Trans-Ranting

The latest buzzword or favorite term for the transgender crowd is "trans". Trans is the new version of tranny which had one meaning in the United States but another in Britain from what I am told. The first time I ever heard the use of the word "tranny" was from a friend that wrote to me in her attempt to help me.  She met me and my mother on my first trip to Harry's office in NYC in the Spring of 1960 when I was 14 and shortly after my neighbor Chuck had nearly killed me when he raped me.


Harry had visited me in both Mass General and my local city Hospital. People were obviously worried about the traumatic post rape damage that might happen but the only memory I have of it was getting hit on the back of the head after he told me his wife, a friend, would like to see me. I have zero and I mean zero memory of anything that happened.  In fact I have no memory of being taken to Mass General or even being there other than what I have read in letters between my mother and Harry and what Mary has written about that event which I have been unprepared to post here.  Sometimes not knowing is not so bad.


When I heard the term tranny it was spoken with affection from one who once was transsexual to a still naive kid that was transsexual. I do not frequent porn sites but I gather the she-male crowd has so overused the term it is partially why it is out of favor. I also believe it has a lot to do with the transgender crowd and its complete attempt to destroy the usage of and the existence of those of us born transsexual. It is just my opinion but it was certainly they that have fought its usage. It is of little importance anyways.


The new term the transgender crowd loves is "trans". It goes along with there absurd belief that transgender is forever and that belief that the "transgender" need special protection because they are in fear for their lives and are discriminated against by both the public  and all us "transsexual" elitists. Trans is their newest attempt at there ever compulsive need to make us all the same under one umbrella term. It is insidious and malicious but few seem aware of it.


If you look at T-Central you will see blog after blog using terms like "transman", "transwoman", "transphobia", etc. in order to pull everyone under the umbrella. They call themselves women when they put a dress on but transwoman when questioned because even they know it is a load of horse shit they are piling on because unless everyone is always considered trans then those that are truly transgender are about as sympathetic as an ax murderer or as logical as a screen door in a submarine.


The really funny thing is some of the ass-clowns spouting this rhetoric are classic.  One is a 62 year old man that recently decided to con a therapist into putting him on hormones and suddenly he is a woman and those of us that were born transsexual spent $50,000 on surgeries and are no better than him in his dress because he cannot afford that surgery. This is the same man that has obsessed over womanless Beauty Pageants, cross-dressers and transvestites on the telly and everything related to being you typical transvestite. He openly stated he was a cross-dresser/transvestite but suddenly that has changed.


He is your typical male transvestite that late in life decides to "go all the way".  Unfortunately for everyone he is a walking advert for the autogynephelia crowd and is now since transitioning a leading expert on all things "trans" including transsexuals, women born transsexual, the transgendered, and most important everything about being a woman. He is appalled we women would reject his access to our spaces because he is a woman like all of us or if you push him we women born transsexual are not really women.


He is of course one of those screaming about the Jenna Talackova Miss Universe story and his trans insistence on calling Jenna "transgendered" because everyone needs a special label in the "trans" community. He even tried to hold himself up as an icon or role model because all of us stealthy girls are such losers and so despicable since we are not "out and proud".  Pretty easy to say that when you are a 62 year old man and have never lived as a woman other than going to a "special" bar en femme where men of course find his 62 year old self irresistible. His delusion is complete I guess.


He is a prime example of what transgender represents but he is not a role model for any 13 year old transsexual, or any 18 year old transsexual, and actually he is not an example for ANYONE that is transsexual but I do expect him to identify as transsexual soon because that is the standard mantra and narrative for all too many of them.  He will suddenly have been a girl all his life and knew when he was 4 he should have been a girl and boys were attracted to him and so forth and on and on.  He will of course be believed by all in the transgender community because that is the story they heard from those born transsexual and it really works well with the dumbshit therapists they see.


I decided to write this post to set a few things straight just to clarify things for men like this. He actually posted that those of us that have had SRS are "transsexual elitists" because we do not support his womanhood. He has the part about transsexual and elitists wrong but he is correct we do not support his womanhood.


I find it humorous but also infuriating when I realize so few people really know why we were considered transsexual. Transsex would have been a better choice but Harry started using transsexual after D. O. Cauldwell coined the term transexual with one "s" in 1949. There was a very specific reason the sexual part was added to trans to form transsexual and it has irritated the transgender and it is why they are out to destroy usage of transsexual.


It meant and still means across sex or more accurately going across to the other sex which infers changing the sex characteristics of the individual to match the sex they should be since all transsexuals thought they were either already the other sex, total psycho sexual inversion, or a were trapped in the body of the wrong sex. Thus came the phrase "changing sex", or "sex change", or "sex reassignment surgery". In my time we always seemed to use "sex change" but then we were just kids.

There is this misconception that Harry talked about gender identity but that is incorrect.  Some believe John Money was behind the coinage of the terms "gender dysphoria" and "gender identity disorder" but it was actually first coined in papers written by Laub and Fisk in 1974. This event would eventually lead to the stealing of the anti-transsexual term transgender by some radicals in order to provide a more united front or an umbrella term without asking anyone but admittedly who could they ask since they were all out and proud militants and most women born transsexuals just got on with life as women.

There was also the misconception that Harry said many transsexuals are asexual. Harry did say that but his meaning has been lost on most. Harry was always talking about those of us born transsexual and fighting to survive and fix our birth defect and he did think it was a medical condition. Many pre-operative transsexuals were asexual for various reasons but primarily because we were the wrong sex. I would not be classified as asexual because I had a high interest in sex with boys but I did not have my first sexual experience until I was 25 1/2 and finally a girl. Many transsexuals were married or single and found it difficult to have sex with even their wives without some fantasy and the single ones just had no outlet so asexual was what it was.

Harry did not believe we were asexual after a sex change. In fact he was amazed how many that married as men had happy and consistent sex lives with their husbands and boyfriends and yes even girlfriends if lesbian. My first sexual experience is still one of those moments in life that is hard to put into words. Very few women born transsexual are asexual after SRS. According to Harry, late in his life we are pretty normal females in that respect.

The reason the transgender despise the word transsexual is because it clearly explains what a transsexual is as does transgender clearly explain what they are. We change sex permanently and they change genders when they feel like it. It was not long ago that sex and gender were considered different but that would not do and a concerted effort was made to force transsexuals under the "gender" banner. I changed sex a long time ago but in my everyday life I morph gender appearance depending upon where I was and what I am doing.  If I was on my husband's family ranch in Texas I dressed like everyone which was like a male cowboy with curves as the ranch foreman called it. I have never been afraid to get dirty and was basically a tomboy there. 

Being a tomboy is one of the few privileges we women get over men in public. We get to freely wear male style cloths but outside of the work or activity we are not trying to emulate men. The truth is simple. It is gender appearance that is fluid in women but not our gender. In most men gender appearance is rigid but in cross-dressers and transvestites it is far from rigid and the annoying part is these men do not realize they are caricatures of women and in so many ways plain insulting to women.  I find it hilarious when transvestites and cross-dressers get their panties in a bunch when Saturday Night Live lampoons men in dresses or they get pissed off at RuPaul and his drag show on LOGO.  At least RuPaul and his contestants admit they are men which is not something the transgendered will ever admit. They insist wearing a dress makes them women.

The transgender crowd wants "gender" to define what is male/masculine and female/feminine when gender really only defines what is masculine and feminine.  They have been quite effective at this in all honesty and even have parents of young transsexual children using the term transgender.  I often wonder how many would use transgender if they truly realized they were classify their child with those that have a fetish. We had some very interesting conversations with the parents of the two children currently being helped. 

The interesting part is you will find these transvestite and cross-dresser leeches attaching themselves to these kids or the parents. If the parent has a blog they are active in the comment section. They never fail to get the point out how similar they are which is a fucking lie. 

The word that really irritates me is "transphobia".  If you disagree with the transvestites and cross-dressers you are transphobic. Well I have to admit to one thing, I am absolutely Transvestite-phobic and crossdresser-phobic. I have good reason since I unfortunately married one of them and was hurt by one of them and I know what sniveling little worms they are. They are manipulative and deceitful men whose only aim is their personal fetish. 

There is one on T-Central that posts daily with photos every day yet claims he works multiple jobs to kept the family in food and in a home yet this man rents hotel rooms so he can go out en femme and at his size those outfits are not inexpensive.  I gather he is going en femme to some conference and I pray if he is driving he obeys the speed limit because if that gets stopped for a ticket the poor police officer might suffer cardiac arrest looking in the window. It is particularly annoying reading how the "wife" doesn't know yet they manage to sneak out somewhere to dress. Sounds like a marriage that poor women bought into for sure.

