpose ie to harass me, is one example of the kinds of things I used to put up with. I didn’t bother blocking that person until it became clear they were going to torture me until I closed my blog. I’m not going to let that happen. I won’t be bullied by a bunch of nutjob trannies.

Of course you censor everything. You are afraid to answer questions about your positions.  You are afraid to allow anyone to question your dogma. Determining who you allow posting privileges is of course based on whether you decide they are "fake" or "real" sort of like your belief you know who is "transsexual" and who isn't. It must be a powerful feeling to feel so omnipotent. Nobody is trying to bully anyone other than your trying to bully others to your point of view. 

You really do suffer from paranoid delusions of martyrdom.  I would recommend getting help but I distrust shrinks.

paranoid [ˈpærəˌnɔɪd]
1. (Psychiatry) of, characterized by, or resembling paranoia
2. (Psychiatry) Informal exhibiting undue suspicion, fear of persecution, etc.




a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

That fits you perfectly Aria.

It’s not hard for me to see who is real and who is fake.  I’ve been on the internet for a long time, since near the beginning.  I’ve seen all sorts of behavior and it generally follows a few basic patterns.  After having extended conversations with people, or watching a one-dimensional character pop up with an agenda, I don’t feel any special burden to let them have their say. Too often these attempts by ts women to protest the trans*/tg nonsense get derailed by a sort of “agent provocateur”. They show up knowing that a small group like we’ve had is looking for anyone to help out, strength in numbers and all that. They ingratiate themselves, get all cozy with people. Then they proceed to act like idiots and discredit everything you are trying to do. They make you into the very thing that the tg say you are. Racist, bigoted, homophobic, blah blah. This happened with Anne a couple others. The constant attacks forced me to turn on the setting that required login to post, but other than that and the short blacklist there is no a priori censorship.

login on WordPress requires that one belongs to WordPress and I have no interest in that.

It is easy for you to see who is real and who is fake in your mind. Those who agree with you and praise and wait for a pat on the head are "real" and those that question you are "fake".Life is really that simple in a cult isn't it?

So you were there when the internet started?  You must be ancient. 

People label themselves in the blog world by what they post. I think your posts categorize you as homophobic with a deep seated hatred of anyone that doesn't agree with you. I guess if you can live with yourself it works for you but that much hate does eat at your soul.

Other than blocking people’s attempts to nag and harass me, I’m not too much for “censorship”. I don’t block Sandeen or other people I’ve had words with. I don’t block anyone except the blatant sockpuppets. Some people have a hard time telling who is who, but I don’t. I have IP’s and a keen bullshit detector. I can spot a phony a mile away. So if you want to question my judgment as to who is a real person and who is a nutcase playing games, of course that is your right, your own judgment at work. But I resent the implication that I would do things like block users simply out of bad faith. I am not afraid of any tranny argument. To insinuate otherwise, and then block me from arguing on your blog is chickenshit. It’s such a misogynistic philosophy that its hard to hold my temper dealing with them, but I will if I have to for a short time.

I have questioned you and yes I am nagging you to respond because I believe everyone should be willing to defend things they say about others.

If you are not afraid of any "tranny" argument then why do you block people you consider "old timers" or those that ask you difficult questions about the validity of your beliefs like I have.?

You are absolutely NOT blocked on my blog and you are a LIAR for saying so. No person is blocked from posting.  I even changed the comment methodology so those on iPads and phones could comment in a separate comment dialog.

It is of course quite convenient that none of your sycophants have had trouble posting. For someone claiming to be internet knowledgeable you are dumber than the proverbial fence post.

It’s easy who to tell is ts and who is tg. The tg are the ones making all the arguments against there being such a thing as a real ts birth condition. End of story.

 I believe this is a birth condition and just to make it clear I was told this 50 years ago this December 27th by a shortish German accented man named Harry. It is the ultimate in hubris to think you know who is what based on your myopic view of the transsexual condition.  Because someone disagrees with you on even the silliest subject they are tg, cd, or worse.

It doesn’t matter how much you go over the old psych studies, they are never going to prove that tg is real. There is no saving grace in psychology for anything “between genders”. Elizabeth is simply wrong about these studies, they don’t support a “true tg” born identity. I would suggest that she find her reason for being in some other fashion than by tearing down the concept of a transsexual birth condition. You can’t kill that nagging voice inside by silencing me. It’s only going to get worse over time, and that’s why these kinds of people go so insane when someone like me puts their lifestyle to the question.

 Don't put words in my mouth.  You are the one that bases your very existence on the psych study of Person-Ovesey.  Would you like me to point you to your own comments. I believe there are two genders and that is male and female and we are born that way. I despise and distrust every Psychiatrist I have ever met except for Dr. Person and believe me I have more reason than almost anybody to distrust them.

Benjamin believed there were gray areas and a Type IV Transsexual might have some symptoms of a Type V and vice-versa but that Type VI were exceeding rare and unique. Benjamin also believed there was some possibility transvestism was a mild form of transsexualism but even in his book he said he was unsure if that was true.

Harry should have looked up an expert like you for clarification.

My reason for being? I was born a girl. I was always a girl. I always knew I was a girl. I had surgery to correct a birth defect and never looked back. I have never felt I was a transsexual woman like you have stated you are. I do not still consider myself transsexual like you obviously do.

Unlike you I have no nagging voice.  I am not threatened by anyone because I am a woman.  You are threatened by people you think may redefine the concepts of transsexualism, I disagree with that by the way, because you still believe you are transsexual which begs the question are you post-surgical?

