Lawrence, Bailey, and Blanchard or Now You Have Really Pissed Me Off

The first thing you need to understand about Dr. Anne Lawrence and lord it really hurts to use the term doctor for this quack, almost as much as it hurts to say Dr. Blanchard. The second thing you need to know about Lawrence is that Lawrence is not really happy as Anne and since her SRS she has attempted to destroy an vestige of common sense left in the transsexual medical hierarchy along with her pal Mr Aversion Therapy Blanchard and the discredited Andrew Bailey.

In her rarely read self diagnostic musing called Men Trapped In Men's Bodies: Narratives of Autogynephilic Transsexualism and in Bailey's The Man Who Would Be Queen: The Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism their basic line of lunacy is based initially on the research of Dr. Ethel Person and Dr. Lionel Ovesey and their early work including Psychoanalytic Theories of Gender Identity. The noted dipshit Anne Vitale PhD (sic) mentions it in Notes on Gender Role Transition which attempts to deny the differences in those born transsexual by claiming we are all the same which is as big a pile of cow manure as are all of the above items.

I made the mistake of venturing to this blog where an excerpt from Lawrence's book can be found and one paragraph in particular bothers me. This is not a reflection on the blog itself.

And homosexual transsexuals are not exactly devoid of sexual motivations themselves. Colleagues who have spent a lot of time interviewing homosexual transsexuals tell me that they can best be thought of as very effeminate gay men who do not defeminize in adolescence. Nearly all go through a "gay boy" period; and their decisions about whether or not to transition are often based in large part on whether they expect to be sufficiently passable in female role to attract (straight) male partners. Those who conclude they will not pass usually do not transition, no matter how feminine their behavior may be. Instead they accept, perhaps grudgingly, a gay male identity, and remain within the gay male culture, where they can realistically expect to find interested partners. This self-selection process explains the intriguing observation that transitioning homosexual transsexuals tend to be physically smaller and lighter than their autogynephilic sisters. (6) The bottom line is that in homosexual transsexuality, too, a sexual calculus is often at work. Transsexualism is largely about sex -- no matter what kind of transsexual one is.

As someone who has been involved in many a research project and who has been on several accident boards investigating certain catastrophic events the only thing that came to mind when reading that paragraph was "junk science" and I am being kind. This is how the term transsexual was de-legitimized over the years but that is only part of what irritates me. She makes her assumptions about kids like me and others based on hearsay testimony from others and more important it is highly inaccurate if not downright false. Not only that, it is derogatory to those that are actually born gay.

Is or was sex part of what makes one a high intensity transsexual? It certainly is but it is no more important to us than it is to other teenage girls. It is simply a part of being a normal teenage girl. To label us as gay or homosexual, while claiming it is only for biology, is both deliberate and meant to harm. I have never known a child transsexual that "accepts" a gay mentality because quite bluntly no child transsexual is gay. Are their effeminate boys that are going to turn out gay? Absolutely, but that is their life and has absolutely no correlation to being transsexual.

What Lawrence and the idiots she promotes and follows do is completely disregard the first 12-14 years of a child transsexuals life.  They seem to discount it as stereotypical "gay" behavior which is again based on anecdotal evidence by Lawrence. It would be akin to me making a decision on an accident board based on the observations of someone in Seattle about the plane crash in Florida because he heard from his pal Karl ,who heard from his girlfriend Sally,that her friend Pete knew it was pilot error. It is all bullshit.

Is what Lawrence writes abject stupidity or ignorance? No, it is both deliberate and harmful and meant to be so. It trivializes what it means to be born transsexual and it does this to those they classify as homosexual transsexuals and those they define as autogynephilic. Personally if anyone had touched my male parts before I had my SRS I do not believe I would have survived. One could ask the question why they believe all transsexualism is related to sex? The answer is simple Freud and the deliberate attempt to prove we are mentally ill.

Good old cocaine sniffing, mother obsessed, and penis obsessed Sigmund Freud is your answer. In Freud's world everything revolved around sex which is humorous considering his own life but that aside this foundation of Psychoanalysis, which is how this is all based, is so full of wholes it makes Swiss Cheese appear to not have holes. Lawrence has no degrees in Psychiatry, not that I value those highly, nor is she qualified to write about any of this unless you consider her somewhat dubious gender clinic as a qualification. I do not but then that is me. I pity anyone that goes to that snake for help.