If one has a strong stomach one can read the blogs on T-Central. It reads like a rogues gallery of sissy men playing girl while screaming prejudice because they are not accepted in society which is where all you still transsexual come in and those of us that have that history come in. They need to ride our backs to legitimacy but maybe, just maybe, people are beginning to understand. 

There is a very simple truth about life. If born transsexual and you perceive yourself as a woman and work hard at being a good women along with appropriate medical intervention then society will accept you as a woman.  If you insist on being known as a transwoman or permanently transgendered then society will see you as the man in a dress whether you like it or not. Sex is binary and you belong to one or the other and even the intersex get to choose. I doubt they choose neither. The transgender want the privilege of choosing gender for the day or basically either/or.

In the transgender world sex is not binary because gender and sex are the same so sex characteristics are not relevant and oh so very convenient for them. Women can have a penis and fuck other women. Men can have a vagina and get pregnant.  It is just one big joyous "I am what I say I am world" and everyone should just get over it.

This need to be special actually comes from the alliances made with GLAAD and the original GLB. You would be surprised how few gays and lesbians believe in what they stand for or say. Funny how that works isn't it. The "out" activist that wants to permanently be known makes the decisions. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

Misogynists, nitwits, feminists, and me

Suzan of Women born Transsexual is a blogger that I follow. Suzan had a post that made a couple of points or better yet clarified a couple of points for me personally about the transgendered. Suzan is not one to bother with euphemisms but she does occasionally love a good allegory as her continued reference to Cybele's knife in place of SRS.  Look it up.

The only problem, it is probably mine by the way, is Suzan is a committed Radical Left Wing Ideologue and Second Wave Feminist and is almost incapable of writing a post that does not involve her core ideology and her feminism which in my humble opinion at times takes away from her innate ability to get to the core of the problem we women born transsexual face with the transgender idiot patrol.

Actually I am not a First or Third Wave Feminist either although if I ran into Helen Gurley Brown or Gloria Steinem they would actually know me although I guess Helen is out of favor with some feminists. It does seem tough to be a heterosexual female feminist because if you like men, want to attract a man, want to have sex with said man, want to marry said man, and want to have children with said man then being his sex object kind of goes with the territory which is how future little Second Wave feminists come into being unless of course artificial insemination is used but then a man had to jack off so I am not sure how that fits in. Now Suzan does not debunk this because she does believe in reproductive innateness.

Now do not get me wrong, Feminists have done some good things for women but they may have done something for those of us born transsexual inadvertently as Suzan points out. Feminism debunks the gender stereotypes about how women should dress and act.  Here is an interesting paragraph from Suzan.

On the other hand I view the ideology of the Transgender Borg as one of the most sexist, misogynistic piles of crap I’ve ever seen.  Defining someone as a man or a woman based on how they dress and act.  Oh I forgot the nebulous “identify”.  What the fuck is identify?  Without action that gets made real how is this relevant?

Well isn't that little paragraph kind of interesting. A transvestite aka the Transgender Borg most certainly does define a woman as how one dresses and acts. Now I am someone that does enjoy dressing to the Nines as Evita sang about but like most women comfortable in their own skin and their own life I was and am as comfortable dressed in jeans, a flannel shirt, boots, and a hat shoveling cow and horse shit on my late husband's family ranch in Texas.  I was informed early on by a friend who worked for a major Couture  House in NYC that I should only wear makeup when necessary because it was bad for a girls skin.

Now that is not something the Transvestite Borg, oops a slip maybe, can or would do because after all a woman is defined by wearing a bra; wearing the shortest imaginable dress; caking on the makeup to hide the 5 o'clock shadow; wearing the highest heels sold in size 14; wearing the best wig the wife will let you buy; and of course going en femme to a girls night out where "by law" everyone must accept you as a woman and use female pronouns or face $2500 in fines and one year in jail. Oops, that is Massachusetts where I grew up. Here in North Carolina it might be the men's holding cell but I am not sure.

Enough for my intended snide remarks for now. Suzan is just so dead on correct in that paragraph and I am sorry you might have to reread it as a result of my diversion. Is it not the ultimate "male" thing a man can do to redefine what a woman/female is and include themselves in a dress whenever they feel the "urge"? That is misogyny to the highest degree.  It is the ultimate insult to ANY women yet they see it as the "right" because they are men.  Only a man could envision a man in a dress in a ladies room as the legal right for men because that is what it is.  It is a new right for men taken from women.

Another paragraph from Suzan's post.

The other thing I have noticed is how many of these transgender women scream like an animal being dragged to the slaughter house when the topic of transgender being a way to maintain heterosexual male or male privilege while claiming to be “women”.  Conversely some in the F to M world cling to their membership in the lesbian community while claiming they are really men.  But here’s a major flaw.  Men don’t get pregnant, a pregnant man is an oxymoron.

Another quote from Suzan.

That pretty much means I define maleness and femaleness by body parts and consider man and woman to be synonyms for adult males and females. Clothes don’t make the man or woman, nor does masculinity or femininity.

This basically means sex identity verses gender identity in my world. In my world a woman has a vagina and a man has a penis. If you have a penis and are wearing a dress then you are a man in a dress regardless of how beautiful you make yourself unless you are planning on SRS.  If you want to live in a world where gender is what you want it to be then you may or may not have that right depending upon where you live but simply put if you have a vagina you are a female.  If you have a penis then you are  a man regardless of how you dress. Men do not get pregnant and women do not father children. That only happens in the fantasy world called the Realm of the Transgendered which I am sure will be a new XBox game within the year.

Just to make myself clear I do not agree with a lot of Suzan's rants concerning women, fashion, men, and lord knows what else but she has her right to her opinions on those subjects and they are based in her Far Left Radical Feminists Views. I do consider those as necessary as I do the Extreme Right Wing views because sometimes they actually say or bring up something relevant.

Take the Republican Representative from Massachusetts Mr. Lombardi who made the statement that "transsexuals are not part of the Transgender because after SRS they are women" comment when fighting the Transgender Rights Bill in Massachusetts recently. There is some common ground there for any of us that were truly born transsexual but unfortunately for Suzan the Far Left are on the side of the Transgendered as can be seen daily in the USA.

I actually never found it offensive that my second husband thought of me as his sex object because I certainly thought of him as my sex object also. I gather it is a common thing in straight couples.  I do admit to not being in favor of abortion but also not believing I have the right to tell someone else what to do with their body. I am deeply influenced by my lifelong wish to be a sperm receptacle that got pregnant and I am not sorry for that. I openly admit Disney corrupted me with his fairy tales because I was the girl in all of them in my heart. I wanted my Knight in Shining Armor and when he finally did come to save me I was delighted I was his sex object.

I also admit that I used my sexuality and looks when dealing with men in business and socially. I would go into a detailed list of the firsts but it would certainly out me and that is not happening. I admit I liked feeling pretty, being pretty, wearing beautiful clothes, and since I was a heterosexual girl I certainly liked the looks I got from men because in most cases that was the intent. It is how one attracts a mate if one is a heterosexual girl.

I do not belong to or believe in any cults and that includes Organized Religion, The Transgender Borg, or even Feminism which in its strictest form might be considered a cult since even Helen Gurley Brown is frowned on in some Feminists circles because she liked being a man's sex object. Funny how that works.

So what have I learned today? Well I had never thought of the Transgender Borg as misogynistic but they really are. It is men telling women what it means to be a woman and how women dress and act along with re-defining women as men with a penis in a dress.

I also learned that feminists debunk the Transgender Myth because they oppose and have tried to debunk the myth that dress and action defines gender.

I also learned the Transgender might be a cult. Personally I prefer assholes but then I tend not to be subtle.

I really still am not a fan of the word misogynist but do find it appropriate in this case.

Damn it. I did exactly what I said Suzan does. Stuck my own world view into a post when I should not have. Sorry I am too lazy to rewrite it.

Why Would You Keep It?

 It has become the enduring question and most controversial decision in the transsexual community. Actually I should rephrase that. It has become the enduring question and most controversial decision in those that are transgendered because quite simply transsexuals do not think that way. I never thought I would ever see the day but it has happened and the simple fact it has happened points out the differences between those born transsexual and those not. What is it?

There are actually idiots running around in the world that think it is cool to be transsexual. They want to be transsexual. They are sprinkled throughout the blog world. Here is a short list of some we are painfully aware of on a daily basis.