TG is a belief system, and also sort of like a political party. Anyone can belong as long as you nod your head in agreement with the dogma. You don’t have to be born a certain way; it’s open to all who done the clothes of the opposite sex. But just as you can join it, you can just as easily leave it behind. There is no rule saying that once a tranny always a tranny.

 TG might be a belief system to some but so isn't your little cult. You are the one that has a dogma not me.

The past is the past, and if you decide that you want out of the ghetto, all you have to do is leave it behind. You will never find your core identity through identity politics. That poison simply gets in the way of the truth. The future is not written yet, and you can do whatever you want… nobody owns you, and you owe nothing to the tg “community”.

My core identity? I am a woman.  I left transsexual behind 4 decades ago unlike you. Actually I do not owe anything to anyone and that means the transgender or the transsexual "community". Unlike you I am a woman that was born transsexual but got rid of the issue a long time ago and doesn't have hangups about perceived threats from radical transgender or transsexual theory.  I am not the one consumed by the thought someone might steal your "womanhood" from you based on perceptions of others which really does beg the question what the heck are you?

I hate to clue you Aria but my future is not defined by anything transsexual or transgender. My future is mine and not yours. I do not believe anything anyone says unless I can find definitive proof otherwise.  I do my research and am not stuck with some pathetic dogma like you and other radical loons.  Unlike you i am free to make my own life decisions because I know who I am. Unfortunately you have never been able to get over being born transsexual and you seem to want to make anyone even remotely different than you and possibly not as miserable and lost as you just as miserable as you.  The quote "misery loves company" fits you to a tee.

If you think you are transsexual, then act like it. Get your surgery and get on with it. Don’t try to bend the world to your needs, you will only succeed in breaking yourself. You must conform to the world, it isn’t going to change to suit you.

Maybe you should take your own advice. You are the one that thinks like you are still transsexual.

In any case,  I am done with that little group.  There is no real argument there, they just want to be nasty.  And in any case, I am blocked from commenting there, lol.   So on to the next thing. 

You are absolutely NOT blocked from posting comments on my blog. You do know how to post comments don't you?? A separate page pops up and is used to post comments.  It is possible your main window is blocking it because it is behind that window. I am sure one of your sycophants can explain how it works. Make sure you pat them on the head.  Subjects should be treated kindly.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Answer these questions Aria's friends

These are basically my questions for Aria and her sycophants. Not one of them has answered any of these questions and per usual have tried to make me the problem by accusing me of "picking" on Aria which actually has some truth to it.  I am picking on her but not because I hate her but simply because if one posts something radical or controversial one should be willing to defend that position.

Unfortunately Aria is infallible according to her sycophants and nobody has even broached the subject.  In fact in Aria's only response she brought up her rant on Benjamin and Walinder and has continued to claim it is an attack on her which it actually is now because she simply refuses to be questioned about her belief system or her opinions which are the gospel to her followers.

The 5th question came about because of her latest post.

My wish is that all of you that read this blog would at least try and answer some or all of these questions. I will provide links below to all the relevant sites for research.

1. Do you support Aria's position the the Person-Ovesey study is the definitive study on transsexuals and accurately describes transsexualism or in her view what a "primary" really is which of course is her?

My problem with the study is I was a participant and it was flawed because they were inaccurate in claiming they talked with parents and Dr. Benjamin believed they were wrong because nothing is that black or white.

***added ofr clarity*** Aria believes the correction by others of what was defined priamary and secondary was a transgender plot to  hurt her.

2. Do you support Aria's position that Benjamin is the cause of the existence of the Transgender situation she sees as her enemy because he believed nothing is black-white in the transsexual condition and believed in gray areas or no two transsexuals are the same?

3. Do you support Aria's continual use of snippets from studies like Walinder that distort the actual conclusions of the study and are then proposed as conclusions to support her position?

4. Do you support Aria's inclusion of that sick bastard Canadian Air Force guy as a clear example why transsexuals need to avoid transvestism with the clear indication it is typical transvestite behavior?

And a new one.

5. Do you support Aria's claim that all people who identify as Transgender are therefore gay?

Comments on Person-Ovesey  
More comments on Person Ovesey

The Transsexual Phenomenon by Harry Benjamin

Jan Walinder study

Latest Aria rant

This is what Aria and her minions do if you question them

catkisser says:
I was unable to post a comment yesterday on “Elizabeth”‘s blog. Today I am attacked there as well.
I put the probability this one is a transvestite impostor around 95% at this point given what I have seen with the weazel wording pronouncements of what a “real” woman would or wouldn’t do and the transvestite habit of projecting the things they believe and/or do on those they oppose. Step away from the crossdresser Aria, this one seeks attention so don’t give. Non trans identified women don’t step out from long time stealth and start a blog with a transvestic title, impostors do that.

I pulled these comments from her blog.

catkisser aka radicalbitch my comment about women was I have never in my life ever heard another woman mention eating babies alive or cooking them so they were not eaten raw like you did.

This is typical of Aria and her sycophants like radicalbitch. They never discuss the issues or answer the questions asked they simply try and turn it on the questioner. They will then accuse you of being gay, a cross-dresser, or something else derogatory. So be it but that is who they are.

The thing I enjoy about clowns like you is you assume T stands for Transsexual or probably Transgender because you are obsessed with being transsexual. It does not actually but I didn't think "Notes from the Sea Side"  would mean much and "Notes from the Tee Side" would be weird because I live a place on the ocean and play a lot of golf. Would you say the same to your friend Anonymous T Girl?