I was part of the original Person-Ovesey study that resulted in a 1976 paper and a longer set of theories later about what transsexualism is. In a moment of pure irony they conveniently ignore Freud himself who concluded, to Harry Benjamin personally, that it was highly likely to be biologic in nature. That aside, the entire works of these Psychoanalysts are based on junk science and fraudulent manipulation of what they were told. I know this because I was a patient of Dr. Person, as were my two closest friends. 

We three were part of the "homosexual" group and our stories were manipulated and altered to fit the theory because they ignored what we said or conveniently omitted or forgot what was said. Our attraction to boys was not as boys but as girls. Our need to be a girl was not based on sex but on the very core of our being. I knew I was wrong and I mean physically wrong. Personally, I was denied any feminine toys or activities and the few I managed to get into resulted in chaos. I needed to be a girl a long time before I realized boys were extremely cute.

Much of their bullshit is based on the stereotypical views of men about what boys and girls should play with and what work and positions women should or could obtain in life. It is what infuriates feminists throughout the world and they tried to apply it to we children born transsexual. They also have applied it to later transitioners without admitting the circumstances that can force some not to transition or to limit the chances until they are older. They take the word of a fraud like John Money and discount the pain and suffering of those born transsexual regardless of age.

Are some of the later transitioners autogynephilic ,as described by these loons? Yes, but that oversimplifies a complicated issue and denies the fact that many are not.  The problems these fools have with their junk science practices and invalid arguments is quite simple. In the world of science if it a theory does not cover all instances of a problem then it is a partial theory or a partial solution to a complex problem and therefore not a solution or the answer, but a hypothesis that may someday lead to the correct answer but is unfinished. They have nothing scientific to back up their collective nonsense.

Einstein's Theory of Relativity is actually made up of two theories which are General Relativity and Special Relativity which are based on scientific observation and mathematical formula. Psychoanalysis is not a science because it is inexact and not based on either scientific observation or scientific evidence. Even Lawrence admits Blanchard doctored the test subject criteria and even the composition of the subjects. That is junk science at its worst as is Psychiatry in some of its uses and in many of its theories. These dipshits claim to have cured serial pedophiles and serial rapists when they have not because they can be easily lied to. It is funny how little experience they have in discerning what is true and what is false. My Siberian Husky could have convinced them he was a MTF transsexual.

The comment by Lawrence that nearly all child transsexuals go through "gay boy" period is outrageous and unsubstantiated and then (s)he adds more bullshit by stating these gay boys then decide if they will transition based on whether they pass or not.  That one section trivializes everything that we go through as child transsexuals. It implies that somehow effeminate gay boys are just confused transsexuals which is exceeding homophobic and denies the very basic fact that those of us that are MTF child transsexuals "are" girls in our essence and again trivializes the day to day struggle we face to live and to somehow force others to recognize we are what we are telling them we are. It also denigrates women by implying that somehow girls are similar to gay boys because of play patterns and social structures. It completely ignores the simple fact child transsexuals and gay boys are denied access to those activities. It falsely implies that parents "simply" allow this to happen which is total and utter bullshit. It implies one is gay simply because one is a boy and they have presumed behavior patterns, none of which are ever evaluated.

This is an article on the results of how happy post operative transsexuals were and includes both male and female transsexuals. I found the read to be interesting because as a Researcher, albeit a technical one, results need to be compared for correct analysis of the underlying data. How can one compare happiness results for SRS patients and in particular MTF patients after surgery? My contention is one would need to compare the overall happiness of the group with those in the category they reside in. Basically compare levels of happiness with natal women and those of us that had MTF SRS. I am betting we compare well.

They of course do not and use pure Psychoanalytic tests which may or may not be accurate. Why did they not compare results with natal women that took the same tests. I have no empirical data but my assumptions are as worthy of consideration as there's because I think they would find we correlate closely except if the SRS was poorly done which should eliminate them from the study because that certainly clouds the individuals outlook on life.