1. The life long transvestite that announces they are deciding to be transsexual so they can get hormones. I kind of doubt the therapists would recommend estrogen for a transvestite but then again who knows.
2. The suddenly transsexual. There is one in particular that claims until 4 or so years ago he never had any gender issues but suddenly realized he was a transsexual and claims to immediately have been diagnosed as a Benjamin Type V or Type VI. Sorry it does not work that way despite what many think.
3. The noted blogger that is proud of her 7 inch "neoclit" which is another word for penis who claims her men like her penis which is slang for they like her to use it on them. Sorry but that is simply a she-male doing business with her peeps that like to delude themselves into believing they are not gay. I have had transsexual friends that did this to make money because they had to run to the streets from family but this particular blogger transitioned several decades ago.
4. The 47 XXY crowd. Well they are usually not 47 XXY but why fuss over details. One in particular got her idea that she was 47 XXY in a conversation with a dear friend of mine.  My friend mentioned 47 XXY in passing since she claimed feminization and within days her blog changed and she was suddenly intersexed, 47 XXY, and better than a transsexual which is her own words. She might be correct because anyone truly born transsexual will tell you that anything is better than being born transsexual.
5. Then there is my favorite. The transgender activist that suddenly began calling herself transsexual so she could get her birth records changed. She had her balls cut off and considers that gender affirmation surgery and then had the balls, she must have keep them in a jar, to claim the reason she would not have sex reassignment surgery was because of maintenance issues. It is almost like she is talking about a car.

There are many more classic examples but none of them are really bad people. Confused people for sure because only someone deluded or living in a fantasy world would want to be born transsexual. I guess it must be easier to decide you are transsexual. Anyone that was truly born transsexual will tell you it is a living nightmare. I have never met a transsexual that wanted to be transsexual but now they are everywhere it seems.

There was a distinct reason those involved with us in the "old days" coined the term transsexual. It is actually a simple term that implies we "trans" or "cross" or "transfer" across sex boundaries because we believe we are or want to be the opposite sex. Sex is binary if one excludes the truly intersexed because even they should have the right to chose which one they belong to. Gender is a social construct and in my opinion is fluid. Even after one has SRS how one expresses one's gender is fluid and can cross gender boundaries which is where transgender comes in. Gender is different depending upon where you currently reside in that it is expressed differently and hopefully freely in different regions of the world. Cultural Anthropologists understand this clear distinction.


Dr. Benjamin considered transsexuals cured after SRS was complete and we had assimilated into society in whatever manner we individually chose. Some of us did some activist work early on and decided to try an live as normal women.  Others chose to be out activists and it was their right to make that choice as it was my right to take a different path.

Many today want us to believe that because they have a penis it does not disqualify them from being female and a woman. The irony of it is most are "out" activists supposedly representing the "transgender" community under which they have gleefully and deliberately included transsexuals. Those in the transgender camp have no intention of ever giving up their identification as transgendered because sadly it is how they live their lives and it actually gives their lives meaning. For that primary reason there is no way they want transsexuals to profess that once we have our SRS we are cured and thus are no longer transsexual. You will never read or hear any transsexual say they are "transsexual forever" if they were truly born transsexual but "transgender forever" is the mantra of almost all in the transgender community.

It is why those in the transgender camp call us separatists. They claim being separate from the transgender banner hurts everyone but in reality it only hurts them. In a way we are both selfish because we are either no longer transsexual or cannot wait to be no longer transsexual and it pisses us off to be lumped in with others that both want to be transgender forever and in the case of those considered MTF want to keep their penis. In our eyes only a man would want to keep their penis because as women we realize how prized a possession it is to men. Without a penis they cannot piss on trees and mark their territory which is exactly what they are trying to do to all those truly born transsexual. Men believe they are superior to women and they may want to femulate or emulate or dress up for kicks but lord knows they need to keep that "power penis" they were born with. They are selfish because they know without those born transsexual they are simply a joke.

Without transsexuals under the transgender banner there is little to no validity to the transgender "movement". Who in their right mind would pass legislation for cross-dressers and transvestites which is the overwhelming largest majority under the transgender banner. In the United States they would be laughed at but by building the impression that "transgender" is a new terminology for "transsexual" they are able to delude the public and legal officials into supporting those that have no support. 

Has anyone ever read anywhere where the transgender crowd admits they are primarily transvestites and cross-dressers? Of course not. They are "transgender or the new buzz word "trans" which is all inclusive.  In reality all that those truly born transsexual really need is legislation that defines those that have "truly" undergone sex reassignment surgery as legally the sex they were reassigned to. After that we are covered like all men and women by the same rights as everyone else. Don't you find it ironic the one thing the transgender crowd does not openly support is the simple concept that once sex is completely reassigned then that individual should be legally the assigned sex? That would contradict their belief that women can have a penis and men can get pregnant. Silly me for not believing that.

I understand that there are some transsexuals that can not medically have complete sex reassignment and there should be a provision for them but a tightly focused one. So what has happened over the years is interesting.  Many people are now claiming to be transsexual when they are not. A lot of them want to keep that last vestige of maleness, their penis. Just think of it. What man would not love having a set of breasts he can fondle at will while he can jack off. Okay, that is simplistic but men, breasts, and dicks are primal. The only reason anyone born truly MTF transsexual would keep their penis is because of medical reasons. If it is financial then do what most of us did which was work your asses off to save the money for surgery and quite bluntly in today's money we paid more for our surgery than you do today.


The answer to the question "why would they keep it" is simple.  They keep it because at heart they will always be men.

A Sandeen Public Service Announcement for the Trans Community

First I need to thank Not Your Friend for bringing this to my attention but that aside Trans people need to understand where they stand under the law based on their actions.

I've got coffee; and I'm not afraid to use it 

is a link to the latest Autumn Sandeen post on San Diego LGBT Weekly.


No one has ever accused Autumn Sandeen of being the brightest light bulb in the string but that post took the cake. In this post Sandeen makes a mockery of someone I hold in high esteem. It is not the first time Sandeen has referenced Martin Luther King and Sandeen's pathetic attempt to equate her actions as a violation of a Martin Luther King belief and the attempt to link herself to him, somehow, is even beyond Sandeen's normal self aggrandizing belief that she has standards.  If Sandeen does have standards they are at the level of a snake's belly since her main aim in life is perpetrating the belief she is important. Sandeen is actually more like a pimple on the ass of all transsexuals and it would be nice if someone popped that pimple but then Sandeen would still be "transgender forever" which are Sandeen's words since in reality all transsexuals know Sandeen was never anything but marginally transsexual but that is not the focus of this post.


The focus of this post is regardless of your situation in the trans community do not be as big of a dummy as Sandeen was by admitting in writing that you committed multiple crimes under California Law.



First things first. It is not a crime to use racial or trans pejoratives since that is covered under the !st Amendment to Constitution as free speech. Being a foul mouthed racist or transphobic idiot is not illegal just dumb.





First Violation. It is assault to throw any fluid, including water or coffee, in anyone's face in the State of California.



Violation. It is a felony under California law to throw ANYTHING at a moving vehicle so throwing her coffee at a car violated the law and even if the car driver committed a moving violation under California Law it is a  misdemeanor.

Autumn should be careful because despite her self professed belief she is a woman the Sand Diego Police will put her in the male holding cell if she is arrested. If those neanderthals recognized her as male the Police will also and that would be a rather unpleasant situation for even Sandeen.

I think any trans person needs to understand where they stand with the Law and allowing some neanderthal to anger you enough verbally to commit an assault or a felony is just plain stupid.

Autumn's stupidity is beyond comprehension. If either person came forward now and went to the police poor Autumn has admitted her guilt in writing in a public forum. Even worse could have happened. Since the neanderthal was assaulted he could have physically retaliated and assaulted Sandeen. I wonder if subconsciously that was not Sandeen's actual intent.

Can you imagine how proud Sandeen would be if Sandeen had been assaulted because Sandeen was trans. Good lord that would be worth multiple posts and tons of "street cred" in the Professional Trans brigade. I get this feeling Sandeen has always wanted to be a martyr and this was Sandeen's chance. Then again maybe she scared the crap out of this neanderthal with Sandeen's brazen act of courage.

Either way no trans person should ever be stupid enough to physically retaliate for words.  In that respect Sandeen has given us a clear example of how not to respond to words whether one feels "justified" or that the individual "deserved" to be drowned in coffee saturated with Sandeen's oral germs which is why it may actually be a felony and not simple assault in California.