As for radicalbitch my picture is of me at 25 and I am certainly older now but also certainly would be recognized if one met me. Looking at your site radicalbitch I would not be calling other people transvestites because in your case going through life fat, ugly, and a witch leaves room for life improvement and yes that was a sarcastic shot.

I have actually never been stealth.  I tried to live a private life because quite honestly my past was my past and I just wanted to be a normal woman.  I am retired and have some time between rounds of golf with my friends and I decided it was time to be heard after reading some of your hate speech and homophobia. I will be around and you will be questioned and I encourage everyone who reads my blog to continually question Aria Blue at this site. I am confident most people will find her and her minions very offensive, homophobic, and not relevant.

Aria just does not get it

The worst part about people like you Aria is the simple fact you do not realize if one lost soul has the misfortune to find your blog they might hurt themselves. I realize you will just say who cares if it is a TG supporter but a life is precious. Happiness is all most people want and the pathetic thing about you is unless they get it your way you don't want them to have it. You mistakenly believe you have the right to judge who is transsexual based on rules that of course make you top dog.

The last time I checked Aria you were first asked a question about your position on Person-Ovesey and those on this blog can view the post here on this blog. There was no attack on you just a simple statement of fact asking you to respond and back up your beliefs in an open dialog.

I called you a coward and a blowhard in a comment and you are because rather than openly discuss issues you hide behind moderation and post deletion for anyone that asks a tough question. All I have said is the same things you have said to many others and were too cowardly to allow them to respond.  You do what you always do which is play the poor me martyr card which has worn thin and if that fails you then resort to the I am so brave fighting these evil TG people.

Now there is a double standard and I never ran to anyone for help and have not ducked the issue like you have but then again I have no issue with open discussion.

You will have to tell me what a tranny flag is because I have never seen one and what is with the comment about being on the side of men mean? Lord, you really have a lot of hangups don't you? I really do like men though.  Is that a problem?

By the way if you consider nasty and evil what I have said to you then you should actually read some of the trashy and vile comments you have made to others before banning them so they could not defend themselves.  You allow Sandeen to post only because she is not exactly the brightest light in the room. I am beginning to think you aren't either.

As for "the existence of this fight" it is a fight that exists between the fringe groups on the radical TS side as in you and the radical TG side as in Sandeen and 98% of the people could care less because they realize you are a nobody as we all are to be blunt. Your only problem is you have delusions of persecution and believe everyone is out to get you when in point of fact NOBODY knows who you are and most who do dismiss you as a professional transsexual and really just some lonely person looking for attention with delusions of fighting the good fight because the TG world wants to wipe you out or is wipe out transsexuals or the meaning of transsexual which is not ever going to happen.

I asked you to defend a comment you made in a  post of yours and you have yet to defend it. You are a very good professional transsexual because politicians and men are the only ones that answer questions with a question and attempt to make the questioner the questioned.It is the preferred trick of Corporate America. Make the questioner the issue. Not going to work!

How is that fight with the TG world going Aria?  I keep reading on your blog how they are defeated and I assume you are taking credit for it. It must be immeasurably enjoyable in your psyche thinking you are the martyr but you need to be correct to be a martyr.  Just ann observation.

If you will back up your comments about Person-Ovesey, Benjamin, Walinder with facts I will gladly stop but until you do I think it will be interesting to keep your feet to the fire for a while not that you could defend indefensible positions other than to ignore the questions.

  • Aria Blue says:
    This isn’t a disagreement, this is people setting out to attack a particular person, and that person has responded. That case is now closed.
    I will not allow those rules for polite society to be used against me in these fights. We tried being nice like that, and what happened? People take advantage of that, thinking they will be able to play games and pretend they are kind and gentle while spewing that nastiest crap my way they can muster. It’s a standard TG tactic, and I’m done with it.
    I’m simply taking away their ability to play the double standard game. It’s like being punched in the face and having your assailant run to the cops crying to avoid what’s coming to them. You can’t get nasty and evil with people, as they have, and then run crying to Robert’s Rules of Order when people fight fire with fire.
    And here’s one for you; “supposedly grown women” don’t have to put up with this shit from men. Why do you suppose that is? I’m not going to take crap from a bunch of trannies. As far as I’m concerned, if you fly the Tranny flag, it doesn’t matter who you “really are”, ts or tg, you are on the side of men. Women can be misogynistic too, my opposition to the tranny garbage is not a judgment of my opponents sex or “gender”.
    Further, I am not to happy when people try to use the existence of this fight to raise themselves up above the rest of us who DO fight. Remember, this fight was started by the TG to wipe us all out, and it exists whether or not we want it to. We didn’t ask for this, they imposed it.
    I’d love for it to all go away but they won’t stop. They can’t stop because we still exist in the public mind, eclipsing their precious nonsense. Staying on the sidelines and tut tutting the people who are pushing back against the dogma is not helpful or productive. That sort of finger wagging just encourages the TG and will cause this fight to drag on longer. Aid and comfort.
  • lisalee18wheeler says:
    I wonder why you’re only chastising Aria and not a single word over at the other blog. They were the ones that started this, not Aria. Makes me wonder…
  • catkisser says:
    Setting the record straight, those transgenders do not eat babies raw, they are civilized to the extent they fry them first in a nice butter batter.
    Further, I am not a minion. First there was Margret O’Hartigan, then me….Aria came afterwards. Finally, I am a proper lady to the extent that I try to remember to extend my pinkie finger when pulling the trigger on a 12 gauge double barreled shotgun.
deena17 says:
Aria I just read your second edit. I am confused. You say you are blocked from that site but Elizabeth says she blocks no one. I guess it really doesn’t matter.