I was shocked when Sandeen used the "pass" word since I obviously was mistaken in my belief that "pass" was something only us "old timers" considered important and was a rule or concept that should be discouraged because it is not required to either look like a woman, act like a woman, or physically to have one's sex characteristics corrected to be a woman. It is a big part of the "transgender forever" mantra Sandeen lives her life by along with her "Trans and Proud" lifestyle.

Sandeen gave into her base male instincts for physical retaliation when Sandeen should have simply followed the Sandeen mantra and calmly said "I am Trans and Proud and Transgender Forever" and kept on walking. It does make me wonder if Sandeen actually believes her own bullshit in so many ways. Sandeen actually wanted to "pass" and was hurt because the neanderthal  recognized Sandeen as a man in a dress which hurt Sandeen's self esteem. Funny how that works for even some of the "Trans and Proud" crowd.

I guess Sandeen wants everyone to realize that weaponizing your coffee and assaulting a neanderthal and a car with it is not justified even if one is "justified" and the perpetrator "deserved" it. Somehow that does not equate to anything King believed in unless one is as delusional as Autumn Sandeen.

Somehow I rather doubt this was the first, nor last, time Autumn has been picked out of a crowd.

It is tough for Truth Purveyors these days

This blogging world has become such a hazardous venue for those that purvey the Truth.  It is such a bitter battle out there getting their version of the Truth accepted as plain fact even if they have no facts to actually back up their versions of the Truth. It seems like it is a very tough world out there for the Truth purveyors.  Just ask them they will tell you and they want your sympathy now.

Of course if anyone attacks them may the good lord help the attacker. Oh yeah, by attack they mean anyone that would so much as dare question their version of the Truth. Purveyors of the Truth are never wrong and are never required to actually back up what they purvey because obviously it is the truth because they are purveyors of the Truth.  They are the Truth police and they often have their own Truth Squad they sick on the non-believers.

The irony of Truth purveyors is they often seem to squabble over the same truth(s) and that is where it becomes troublesome for the rest of us. Isn't it a dichotomy or impossible for two polar opposite versions of the same truth? They fight over their versions of the truth viciously.  I could say like cats and dogs but mine like each other. These Truth purveyors do not like each other.

The eerie part of being a Truth purveyor is sometimes you need to slide your version of the truth a little to the left or maybe a smidge to the right but is the other version of your truth now an untruth? Then there are others who do not even realize they are changing their version of the truth from post to post.  We all contradict ourselves because we are human and I am no exception and I am often wrong and easily will admit it if and when I am. The problem with being a purveyor of the Truth is people like me and others that simply say you are wrong and ask them to prove they are correct.

How dare any non Truth Purveyor ask a true Truth Purveyor to backup what we should know is the obvious truth. If anyone does they are attacked viciously and on a personal level. In the world of the transsexual the favorite is to accuse one of being something horrible like a transvestite, cross-dresser, fag, gay boy, and sundry other derogatory pejoratives or pejorative phrases.  They enjoy spreading the pain around and hurting everyone they despise by claiming the questioner is not who they are and one of "them".  They did this with me and in what can best be described as a possible personal failure I responded.  OK, I am Welsh and I do not consider it a personal failure since I am not turning the cheek to some pathetic Truth Purveyor.

Funny how Truth Purveyors never answer the question but make the questioner the issue isn't it? Very male if you ask me and yes that was a shot across all their bows.

Well it seems that I have now been categorized by a certain truck driver of having raped, terrorized, and attacked her fearless leader or the Blue Queen of Mean and a noted Truth Purveyor. At the same time she is hinting there is an apropos comparison to MLK with her Queen the Truth Purveyor. I will get to the rapist and terrorist part shortly but first you stupid fool how can you dare even intimate that Aria Blue is apropos of Martin Luther King you pathetic sycophant. Aria Blue is a Hate Purveyor and because after trying to destroy me the Hate Purveyor is running for cover does not make her apropos of anyone other than other similar Hate Purveyors.

I have seen some hubris over the years but comparing Aria Blue to MLK is insulting beyond anything I can recall. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Any time you like we can go over the chronology of who said what about whom and I can assure you I responded and never started it and you know that. If you give it expect to get it back and that is what irritated Aria so she attempted to use her Truth Squad to attack anyone that questioned her and that was me.  Everyone knows who they are.

Right now they are fawning all over Aria because Aria has in theory shut her blog down. I am assuming they want her to perform a Resurrection on herself but I am not sure it is that easy getting off your own cross after you have nailed yourself to it. I cannot wait for the T-Central headlines announcing Aria is back to save the Transsexuals. It will be the second coming of Aria.

I have never really had a foot in this insane battle.  I was once transsexual and do not want to be under transgender but I also do not feel the entire world is out to get the "classic" transsexuals such as the Truth Purveyor and her squad. Aria wanted to promote her version of who is and who is not transsexual. In order to do that you need someone to hate and I am afraid certain fools in the Transgender community are easy targets and she jumped with both feet. You are also required to discredit any other transsexuals that you feel do not fit into your own neat and myopic view of who is transsexual and thus we came to me and my life

Now to the comment I raped Aria.

I’m still across the street, trailer still attached, millstone weighing heavily, when I spy a link on Facebook from a friend’s profile professing the greatness of a certain blog.  The same blog that attacked and terrorized and raped my other friend.  How apropos.

Aria was not raped by anyone and it is just another attempt by her loser sycophants to promote their Queen as a martyr. I gather you have conveniently forgotten what Aria has said to people who have opposed her over the years.  People that never said a cross word to Aria were vilified on her blog by her, you, and the few other sycophants that followed the party line. They were called vile things and the Truth Queen morphed her Truth to fit her pets.

You need to get a way-back machine lisalee18wheeler and learn what your Hate Purveyor master said about you way back when. People like you were vilified and if any of her long term sycophants were honest they would admit to that but I am sure she apologized to you profusely as her Truth Squad shrunk. One cannot be a good Truth Purveyor without a good Truth Squad.

I will assume you meant rape as in:

An act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.

Nope didn't do any of that either. Questioning someone is not plundering or violent abuse.  What Aria has done to people has often approached abuse but it was never violent and I have given in return what I received. Sorry for not being a compliant little pupil of your Messiah but intelligent people defend their position without resorting to questioning the questioner and ignoring the question. Aria never defends her position because after all she is the Purveyor of Truth.

Now we get to terrorized:

1. to coerce or control by violence, fear, threats, etc.

2. to inspire with dread; terrify

Are you implying I somehow terrorized Aria Blue? I have the copy of the email sent to her asking if what I learned was true.  If she wants I will update it so everything is truthful and she can authorize its release.  After all didn’t she try to do that to me but failed miserably? Don’t get mad just get even or never screw with the Welsh.

The only terror was the simple fact she was fearful people would learn she is a total fraud. Well she is a fraud and along with that a deadbeat father among more than a few misconceptions she has conjured up as the Purveyor of Truth. As a Messiah she should realize the truth shall set you free or one can just run for cover. She chose the latter. There is not much worse than being a deadbeat dad.

If she had told the truth about herself and been honest about past mistakes and actually practiced what she is now claiming she did, her last post is beyond disingenuous by the way, there would be no issues. My being was challenged and I responded but I do wonder how such an amazing empath and such a transcendent force as Aria could possibly be raped or terrorized by anyone? Those are her words by the way and not mine as was everything I posted about her.

The Purveyor of the Truth was fearful of the truth. Now how apropos is that?

Hopefully this is the final word but I doubt it.

What I know about a certain blogger will stay unpublished. I am sure they will still accuse me of being gay, a transvestite, and other nasty names but I will continue to argue with her over her misguided view of what this medical condition called transsexualism is and how it relates to people and not her ideology. If she doesn't like it she is welcome to comment here but that does assume she can use her immense internet skills to learn how to place a comment over here.  She seems to not be as internet literate as she thinks. Either that or she is afraid.

The only comment I can make about her is to please realize she is expressing an opinion and it is rarely based in fact and certainly not something she has experienced in most cases and her comments and nastiness towards those that question her is based in her own inferiority complex about herself and to consider the source.  I will try and do that myself but more people need to pressure her to be more honest about herself so please visit here and ask her what her experience is that gives her this insight into transsexualism.  Be prepared to be moderated quickly.

Actually Aria is far more civil than June Hingle who comments as nobody on my blog. I will just try and ignore June but it can be difficult. I can handle criticism but not the name calling and June can be quite vile so we will see.

What I write on this blog is my opinion if it is commentary and stories from my early life that might help others understand what it was like to be a kid like me in the 50s, 60s, and early 70s when this so called community began to form. If it bothers you what I write then please read another blog.

I need to add one more thing before I end this post. I never threatened this person unless the individual is afraid of her own narrative and in the email I told her that and she has my permission to post everything she knows about me because I really have little to hide other than my current identity.

Liz

To be confused or not to be confused that is the question

For those that have not figured it out I love Shakespeare thus the play on words.

I received an email from someone I have not heard from in a very long time the other day.  It came out of the blue really. We communicated for  while and actually talked on the phone and I cannot remember if she disappeared before or after I had my own major medical scare but I believe it was during it in the 2004-5 time frame.  No big deal but I am a very cautious person and rarely give out enough information for anyone to know everything about me that could give my id away and certainly told her just minimal parts of my past and actually almost nothing of my situation at the time not that she was really interested.

She knew I had interest in helping kids that are transsexual and similar to me and she is an activist in England for transsexual children rights so she is to be commended for that. I gather she has been reading the blog and had worries which are not her concern but mine.

I found the comment baffling to be honest because this is confusing when you are a child and there is no information available and you honestly have no idea what is wrong but you know you are a girl. Now I know from personal experience there are not a whole lot of kids like this based on numbers Harry mentioned in multiple letters. The numbers are debatable according to some but intense child transsexuals are almost always type VI and they may come forward and they may not as we all know but in my time in the 1950's before I met Benjamin it was difficult because there was no information. Heck it is not that easy today for any kid with gender issues of any kind and I find it disturbing that some bureaucratic idiot does not realize kids are both scared and confused by this until they get help.

I do not believe I have emphasized confusion on my blog but if I have it is directly related to lack of available information and the confusion the Medical Profession deliberately threw at me as a child from Psychiatrists that said "you are not a girl and will be a transvestite or sexual deviant or worse" to a surgeon when I was 11 that deliberately scarred my arm when it was totally unnecessary and said "you will not be a bathing beauty now will you" after my grandmother put him up to it. Confusion was primarily because the Medical Community in my time was ill equipped to handle a kid like me so many kids in my era internalized it and buried it inside because they feared what could happen to them.

After I met Benjamin the confusion went away except who hasn't asked why was I born this way? That is very confusing to a kid who just wants to be normal. I was never and I repeat never confused about whether I was a girl because I always believed I was a girl and not even severe trauma changed that and I mean trauma where they tried to make me think I was not a girl which I have never written about but probably will have to now. They did things to me in a hospital that is so infamous in Massachusetts Psychiatric lore they closed it down and conveniently lost all the records because I tried to get them and they disappeared.

In my opinion if there is not some confusion then the child is probably not truthful or mommy and/or daddy have coached him well. In order to push this as a child the pain and intensity needs to be high but that does not mean every kid is transsexual. If the child tells you they are a girl trapped in a boys body then they have been coached.  If they simply say "I am a girl then be worried because the child needs help now. This is my opinion only and based on some friends and now 9 children 1 have been involved with from early ages that a friend and I have shepherded through this nightmare to young women and hopefully successful lives.

Just as a warning not one of the 12+ kids and adults that had this intense gender confusion ever demanded to be allowed to dress as girls at the age of 5 and had a tantrum because we were not allowed to.  Now this may piss people off but that is my experience and only my experience and may be different today but all of us had severe issues starting around 10 and got worse as puberty approached. Some of us got help before testosterone damage and some did not.  Hopefully today the policy is to not let that happen.

I know they put MTF and FTM kids on blockers but I know for me personally watching my body grow as a girls body should develop was soothing and wonderful.  Waiting to 16 is too old which is the current policy but again this is my opinion.

In conclusion I have heard about this issue with the NHS before where they expect the patient to be calm, cool, and dedicated but they do not understand children. They are thinking of late transitioners.  If you find a kid that is cool, calm, and dedicated you better check again because this is emotional, frightening,

Redneck fishing to back up a dubious position

One of the interesting things about my move to the Southeastern part of the United States is I have become reacquainted with the redneck section of the human species. My first experiences with rednecks came during the civil rights era of the 60's when a lot of us, even scared me, got involved and my University was not that long of a drive to Alabama and the heart of the debate so we went in numbers and protested and marched.

The funny thing was most of the rednecks were not that bad just highly misinformed. Most rednecks were just slightly better off than the black Americans they had been conditioned to hate and were the other side of cheap labor in the South which made the rich purveyors of the hatred even richer. It was no accident many of the leaders of the KKK were businessmen,  landowners, and farmers in need of cheap labor for higher profit. It is more complex than this simple explanation but this was a major part of it.

I am in a nice ethnically diverse middle class neighborhood down here in NASCAR Country and I have a good old boy redneck living next to me. His wife and I have become good friends and they had a BBQ late in the summer with my favorites and I commented the fish tasted very fresh and Larry, not the Cable Guy, said he had caught all the fish that very morning and I was suitably impressed because there was a lot of fish for the 20 odd neighbors that attended the BBQ.

I told his wife her husband must be one hell of a fisherman and she told me he couldn't use a fishing pole to save his life.  She said he goes redneck fishing and she takes me to the freezer in the garage and pulls out several sticks of dynamite and proceeds to tell me they go to the stream in a couple of boats and throw dynamite into the water with waterproof fuses and the explosion stuns or kills the fish and I learned about redneck fishing and I am not going near that freezer. Not that I ever have fished much but that would seem to take the artistry or skill out of the concept of fishing.

There are many activists that seem to follow a similar pattern when defending their positions only it is  fishing for facts to back a particular position. They throw spurious arguments and comments into their posts few of which are based in fact and if per chance they are called on it, assuming they allow themselves to be called on it, they just throw more dynamite into the process in the form of bullshit and hope they can confuse the issue even more or stun the readers and hopefully kill off the opponents in the process. This could be called the excessive bullshit defense also.

They even confuse themselves with this defense and might seem to switch opinions in the middle of a post or more often in the very next blog. They will then of course turn to deflecting the criticism by moving on to a different stick of dynamite.

Right about now I really don't have a side in this debate. I might have originally but after reading about others on here I may not understand some things but I cannot hate someone because they are different from me but I do have some opinions I will defend.  Now I realize the self-appointed power activists like Aria will take offense to my critiques of her and I do admit she really pisses me off at times but there are just times she confuses her flawed logic with being factual because she says it is so so it is so and there is no question I can do the same but I will try and correct my ignorance while she just throws more dynamite trying to hide hers behind the noise, smoke, and the bullshit she spews.

Now I can be pig-headed when I have an opinion and someone dismisses it with the dynamite or bullshit response because I want proof I am wrong if I am wrong. I believe as Benjamin believed that this is something inborn in us and that we truly are girls which Aria believes also except Aria wants to only let her kind of girls join the group. It is quite a simple concept actually when one looks at it logically. Our brains are wired female but our body has a birth defect. Benjamin and even Freud believed that.  Yes even Sigmund Freud thought we were born this way when he discussed it with Benjamin at a meeting in the 30's.

My opinion is quite simple. Since it is inborn in us then gender and sexual orientation are mutually exclusive and not linked but once awareness of one's sexual orientation arrives they must work in some form of harmony whether others believe it or not because we are sexual beings for the most part.  Now this can take the form of heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

The other opinion I have is that the intensity of the gender discomfort based on the birth defect is not the same in everyone but in a transsexual it will eventually reach the point where the transsexual decides enough is enough and deals with it. The intensity or gender discomfort grows over time because we evolve and when children we have little idea about the vagaries of gender, sexual orientation, and whatever. We are children and we are confused by this discomfort but we are still children and parents and society can push us into doing stupid things to survive.

Depending on what happens as a child many can repress the issue which in my opinion is horrific for those individual children but at some point the gender discomfort or the transsexual condition will force itself to the front while it simmers painfully in their everyday life. Some say it doesn't but some are better at supressing it maybe because they were forced to internalize it.

For some the intensity of the discomfort prevents them from caving in to the pressures to be a good boy if you are MTF but all of us tried to fit in and that includes me. Some have other conditions that make it tough to fit in and maybe we were intersex but I certainly did not ask to be born both transsexual and with hormonal issues although the low testosterone was a benefit eventually it was not a benefit when you are a confused preteen or teenager.

For anyone to imply intensity is bullshit like Aria does falls flat on its face based simply on the facts and those facts sit in the diversity of this blog world and the totally different narratives everyone has and all the different time-frames when intensity forced the issue. Most of the really late transitioners come from my era because information and help were not available. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to live with that daily pain when you realize everything is a lie but they survived but some are scarred for life by it and the human brain is amazing in its ability to carry on.