Nice comment catkisser.  I have a step-daughter from my first marriage that I raised from a baby and saying something like that is just so crude it is sickening.  Men make bad jokes like that because women would die first before allowing a child to be harmed or so even talked about like that.

Very right-wing of you to bring guns into the discussion.  Is that a threat of some kind??

The following definitions fit you to perfection.
1. a servile follower or subordinate of a person in power.
2. a favored or highly regarded person.
3. a minor official.


a brownnoser. someone who will seek to please a person of authority in order to obtain some grace, usually the grace is something as simple as a pat on the bottom, but can vary greatly.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

More from Aria Blue

 I basically knew this would happen but she has posted a response on her blog Aria Blue which is fine but again she denies free access for response and has a rather vulgar refrain for Anne who I only know as a poster on here and I censor nobody as long as the language is reasonable.

From Aria's blog. I guess I am a troll now.

So I see this “challenge” from some trolls over at Notes from the T Side, and decided to post something there just because one of my favorite jerks, Anne, is still running around acting like the Queen of Sheba. But it’s also a good chance to dispel some of the nonsense that people have been spreading.After predictions that I wouldn’t show up, and being called an “intellectual coward” for banning trolls on my blog by Elizabeth, I find I can no longer post over at the T Side, yo. Maybe it’s my browser or something. Anyway, I’ll post a few things here and if people behave themselves I may even allow some of their comments through. Because I’m cool like that.

Everyone can post on my blog so stop your misinformation. By behave yourself I am sure you mean adhere to the Aria Blue party line. I actually appreciate you showing up Aria since I value all opinions and welcome your comments and criticisms. Am I a troll because I disagree with you or was that aimed at others? I will repeat what I said before.  You are an intellectual coward but I may want to remove the intellectual preface because that you are not. You cannot even read studies and accurately summarize the results without interjecting your own biased opinions and then attempt to skew the actual meaning of the study. You are so pathetic you are capable of reading the Declaration of Independence and because the second paragraph starts with "We hold these truths to be self-evident,  that all men are created equal...  is a misogynist rant by men aimed at minimizing women.

Ok next, I don’t dismiss Benjamin in favor of Person and Ovesey. Once again, the point I am making is that many different people came to similar conclusions about the transsexual birth condition long before we had the harder science to back it up. Person and Ovesey saw that actual transsexuals differed from the gay and transvestic applicants in some specific ways. Benjamin did too, mentioning that 40% of his patients exhibited some physical symptoms of “hypogonadism”, in addition to the things that Person and Ovesey noticed. Namely, the singular fixation of the transsexual on the corrective surgery and physical therapeutics to repair the perceived deformity to the body. The lack of trepidation, never looking back, and the all-consuming desire for “conversion therapy”. Jan Wallinder noticed it too and came up with probably the best description of the condition that an outsider ever had (thanks for the info Jo!):

First point is as I mentioned before Person and Ovesey were Psychiatrists and their aim was to study the relationship between homosexuality and transsexualism. The study was focused and with 20 patients insufficient to draw accurate conclusions and flawed because they flat out lied about contacting relatives and family members of the subjects.  I was one of those subjects whose mother would have gladly talked with Dr. Person but was never contacted but was included in the study.

Of the ten non-asexual patients 5 were classified as gay and the other were transsexual but because they were attracted to men were listed as "gay transsexual" with zero clarification about whether they actually engaged in sexual activity. Even worse than that is you now misrepresent what the results of the Jan Walinder study were. If you bothered to read the entire document you would find that the vast majority of the transsexuals he studied were attracted to men if MTF and therefore would be classified as "gay" by Person-Ovesey because it was their desired sex partner.

The only reason you support Person-Ovesey is because they categorized Primary as something you felt you fit into which fit your elitist opinion of yourself. The term Primary in the study was intended to represent the most common and largest occurring subset of the transsexual condition which was Benjamin Type V which if you are still transsexual is your probable category. Like most bad researchers Person-Ovesey were out to prove their beliefs about feminine transsexuals and feminine boys that were not transsexual and quite honestly they failed miserably and received scathing reviews by others in the field long before the term transgender covered transsexuals.

Walinder also believed the lines were blurred between transsexuals. The following you posted is what he defined as the major concepts.

1. A sense of belonging to the opposite sex, of having been born into the wrong sex, of being one of nature’s extant errors.
2. A sense of estrangement with ones own body; all indications of sex differentiation are considered afflictions and repugnant.
3. A strong desire to resemble physically the opposite sex via therapy including surgery.
4. A desire to be accepted by the community as belonging to the opposite sex.
These were the primary but not the only.

Just after this your animosity and pure stupidity and prejudice against Benjamin comes right to the forefront. Any person that believes the trite garbage expressed in the paragraph below is probably a member of your little cult.  I thought you didn't dismiss Benjamin? Only an idiot would make a statement like that.

The chief fault of Benjamin’s musings was that he was enamored of the concept of sliding scales, as was fashionable at the time. The underlying concept is sound, that in nature we observe variations in human development. But as science has advanced and we now see the stark dichotomies between men and women in certain areas, the scale concept isn’t so apt with respect to specific situations. In other words, its not an all-encompassing concept that can be applied like an algorithm to any situation; context matters. Benjamin tried to fit all the data into one convenient rubric, producing the unfortunate relationship between transvestites and transsexuals that persists to this day. While Benjamin personally was kind to many, his theoretical construct has been the source of all the tranny histrionics ever since. It’s so easy to say you are a type 4 moving on up to type 5. And that, combined with the preaching by one Arnold Lowman, has produced the transgender phenomenon.

So Harry Benjamin is the reason we have the transgender issues of the day which infringe on your  rights as a transsexual?  This does beg the question of are you a woman or are you still transsexual. Based on your vehement complaints I guess you must still be transsexual. That single paragraph should let everyone know you are just a pathetic loon. If Benjamin had tried to fit all the data into a convenient rubric it would have been more concise and definitive but because he was a brilliant researcher along with physician he let the data produce the results unlike yourself who would prefer to fit the result to prove your own myopic view of the world regardless of what the data proves.  I would suggest that anyone that reads this post please read what Walinder actually said and what his conclusions actually were here.(Walinder link)

What level of expertise allows you to make this level of argument? Even Walinder, which you obviously did not read, discusses the simple fact that in low intensity asexual transsexuals like you claim to have been that the lines blurred and some didn't realize they were transsexual until later although most felt dysphoric early but the level of discomfort varied.

Benjamin recognized that there was intensity levels in transsexuals that differentiated between categories. Benjamin found cases where Type IV might morph or move into the bottom half of Type V but the one thing he was certain of was Type VI with total psycho-sexual inversion or as you prefer to call them the "gay transsexual" were the most intense and you either were or were not Type VI and no Type VI were ever asexual. Intensity levels can change and actually grow over time and even Walinder recognized this also.

It would be nice if being transsexual was totally black and white for everyone.  Unfortunately it is not.  I cannot say I am a big fan of the term transgender or tranny or any of those terms but I stopped being transsexual in late January 1971 and names cannot hurt me now.

When are you going to stop being transsexual?

And of course the larger point is that this is about a medical condition, not a criteria of who is a real woman. That irritating canard is thrown around as a distraction any time a sacred tranny cow is about to be gored. Womanhood rests only on how you live your life, and nothing else. These arguments, this science, all of that pertains only to who was born with the transsexual condition. If you can arrive at womanhood in some other way, more power to you. I believe the studies and facts show that those who refuse to adhere to the basic standards that society places on women (to a point, don’t go crazy with the sexist crap), are not transsexual. See Jan Wallinder’s #4. Those who claim special status and want to be seen as more than women, are not women and neither are they transsexual. This stuff is tautological, yet the points have to be made over and over and over.

It is a medical condition but yet you base you premise on the study of a freaking Psychiatrist in Ethel Person? My god you are clueless. What standard does society place on women? Who sets these standards some pseudo-intellectual nimrod like you? Please enlighten us all on your standards. The only one claiming special status is YOU. What an ignorant person you are along with being so self righteous. It is like you are forming your own little cult which might actually be closer to the truth than I want to think of.

If you aren’t transsexual, then the treatment protocols for this physical malady shouldn’t concern you at all, should they? Which is why it amazes me when I read a news story where some aspect of the transsexual medical treatment is being discussed, and the writer or reporter goes to the gays and transgenders for comment. What business is it of theirs? And that’s why anti-transsexual comments coming from supposed type V transsexuals are so laughable. If you really wanted to improve the way the transsexual medical condition was received, you wouldn’t be spending all your time tearing it down and telling people why gay men and crossdressers are a type of transsexual. That crap is just nonsense.

First off I was diagnosed as Type VI by Benjamin in late 1959 but that and 2 dollars will get  me a good sized  coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Does that make me a "gay transsexual" in your myopic view of the world? By the way I said Benjamin and others have conjectured but never have said transvestites may be a very mild form of transsexualism and Walinder agreed with Benjamin and it may shock you to know Dr. Person did also.

Where am I spending all my time tearing down anything about the transsexual medical condition? Not only are you illogical you are paranoid. You really are obsessed with gay men and cross-dressers and based on just the current world people who bitch and moan and scream about the evils of certain conditions or people are often what they are complaining  about.  Are you a gay man or a cross-dresser? Nothing to be ashamed about if you are.  Just wondering!!!

I’m reserving the right to add more to this rant, these people just piss me off with their constant nipping at my heels. If they wanted to help, they’d be out writing pro-transsexual pieces and not spending their time focusing one of the few people on the internet who doesn’t accept the TG dogma. Hmm, what does that say about them?

Like I said above  you are often what you claim to hate. How many gay right wing crazy preachers have there been?  Lots!! By the way that was the first and only post I would ever have done on some loser like you but hey some fools just don't know when to shut up and that would be you.

And in case anyone wanted another reason to disassociate ourselves from crossdressers, here is a fetish crossdresser who murdered two women and was convicted recently:
On Yahoo

News video on Youtube

People who insist we provide cover for crossdressers and gay men by membership in the GLBTg are way off base. It’s not about being nice and friendly with “the community”. These are not our burdens to bear in the first place! We have enough to deal with, and we don’t need men’s issues piled on top of us as well.

Just another pathetic rant and another attempt to justify you homophobia and hatred of cross-dressers and anything not exactly like you. Are you trying to say that this fetish murderer is in any way representative of a transvestite or cross-dresser?  That is akin to saying the transsexual doctor who murdered his wife in Massachusetts is representative of transsexuals. In fact I could not find one comment where the term transgender was used concerning this sex predator and I may be wrong but they might not have used cross-dresser either.