I cannot pretend to understand how a MTF transsexual can marry a woman and have children but Benjamin believed it was possible and he saw many instances of it during his clinical research into transsexualism and I have several friends that have and it is nothing to be ashamed of but what does irritate me is because I liked boys and was transsexual I am or was somehow gay which is Aria's position. I did not live the other side of this so I am no expert on it although I think I understand it better now than I ever have.

My comments about her latest post were met with the expected response but one of comments illustrates the dynamite or bullshit defense she uses perfectly. She was asked several questions about what she said about me earlier, which I appreciate, and she answered none of them but used the dynamite approach to move in another direction.

She went on a rant against the Sexologist "experts"  and then equated them with slurs against gays and lesbians. 

The vast majority of these sexologist “experts” need to get the message that the younger generations do not consider gay or lesbian as a slur to be hurled. Most of the under 40 crowd has no problem with people’s sexual orientation and didn’t experience the level of shame or the social ostracization that older people had to endure.

As a result the younger generations generally do not have the same issues with sexuality. So the situation becomes very clear when someone is trying to shame and control others using their orientation as an insult. This is something that I have observed over and over, as I said. And it always comes from people who share that sexologist viewpoint that people need to sorted into bins based on sexual orientation. This is not acceptable.

Those people who want to “study” young gay boys need to find something else to do. The never got the message that being gay or lesbian is not pathological. Homosexuality was removed from the DSM almost 40 years ago, but go to the “Kurt Freund” lab and you’d never know it.

For what purpose do these people do “research” on gay/lesbian children and adolescents? This whole thing stinks to high heaven, and anyone who buys into that horrible garbage needs to be seriously questioned because that is an extremist minority viewpoint that should be extinct.

Excuse me but aren't you the one throwing around the terms "gay transsexual" and demeaning children that were effeminate as nothing more than "gay boys" and aren't you the one using "prehomosexual" which might be the most offensive word I can think of? You have continually pointed to these  studies of effeminate or feminine boys to propose your belief even those kids that are transsexual are really just gay boys. You have even used Person-Ovesey and their study to justify your preeminence as a "primary" transsexual or is it the only "true" kind of transsexual.

You are the "Chicken Little" of the transsexual world screaming the gays are coming to dethrone my womanhood or it is a transgender conspiracy against Aria. Transgenders are gay which is your favorite comment or at least one you bandy about and how is that not homophobic.  The very phrase is homophobic as you are even though you bite your tongue because many of your followers are lesbian.

Aria Blue says:

December 1, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Lol, what’s Liz’s problem now? I stopped taking that person seriously after the series of gaffes they made with their story on the blog awhile back.

Not that I ever really took them very seriously in the first place. I don’t think whoever they are is very bright. They certainly can’t follow an argument or train of thought.

When questioned about the gaffes:

I’m not going to go into the gaffes, I’ll let the author of that blog try to figure it out. I do find it encouraging that the sexual-orientation-hierarchy crowd has retreated to Benjamin and his “psycho-sexual inversion” terminology. This is some real progress. We’re one step from doing away with this nonsense once and for all.

 I am certainly not immune to making gaffes but this is another example of the dynamite defense ass she fires the Benjamin comment and I am afraid it is Aria that has issues with following her own argument and if she has a train of thought it is scattershot at best and is based entirely in her paranoia.

For clarity, my goal is to narrow the definition of “transsexual” to a single birth condition just like “Klinefelter’s”, or any of the other congenital intersex phenomena. I want to see “transsexual” narrowly construed so that only those born with that specific condition appear as TS in the medical literature. The wide application of “transsexual” to anyone who is “gender variant” or happens to pay for a sex change has done nothing but harm to everyone involved and created fodder for the sexologists. That’s why they keep it going.

I would like transsexualism to be defined as an intersex condition but I just don't want someone like you holding the reigns defining who qualifies.


I have actually never read anywhere where anyone that is gender variant was described as transsexual.  I have read them described as transgender which under its umbrella does include gender variant individuals.  I guess it may happen but nobody in the "real" world gives a shit about that.

I find it funny that someone would call me hysterical for pointing out widely known facts, and adding my own observations to them. That is another thing the sexologist “operatives” like to do. People like Hontas Farmer and others have been (crudely) employing that technique for years and it gets less effective each time.

In fact her sight listed as the Fact site is interesting but is in reality a site that would provide counter opinions to some of Aria's rants so I gather she only rad what supported her view.  Myopic but expected. Hontas Farmer is a tool if it even exists and yes you are hysterical and that is not hysterically funny but "Chicken Little" hysterical.       

At this point it should be pretty obvious to anyone born ts who Liz is, based on our own experiences. I’m not going to waste any more time with someone who is so arrogant and condescending that they would call Lisa and I “animals” in the title of a post.

Wow coming from the person absolutely nobody knows anything about that is quite a comment. I guess I must have made up my Benjamin appointment card and the other items. Just who am I then??


It was a metaphor you nitwit and I was not calling you or lisa animals primarily because it might insult the animals of the world. (That was a joke by the way)

Nobody who went through what we did would look down their long nose at other women with that kind of a superiority complex. We’re dealing with someone who seriously thinks they are better than the rest of us. That’s one of those things to look for when you sniff out these fakes too; they just can’t help it because they have their own psychological issues, usually sociopathy. That’s why they weasel their way into areas where they can have power over vulnerable people. It’s sickening.

 Wow here we go with some more dynamite in the water. Again anyone that reads this blog knows I do not consider myself better than anyone. I am not the asshole trying to set up an exclusive transsexual club for me and my friends like you are where you choose who is transsexual because you are the "expert". That is just so typical of you.  Poor Aria the martyr who fights the good fight against the evil doers that are trying to claim her womanhood like if she really was a woman that is possible.

so·ci·o·path

   /ˈsoʊsiəˌpæθ, ˈsoʊʃi-/ Show Spelled[soh-see-uh-path, soh-shee-] Show IPA

–noun Psychiatry .

a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

I think that fits you better than anyone I have met online.

I find it amusing you consider me a fake when I have been far more open about myself than you have and have provided relevant documentation but then this is the main arsenal in your weaponry against dissent. Accuse them of being frauds. Somehow try to link them to someone like a Hontas Farmer and hope it sticks. Even for someone like you that is quite pathetic.

If you would like Aria I could provide my profile of you. The only possibility of a fraud in this conversation is you Aria and the only chance of a fake  is you Aria. In my mind it always comes down to who you really are which is a mystery. People can see who I am or was but nobody has a clue who you are.

Sometimes you need to poke the animals

Blog post note #1
******************************************
Aria seems to feel it was an insult to use the term animals which was not aimed at her but an attempt at a bit of wry humor because the phrase Do not poke the xxxx or Don't poke the xxxx implies if you aggravate me you will be sorry or get hurt. I did think animals was a better metaphor but I could redo the title as
Sometimes you need to poke the transsexual but that seemed a little nasty.

Sometimes you just cannot please everyone.
*********************************************

I have been thinking quite a lot about the transsexual narrative lately. A lot of this may be because of my issue with a certain person or the issue she has with me is more to the point. I guess if there was a narrative it started with people like Christine Jorgensen and her story but I am afraid the narrative everyone complains about or talks about or discusses the most often is the narrative of kids like I was or the feminine boy syndrome which has caused a great deal of controversy in and out of the medical profession.

The normal narrative I hear so many   repeat is I knew I was a girl early on, I told everyone, I was feminine, I liked boys, and so forth with individuals diverging off the path at some point. There is never any real definition of how or why one is that way and to be honest too many claim it because it is convenient and will get you help regardless of the age help is sought at. The truth is it is just not that simple and there are many reasons for it but first I will describe me and then discuss what I think really happens in many in my opinion based on just my experiences.

I remember telling grandfather I was a girl when he told me "be a good little boy and get him his pen" as we sat together preparing for him to do the New York Times crossword puzzle in ink while he pretended I actually helped. I remember telling him "but I am a girl" and I have absolutely no idea why I said it other than I believed i was a girl.  There is no reason for this to happen and as a bright child after I was sat down by my grandfather I knew physically I was not a girl but then it isn't physical is it.

There were no girl toys in my house with two brothers and the only girl child in the neighborhood was Roberta who lived several houses down and was 1 year older than me. Even after my parents knew I never faced any issues because I didn't push things because my mom contracted paralytic polio and I was distraught over that but I remember asking my mom when she got home why I could not dress like other girls.  I did identify more with Roberta than boys and by 6 physically I was very different from my brothers.  They were stocky and strong like my dad and I was thin and consistently mistaken for my mom's daughter if we were out together.

In my mom's letters to Harry early on in the October-November time-frame in 1958 she asked Harry why her son thought he was a girl and Harry used the word angeboren which in German means it is inborn based on my translation. All I remember is I had no idea why I felt that way but I knew I was a girl and I wanted to be a girl which is why mom took me to the first Psychiatrist. I was not running around screaming like a little brat that I needed to live as a girl and I certainly was not cross-dressing at such an early age unless it was when I played house with Roberta and I always wanted to be her little sister.  Go figure!

It was getting caught by Roberta's father that triggered the Psychiatrist adventures that would begin my attempts at suicide which were not because I wasn't allowed to be a girl but I was terrified of being what they said I would be which was at times very unflattering and being told you are crazy by a Psychiatrist is scary for a very confused 8 year old kid even one as bright as I was. I was just so totally confused it seemed hopeless because there was nobody to help me. In all honesty I was so confused by it all at times I was in a daze but I was kind of shy and reserved out of fear they would stick me in some mental hospital as was threatened by several Psychiatrists.

The gender discomfort began to get more intense as I approached my tenth birthday. Lots of boys are pretty at a young age but they change over time and become boy pretty if that makes sense but that didn't happen for me and I was 2-3 years younger than everyone in school and the bullying began because I was tall for my age even at 10 and boys were learning they liked girls and boys started mistaking me for a girl which I actually liked. It was around 10 that I simply asked my mother why I just couldn't be a girl which I am sure confused her.  My suicide attempts up until then were because Psychiatrist's said I was crazy and would remain a boy and grow into a man and I better get use to it along with some very vile names and physically I was not developing like most boys and certainly not like my two brothers.

I think the concept of intensity is not discussed enough when discussing us. I have no idea how to categorize it but Harry made an initial attempt with his three categories of  transsexuals but the key point is intensity changes over time. In my case the intensity grew over time because when you are 4 or 5 what the heck did I know about my condition. I thought I was a girl and over time the Gender discomfort became worse. It grew more intense and I don't know why but it did. I became more uncomfortable in my own skin which is a weird thing to say but from 10-12 I know my mom would tell you I cried an awful lot about it and begged her to let me be a girl. My mom never put me down during this time although I know she wanted to "cure" me.

I was very confused and really hurting. There were weird moments like when our neighbor gave birth to a son and I got to hold him and I remember telling my mom "he is so beautiful" and I didn't want to let him go. It was around this time I began to do some cross-dressing because I was practicing for when I became a girl but it was not extensive.

There is no such thing as a gay 10 year old because quite simply the number of ten year old's that are sexually aware and aware of their sexual preference so will these loons that call young kids please stop calling effeminate or feminine boys homosexuals or gay. Not until puberty kicks in does any human became homosexual, heterosexual, or bi-sexual and puberty kicks in sometime between 10-14. Because someone is feminine or effeminate does not make them gay at any time from birth to puberty and there is no such thing as pre-homosexual.

After my 12th birthday is when life took a big turn but first a short discussion on the MTF transsexual condition. If being MTF is a birth defect and a MTF is really a girl and an FTM is really a boy is where many including Aria and her flock lose credibility in their myopic beliefs. When puberty is reached the vast majority of girls like boys and the vast majority of boys like girls. Making the claim that a MTF transsexual who likes boys is gay falls apart based simply on the premise that transsexualism is inborn.  In point of fact if a MTF likes girls it is they that are gay or lesbian.  Any other premise falls apart unless this is NOT a birth condition. If gender is between the ears then a MTF transsexual regardless of how hard they repress their transsexualism should like boys or certainly be predisposed to liking boys based simply on the percentages. I agree this is a simplistic view but it is more based in fact than someone I will talk about later.

I realized after my 12th birthday I was attracted to boys and it was decidedly scary. I was not gay because my gender was female so liking a boy was normal for me but I was constantly bullied because of appearance and a natural inclination towards being feminine because I really was a girl. Personally I never tried to attract boys out of fear but when a boy broke down my defenses I certainly did not push him away.  He actually saved my life both emotionally and prevented a suicide attempt.

I had never thought once about sex or sexual preference before I was 12 and had a similar attitude towards boys that most genetic girls have.  They were icky and too rough and so forth. That changed and it was scary realizing boys were cute and I went to my mom and this was eventually what scared her into writing to Harry but it did make her decide to take me to Children's Hospital in Boston where the low testosterone level was discovered and a slightly elevated estrogen levels were found for whatever that is worth.

It is very simple.  You cannot have it both ways.  If being transsexual means we are born this way so our gender is predefined, I believe this, then since a MTF is the female gender liking boys is 100% normal. Why am I writing about this? Well we now get to the point of the post.

In  Aria's   latest blog post she says being transsexual has nothing to do with being gay which is 100% correct but per usual Aria is off-base. I would hope that Aria would answer a question but we all know the Queen of Hysteria never answers questions and we are to believe her because she is Aria and yes I am poking the paranoid animal in this case.

Aria has this paranoid belief that somehow people are trying to replace "true" transsexuals, which of course she belongs to, with gay transsexuals.  There is where her argument goes down the toilet to be blunt because there is no such thing as a gay transsexual unless said MTF or FTM transsexual as an awareness of sexual preference and it is the same gender they identify with.

The following paragraphs are contradictory.

When I pointed out that transsexual children (reproductively male) are not effeminate, I had a specific purpose in mind.  While it is true that these children displayed little outward sign of the true problem, that is because by that point the window of opportunity for observing them had passed.  There is no data at all on true ts children prior to this wall of silence.  At the point the child is being put to the question by a cold, authoritative figure, the child has withdrawn from the world and you will gain no insight into them whatsoever.  You other TS people will understand why this is so.  Others can just guess.


By 7-10 years of age the transsexual individual has long passed the stage where their self-knowledge can be expressed freely; the real world has come crashing in and the bleakness of their fate is clear.  Whether its the admonitions of their parents or the evidence of their own eyes, these kids are all too aware of reality.  Transsexual kids have a physical birth defect; that doesn’t mean they are crazy.

First off there is absolutely not one single reputable study that supports her premise that all transsexual children are not effeminate.  Aria knows this how?? There is data on this fact and she herself supplied it in the Person-Ovesey study which even if it is flawed it did point out that of the 10 effeminate/feminine children 5 were truly transsexual.  Now Aria cannot have it both ways since she firmly believes the "primary" transsexual defined by Person-Ovesey is who she is and has made frequent claims that it was the effort to change this definition of "primary" was done to rob her specifically of her position as a primary transsexual.

The last line in the second paragraph blows her entire premise coldly out of the water. If it is a physical birth defect sweetie then you better like boys or you are a lesbian which is fine but it does not make you better than anyone else which is your main claim per usual. For someone that has consistently claimed they believe some want a hierarchy or believe in elitism you sure seem hell bent on setting yourself up as "the elite".

I am guessing here but I am betting this is really Aria's narrative we are reading here. Since it is her narrative it is of course the only real narrative.  I do agree transsexualism initially has nothing to do with sexual orientation as she states but since a transsexual identifies with a different gender than their birth gender sexual preference will play a part since by nature humans are a sexual species. 

So while the “effeminate” young boy (pre-homosexual) is expressing himself freely with gender play and his open mannerisms, such things are clearly forbidden to the transsexual child and serve only as a reminder of the horror that awaits them later in life.  As time goes on, dreams are dashed before they were dreamt, and the future descends into a dark cloud of sadness.  The affectations of gender as social play are meaningless to the TS child.  And this is where you can draw clear distinction between the young pre-homosexual and the TS child.

This is a typical Aria generalization presented as fact but I do believe it is a look into who Aria was and unfortunately still is. Every child is different as every life is different as every transsexual child is different as every human is different.  There is no one narrative that fits everyone whether they be normal or transsexual yet Aria wants one narrative because it is her narrative. It is no different than me trying to push my narrative on everyone else as the only narrative.  It would be both myopic and totally wrong as is Aria's. To claim that there is no such thing as an effeminate or feminine transsexual is not different than one claiming the only transsexuals are effeminate or feminine. It is total rubbish and there is absolutely not one iota of factual proof she is correct other than her constant rants about it which begin to sound more like the paranoid musings of someone who has never come to grips with who or what they were or are.

Aria uses the simple fact she internalized her transsexualism probably out of parental fear as her basis for this mantra she and her followers profess to be the only narrative for transsexualism. 

I read with some amusement the writing of people who claim they were just so effeminate that they couldn’t help themselves.  They couldn’t stop themselves from making out with boys when they hit puberty, and the reason they want a sex change (or in some cases already had one supposedly) was because they need to have sex with straight men.  Sorry to inform you, that’s just called being gay.