In all honesty even for a paranoid fool like you this is beneath contempt to make this comparison but then you are exactly that aren't you? The worst part is your cult like followers will genuflect and bow to what their minds perceive as genuine cognizant thoughts when in reality it just is another example of both your delusional mind and total lack of common sense. Are you all planning to drink the cool-aid if things don't go your way?

I am still confused by your constant use of the term we as in the transsexual we. Are you a woman or are you transsexual? I guess it really doesn't matter because a fool by any other name is still a fool.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A challange to Aria Blue and her crowd of 5

****************** Addendum ******************

She did respond and it is in the comments with my
response to her.


A friend of mine continually tries to post on this persons blog but is moderated because she does not agree with some of her views but certainly not all of them. Aria Blue as I mentioned in an earlier post is someone that bases her entire life and being on the legitimacy of the Person-Ovesey study because quite bluntly it makes her feel she is better than others because she believes the Primary Transsexual definition makes her a Primary transsexual.

In point of fact it makes her the most common transsexual and what Benjamin defined as a Type V. Aria Blue dismisses Benjamin in favor of a study that met only several times with most of the transsexuals and claims to have met with or spoke with the mothers of the subjects but I can point you to two whose mother or parents would gladly have talked with them but were NEVER called. I am one of them.

I would try and post over there but she would simply delete it.  If you have the courage of your convictions then it can be discussed here and I will not delete any comment or rant by any of your minions.

Aria Blue blog

I was there and I participated and you are wrong. Somehow I feel you will not come on down for a discussion.

Child transsexuals and how early is too early

I have always believed that young transsexuals need to be helped and definitively but I do have some worries.  The worries are directed at the therapists and not the children. I am unconvinced that many therapists are qualified to either diagnose or treat children. The irony here is that all transsexuals were essentially child transsexuals whether they want to admit it to themselves or not. In my opinion if one did not have some form of gender discomfort when young then I have reservations about them being classified as transsexual.

The child transsexual everyone reads about today such as a Kim Petras or the 6 year old transitioning are the exception not the rule. Diagnosing gender identity issues in children is  life altering and if the therapists are wrong a life can be ruined.  Because a child wants to wear girls clothes and acts up if not allowed to does not make the child transsexual.  It is far more complicated than that yet many believe it is that simple.

Dr. Benjamin believed such children were what he defined as those with complete psycho sexual inversion which in layman's terms means they actually believe they are girls. They did not identify themselves as a girl trapped in a boys body they completely identified as girls. Kim Petras was such a case although I do not know her I am sure she is a very happy young lady today.

I have been looking at a lot of video clips from television shows involving children that transitioned early and that have been identified as transgendered/transsexual and in all honesty some of them may not be transsexual. I could never harm a child so I will not mention nor even hint which ones I feel may be misdiagnosed because hopefully I am dead wrong. In one I heard the words "I am a girl" and I have few concerns there but in several others I heard parents say the child liked to wear girls clothes and acted up when not allowed to and the child said "I like girl things" and comments that left me wondering because it almost seemed like the parents caved into the child to avoid confrontation and in several cases the children almost seemed to parrot words their parents used to define them.

I would have been considered a child transsexual many a moon ago and I have 2 friends that would also have qualified. We all identified ourselves as girls and told people that would listen we are girls. I grew up with two brothers as the middle child.  One friend grew up with an older sister and another with a younger sister and in none of these cases did we demand to dress and live as girls at very early ages and have tantrums if we were not allowed to. Maybe it is the difference in eras but we knew little about the difference between girls and boys. We liked pretty things and preferred girl toys but there were no tantrums because we were not allowed to live as a girl or have girls toys just disappointment. Maybe the three of us were anomalies.

Personally I thought I was a girl and mentioned it early and began to become very uncomfortable being boy around 8 but it was absolutely never about dressing as a girl.  The lone girl I would consider a friend was Roberta Fogo and when we played house on rainy days she asked what I wanted to be and I said her sister and well I was dressed as her younger sister and that resulted in me being caught by her dad dressed as her sister and being marched down the street in broad daylight to my home and presented to my mom as unacceptable behavior. My parents were disturbed by this scene, it was the 50's after all, but I didn't have a tantrum when told to change and for some bizarre reason they bought me an advanced chemistry set which was not a smart move.

I never needed to dress as a girl to feel I was a girl. Being a girl is not defined by how one dresses and how pink your room is and so forth. That led to my first shrink and a suicide attempt because I was really uncomfortable as a boy.  If my parents had told me you are a girl I would have been perfectly happy being a tomboy with my brothers but it was the simple concept that nobody would admit I was a girl that hurt so much. I was confused because I was who I was and that was not what I should be.  I am not explaining this as well as I should because it is not as simple as we all wish it was.When my older brother Ray said "he is a she" I was a happy little girl.

My parents were wonderful to me and I clearly remember many sit downs where I was the only subject but my brothers and I learned early on acting up and screaming and having a tantrum was not going to get you what you wanted. Many times I remember them telling me we will figure this out together but I was not dressing in girls clothes that young.

All this resulted in a series of sessions with a Psychiatrist from Harvard and my first confrontation with a Psychiatrist. It took a while but I just told him I was a girl and he said no you are not and mentioned physical stuff and I said I didn't care because I knew I was a girl and it went from bad to worse. In the world today that might have gotten me an offer to live as a girl and a new birth certificate changing it from M to F.