Aria is really hung up on this issue but again she uses a generalization as fact. I am not sure if this is a shot at me but it could be but believe me I was attracted to boys but the one boy that broke down my wall of fear used a battering ram and any MTF transsexual that likes boy is not gay they are heterosexual but then you are confused about a lot of things.

This begs the question of what did Aria do when she reached puberty? Was she so pure of heart she was asexual and avoided contact with both genders or had she so buried her "femaleness" that she dated and screwed girls to prove her manliness to others which I must assume is part of the mantra or did she just masturbate in a dress but wait a second if I remember correctly she didn't ever cross-dress or feel like a girl after she managed to push it deep into the nether reaches of her mind.

There is a clear difference between the super-chiasmic nucleus of gay men and transsexual women.

There is a clear difference between the INAH-3 area of gay men and transsexual women.

There is a clear different between the BSTc of gay men, and transsexual women.

So how is this relevant for someone that happened to be what you described as a feminine/effeminate transsexual?? Do you have proof in here that the Type VI Benjamin transsexual does not fit as part of the transsexual women?  Of course you do not. There is no correlation between your claim and the results of these relatively limited studies but I guess if you scream it loud enough the fools that believe in you will fall into line and genuflect but simply posting it does not make it true. In my opinion you are full of shit on this subject like you have been since day one.  You have your myopic beliefs and everything has to fit into that world.
  

Thinking back to the lives of children, what would you expect from a little girl once she realizes something is very wrong?  Would you expect her to go blithely about her life, knowing that she is horribly deformed, with no ill effect whatsoever?  Knowing that everyone has labeled her wrong, would she then stupidly proceed to act out “effeminately” and chase boys as if nothing is wrong?  Of course not.  It’s the basic definition of the condition itself.  And that lack of self-knowledge would be a sign of delusion, not transsexualism.

I actually would expect every child to react differently based on their environment, parents, and how intense the need to be a girl is or became over time. I am not sure where the chase boys part comes in because honestly I have never known a young transsexual that ever chased boys and I have certainly known many more intense child transsexuals than you have.  This includes children that were both effeminate, feminine, and neither but all were intensely transsexual as children.  Not a single one of them ever "chased" boys and I would suggest you check whose narratives you listen to but then generalization and using your own perceived stereotypes is what you are best at.

Transsexualism is not defined by sexual orientation no matter what some people would have you believe.  When someone tries to make you feel “less than” because of who you love, treat that person as you would any random stranger started talking down to you because of your sexuality.  Don’t give self-appointed trans “experts”, whom you don’t even know past the internet persona, the power to make you feel insecure about yourself simply because you don’t fit some ancient scale that has been misapplied in the first place.

I totally agree with this paragraph and would like to ask you why anyone should believe you since you are the very "trans  expert" you decry in this paragraph. Oh let me guess you are the one trans expert everyone can believe. Transsexualism by itself is not defined by sexual orientation but when humans reach puberty they do have a sexual awakening sometime in the time-frame after puberty begins. I gather we can all put you in the I was not interested in boys column which is fine because if you liked girls that is fine or even if you liked both.  By the way how old were you when you actually realized you needed to get off your ass and do something? Were you 25, 35, or older?

We should never use some ancient scale that Aria does not believe in because Aria has a better scale and it is the Aria scale which she conveniently fits so comfortably in and also allows her to deny access to her "privileged" and 'elitist" world of the Aria transsexual because after all Aria is a "true" and "primary" transsexual. Replace transsexual with asshole and you are closer to the truth.

There are transsexual men, and transsexual women.  There are transsexual gay men, and transsexual lesbian women.  There are transsexual men and women who are bisexual.  Being gay, or lesbian, or bisexual is not a pathology, and neither is it diagnostic of TS.  Sexuality has no bearing on TS whatsoever.

Being transsexual is clearly a gender condition and I agree is somehow related to a rewired brain that makes one female. The real question I have here is why are you using the term "transsexual women" etc. because I clearly remember you taking apart someone on your blog Aria that used that term. I guess it is OK if Aria uses it because well Aria is the Queen of Hysteria about the attempt to destroy her life as a transsexual woman or was it a woman? You switch terms and wordage so often I do find it interesting you cannot keep a consistent choice of words. Sexual preference is as much a part of being a human as the perception of one's gender. They are interwoven because once puberty is reached we do change. The majority of girls like boys with a small minority liking girls and most boys like girls with a small minority liking boys.

It is who we are as a species and you may want to deny it but it is a simple fact of life and transsexuals are absolutely NOT immune to it. It is totally illogical to believe that someone who is wired as a girl would not have similar feelings for boys regardless of whether they are effeminate boys or macho pseudo alpha male athletes. You are who you think you are in your brain but you seem to want it only on your terms.  I am betting you liked girls and are embarrassed by it but you should not be but then I am guessing because other than your paranoia nobody has a clue if you are really transsexual or still in transition or even possibly post.  We have only your word for it and after all you did tell us not to listen to anyone you are not sure is or was born transsexual.  Your words not mine.

There is only one kind of TS.  It is a birth condition that has specific characteristics.  It is not defined by sexuality, but by the sexually dimorphic brain.  Reject attempts to categorize you by your orientation.  Don’t let these people split us up.  They have succeeded at the divide and conquer strategy far too long.

I agree with this paragraph so why are you trying to categorize some kids as gay, pre-homosexual, and all the other bullshit you put out there? Split up who exactly Aria. You are the one providing the categorization and demanding that everyone fits under the umbrella you define as transsexual. Whether one is a heterosexual or homosexual transsexual is not relevant after puberty but it is part of who people are as much as it is after surgery.

I do have questions for you but I know they will never be answered.

1. How old were you when you realized you were transsexual or had gender discomfort?
2. How old were you when you realized you needed to get off your ass and do something?
3. How old were you when you transitioned?
4. Have you had surgery and if so how many years post-op are you?
5. Why are you so obsessed with young transsexuals and why do you feel you must discredit their existence if they were feminine or effeminate?

I do need to say something about a comment on this post on Aria's blog.

lisalee18wheeler says:

November 30, 2010 at 6:50 pm

My two cents, and I know it’s going to be unpopular, is that all these first gen transitioners are leaving something out, or distorting the truth entirely. And as nice a man as Harry Benjamin was, he was far from being a humanitarian.
Take the red pill…

She has a blog called The View from Nine feet up  and drives a truck which is kind of cool.  She provides a nice picture of herself in front of a beautiful Freightliner  tractor on the bottom of the above link.

 It is quite obvious lisalee does not understand what a Humanitarian is:

Definition of HUMANITARIAN

: a person promoting human welfare and social reform :

By its very definition Dr. Benjamin was a humanitarian. I do realize this was a shot at me so Aria will post another "good girl" on your vapid blog but sorry I don't turn the other cheek. I do find this post hilarious considering we know absolutely NOTHING about your fearless leader Aria. Who is this mystery person? I would say I doubt she is even transsexual but I do remember Anonymous T Girl posting something about going out with her on a date with her boyfriend and Aria's boyfriend so I give her the benefit there. But we still know nothing about your leader other than she is paranoid.

Dr. Spack at Children's in Boston is treating many kids like I was but like I have said before being an effeminate boy does not make one transsexual in the same way that being an effeminate boy transsexual does not make the boy not transsexual and gay.

I would have to enshrine Aria as the Queen of the Fellowship of the Miserable because I have never read anyone so upset with everyone and so paranoid about things there is no proof of. Please provide me with proof the Medical establishment is trying to replace transsexuals with gay anything.

The definition of Paranoia taken from Wikipedia:



Paranoia is a thought process heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and/or delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs concerning a perceived threat towards oneself. Historically, this characterization was used to describe any delusional state.

I think that definition accurately describes Aria.

Every single one of us born transsexual is an individual.  Any attempt to jam us all under one single definition for transsexual is wrong. Transsexuals are as diverse as people not born transsexual. By definition that means if we identify as female the spectrum of sexual preferences would be similar to genetic women. Nobody is any less or more transsexual because I do agree you either are or you are not but at the point that realization occurs the natural divergence we humans experience in our lives takes over.  In other words life is random and arbitrary and trying to push a set of rules defined by some lay person like Aria on others is such bullshit she should provide wading boots at times.

Are there crazy people on the fringes?  There certainly are and Aria is one of them. She is trying to force her paranoid delusions on others because in her mind she is persecuted because she believes everyone is after her and she is correct and everyone else is wrong.  If only life was that simple for all of us!!