It wasn't until somewhere between 10-12 that the intensity increased and I had to be a girl but even then it was not about dressing it was I needed to physically be a girl because I knew the difference and I was wrong. When I realized I liked boys was when dressing as a girl became very important. I was feminine because of the endocrine hormone issue resulting in low testosterone but boys could never like me as a boy. If mom was alive she would attest that that was when I began saying "I am a girl.  Why can't you just let me be a girl. I am not hurting anyone if I am a girl." and it became my lament in words close to that. It was then that I pushed every limit possible and I was as feminine as possible.

I guess what I am saying is I am really worried that some of these therapists are diagnosing kids as transgender because they fit some gender-variant defined under transgender when they should really be determining if they are transsexual or not and basing any transition on that. I do have some experience in this area since my surgery.

In the nearly 40 years since I stopped being transsexual and became the girl I was a friend and I together helped 7 kids like us through this process. It started with a kid in Philadelphia and ended with a kid in Philadelphia for me personally and all of the ones we helped were from 12-14 except for one that was 18 which was the last one. In none of these cases did any of these kids demand to be allowed to dress and live as girls as young kids. It was more about being accepted as girls because they were girls. My friend has continued on because she can afford to and has two kids in Great Britain she is helping who transitioned at 13 because it was time and neither demanded to live as girls at young ages but as they reached puberty it became unbearable not to be female. Because of circumstances and the era in which it happened none of the original 7 transitioned until they left High School except for the last one who transitioned in high school and might be one of the most courageous kids I have ever known.

I flew with my friend to Wales and England to meet the new kids this summer and they were identical to the kids we helped earlier except in this case they were able to let the kids transition during the summer and return to school as girls. The two new children are on spiro and estrogen because even the therapists felt it was the best way to go. Except for surgery and a boyfriend when my breasts began to develop fully was one of the happiest days of my life and putting them on spiro without estrogen is silly in my mind since spiro also physically alters the child's development.

Giving in to children who demand they must live as girls is not the way to determine if a child is transsexual. In all the cases I have been involved with, it is a small sample, the parents rebuffed the attempts or the children did not push that issue which resulted in a kind of steel like determination to be what they should be which is characteristic of an intense psycho sexual inversion  transsexual.

I want children that are transsexual to be helped early but when is it too early and when is it just giving in to a tantrum? I wish I was smart enough to know the correct answer but my fear is many of the therapists diagnosing kids early and allowing them to or even encouraging them to transition as early as kindergarten are even less knowledgeable than me and at least I was one once. Letting a child "express" themselves is not reason to define a child as gender dysphoric and even though I dismiss Person-Ovesey as fraudulent they did recognize that many of the young effeminate boys ended up being gay and not transsexual and it pains me to say this but I fear this may be an issue in some of these early diagnosed children.

It is such an inexact science that being cautious at an early age may not be the worst idea but being aggressive once the determination is positive is more effective. We do not need kids being driven down this road unless they are really determined to drive themselves down this road. In all of the cases I have been involved with including myself it was our determination to drive ourselves down the road that made it work and I do not believe many kids at a young age truly understand the road they want to travel.


Monday, October 18, 2010

Transsexual, transgender, differences, similarities, and my head hurts now

**********Addendum to original post *************

I continue to be told we have commonalities with everyone under the transgender umbrella but nobody has given me a list of those commonalities.  Would someone please list them and I will add them to this post. If there are commonalities I will support them but right now I do not know of any.


My post on coming out resulted in an interesting comment from Melissa that brought up some questions and a comment that I hear a lot today. I have great respect for Melissa's opinions and for all opinions regardless.

I have one simple question for all of you and then I will give my opinion.

Why do so many in the Trans community only want to celebrate similarities and not difference?

I guess I am a little confused by all this transsexual verses transgender and down with differences and up with similarities game. Difference makes the world go round and I believe that in my heart. It is our differences that makes the human condition tolerable. Lord, what a miserable world it would be if we were all the same yet here we are today with many telling us, me in particular, that we should celebrate or only discuss and promote our similarities. How did you people get so lost?

The best answer I can come up with is fear or an inferiority complex based on the assumption that one group is better or more trans the other so if we only celebrate similarities I am as good as they are. That is just plane silly but many want to perpetrate this myth for some reason.

Each and every life on this beautiful orb called Earth is just so very precious and nature creates difference for its own reasons and whether we like it or not they exists and should be examined, cherished, treasured, and celebrated as OK as long as the differences are within the bounds of reasonable which means keep the church out of it.  Pedophilia is not but being trans is OK because being trans is not a choice but just the way it is and how you are or were. Nobody gave their mom a call on the internal baby to mom phone and said hey mom I want to be a cross-dresser, hey mom I want to be bi-sexual, hey mom I want gender confusion or hey mom can I be born with an endocrine system that cannot decide if I am boy or girl along with gender identity issues.  It is not much different tha another child in the womb calling mom on the internal phone asking if they can please be born intersex or with some birth defect.

I do not believe any of us had a choice and Harry Benjamin believed similarly. My problem is why can't people understand that a Type V or VI transsexual has decidedly different issues than a cross-dresser or a drag queen or any other person not considered transsexual under the transgender banner. It is just the way it is.  It does not make anyone more important than others but the issues are different.

Changing birth certificates, changing names on a driver license, social security in the United States,  and such problems are transsexual problems. Workplace safety and protection during transition is a transsexual issue. Transsexuals have to deal with therapists, hormones, and more than likely surgery.

I am totally uninformed about transvestites and others defined as transgender so I welcome anyone to list for me the issues they have that relate to transsexuals.

I will admit I have always been baffled why the term transgender was chosen since it was stolen from Charles "Virginia" Prince the noted transvestite with the sole purpose of distancing transvestites from the loons that wanted to desecrate their bodies with surgery. Transsexuals were specifically excluded form transgender which begs the question did anyone bother to ask whether transsexuals wanted to be under the banner transgender or was that a decision made by activists?

It is not that I get heart burn thinking about it but it certainly confuses some issues. People say they are transgender in one quote and transsexual in the next quote.   Confusion is not good because it obscures what is and what isn't.

Transsexual is a medical definition that is reasonably specific.  Transvestite has a specific meaning while transgender has really no specific meaning or definition and to back this up I provide this link to the definition of transgender and in particular this paragraph.

A transgender individual may have characteristics that are normally associated with a particular gender, identify elsewhere on the traditional gender continuum, or exist outside of it as "other," "agender," "Genderqueer," or "third gender". Transgender people may also identify as bigender, or along several places on either the traditional transgender continuum, or the more encompassing continuums which have been developed in response to the significantly more detailed studies done in recent years.

What do any of us identified as transsexual or even transvestite have in common with anyone existing outside our norms or considered "other". I have digressed from my original idea so I beg forgiveness because as I delved into all this stuff I am getting more confused and I'm usually not easily confused.

Maybe the world has really passed me by. I cannot wait to be enlightened!!!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Should you come out?

I noticed the posts this week on many blogs that it was National Coming Out Day or Week or something like that. I find it quite interesting that those that are out want to encourage others to come out.  Are they lonely? Does misery want company? Is it very important that more transsexuals are out so regular people have more to gawk at or point out? If more transsexual/transgender people are out will it make it better for everyone?

I have more questions and no answers to most because I am not sure why anyone would come out if they don't have to and why anyone would ask someone to come out. Coming out was always related to coming out about one's sexual preference and if per chance I happened to like girls I would be open a about if asked but again I am always puzzled when someone asks about an individuals sexual preference.  Do gays and lesbians go around asking people if they are heterosexual? Can you imagine the outrage at that?

Could you imagine the outrage if a transsexual walked up to a genetic women and asked them if they were transsexual or why she wasn't out and proud of being transsexual. Now comes the crux of the entire concept of transsexuals coming out. It is valid to come out as a transsexual before surgery but I am sorry but I don't consider myself transsexual or transgendered or anything like that after surgery. I consider myself a woman that had the misfortune of being born transsexual that I corrected by having surgery.

At one time I was a transsexual or transgender or a tranny and I really could care less if anyone who knows my past asks me if I was once one of those terms. Those names mean something to my past but not my present. If someone uses those terms I am not getting upset because it is what it is as a famous coach says. In this case words cannot hurt me.

When I exited the recovery room and was taken to my room in a comfortable haze Harry was there and he didn't ask me how it felt to be a complete transsexual.  Harry asked the most simple of questions.

"How does it feel to finally be you?"

 Being the horny young girl I truly was I said. "It feels wonderful.  How soon can I have sex?"

Harry had a good laugh at that one but once surgery is done you were a girl because either the psycho-sexual inversion or born in the wrong body syndrome you were in is no longer viable.  It is over and now it is time to live your life. If you want to be known as a women who was born transsexual that is your right. That is a key distinction we need to be adamant about.

In my life from 13 1/2 on most people knew I wanted to be a girl right through to the day I moved to NYC. I had little choice because the endocrine gods played both a cruel trick on me yet in the long run a kindness but  when you are a kid you do not realize that. In fact my life was easier once people knew even in the 50s and 60's because it just sort of made sense as one boy said.

Living one's adult life out is another thing.  I guess it depends on what you want from life and nobody lives the same or wants the same but I wanted to be a normal girl. I could not be normal if I was out and I could not live back home if I wanted to be private so I chose to abandon home except for special occasions.

The permutation of issues involved with being out or not are beyond the scope of anything I could possibly argue in print because there is not enough paper or cloud storage available and I am not sure I have the time. In my life I prefer to consider myself private about my past but not stealth which has become an evil word which is weird. I have gay and lesbian friends that know nothing of my past but I have supported financially and walked to support issues relevant to their cause.

When mom was still alive and still lived in my childhood home I would still have people pissing me off with the same stupid questions because they were new to the neighborhood and new to me.

The direct slap in the face: "Were you once a guy?". Why ask since you obviously know because someone told you. Is this a verification process?

The backhanded slap in the face : "There is no way you were once a guy, were you?" You believe I was or there is no need for the question.

The  one from the neighbor you knew: "You make a nice girl." I guess this is better than you are uglier than dog shit but not by much. You are pretty is more complimentary dummy.

The one I found the best was: "Did the surgery hurt?" I always wanted to pull out the checkbook and ask them if they wanted to find out.

The best was: "I always knew you were a beautiful girl." Then why the heck did you beat the crap out of me? Do you beat other girls up? Got that one at my High School reunion from a guy that tormented me as a boy.

The issues for us are totally different and as far as I can personally tell the only reason to be out as transsexual is to be an activist which is another pet peeve of mine or to be a roll model for other transsexuals and I don't want to be anyone's roll model.

If you want to be out go for it but don't tell those that prefer a quieter existence they are betraying their sisters  if we are not out and besides I only have two brothers and I'll pick who my sisters are myself.  We are just being true to ourselves and what works best for us the same as you are to yourself.