When I entered University I was given all the psych tests they talk about that can sort of indicate the gender of someone or give an indication of said gender. Nobody was privy to the simple fact I was a patient of Harry Benjamin's and in fact was a boy. Dr. Benjamin asked for the tests to be up front. In fact they used a shortened version of my first name which can be male or female. I actually was sent back twice more by the doctor from the University Hospital so I took the tests three times with three separate sets of testers, Whether that was deliberate or not I do not know but when it was done we were called into the University Hospital and my original doctor had been called out of town and the doctor sitting there simply said to my mom, "I have no idea why they made your daughter take these tests three times because all the results say she is just a quite normal teenage girl", whereupon mom pointed to my full name on the folder jacket and flustered is a kind word for that Psychiatrist. In fact those tests led to the President of the University to simply ask why I just did not go to school as a girl, but I could not because my scholarship required me to fake being a boy as best I could. I know for a fact Dr. Person had those tests because I saw that folder in my folder. I guess that qualified me as "gay".

In Lawrence's book she uses subjects that fit her conditions to prove her thesis that sex was somehow part of the reason autogynephilic men get SRS or head that way.  Using a generalization to prove an overall truth is junk science unless of course you belong to the Blanchard wing of Nutjobs Incorporated. 

Before I even knew I liked boys I knew I had to be a girl so what has sex got to do with that? Somehow that simply gets overlooked. I had a boyfriend that accepted me as a girl and somehow that qualifies me as gay. I wanted sex with men but only if I was a girl but somehow that qualifies me as gay. The worst part was when I confronted one of them they told me that somehow my rape by my neighbor, I was 14 and starting hormones, somehow clearly indicated I was a gay transsexual. She had a copy of the Police report that claimed it was consensual despite the multiple skull fractures and 2 weeks in Intensive Care and another week in the hospital.

One of the reasons I was seeing her was Harry wanted me to get over that rape and recognize it was not my fault. Somehow getting a fractured skill and holes drilled in my head along with getting drilled in the ass by a rapist, still convinced he was a pedophile, qualifies as a "gay experience". I can assure everyone it was neither a gay event nor an experience because I remember none of it because I was unconscious. My last memory is being told that "I would learn what it meant to be a woman" which is somehow fitting in a rather sadistic way because men are still trying to tell me what it means to be a woman, like any man has a clue.

It trivializes and demeans those transsexuals that have gone through this nightmare and managed to finally obtain their SRS later in life. I seriously doubt "most"are getting SRS because it sexually arouses them but then some men are weird, but that weird? It again trivializes all the anguish anyone born transsexual lives with daily. 

Another claim is that it is somehow paraphilic to feel sexy when dressed up. It is somehow wrong to feel sexy when you look good or are dressed sexy. They should tell that to my natal girlfriends and most of the women I have known through my lifetime. I will never deny I like sex and have enjoyed it since SRS. I like most women do not have an orgasm every time I have sex but nonetheless it is still fulfilling to me because I enjoy not only the physical act but the foreplay and the time after sex. That is typical for all of my women friends. I even mastered the art of the fake orgasm so the men I was with would think they satisfied me. For some men that is important but for others it isn't what they care about. I usually ditched those guys quickly.

My reading on all of this is quite simple. These clowns do not understand transsexuals at all but ironically they understand women even less. The first time I had sex I was so tense I had no chance at an orgasm but that is typical for any virgin according to Enrique who had seduced me when he took my hand and kissed it with his accent and gorgeous Cuban looks. The second date, actually the first at dinner, I wanted him so badly it almost physically hurt. My first orgasm did not "rock my world" but it was still amazing. 

As a girl and as a woman sometimes you dress for your fellow women, to impress them, and sometimes you dress for the man you love or want to seduce or both. There is nothing paraphilic about it because it is part and parcel of the male-female mating tradition. It is part of the pure joy of simply being a girl or a woman. I learned men loved to see me both naked or while dressing or undressing and I liked to tease them that way and it thrilled me to watch their reaction. It is a power we women have and it is why some men stray to strip clubs. It is not paraphilic in any way.

If you read this drivel somehow a pre-op transsexual that feels sexy when she is dressed in her finest is somehow paraphilic in nature. I remember how I felt when that boy told me I looked amazing in Quebec. It is what most silly little girls dream of and it thrilled me because I pleased him. I started crying and he thought he had done something wrong when he had done something beyond wonderful. Yes, I know that is against feminist ideals but then again I know very few heterosexual girls or women that do not love to hear those words from a man. 

I was told, might have been Person, that my desires for sex were unusual and the implication was male, which escaped me, but most of the women I know with good sex lives are exactly like me. Those that have had bad sex experiences, usually with the hubby, will often say they just want it over so they can get back to doing something constructive. Kind of sad to be honest.

All this bullshit does something else even more insidious. What about the child transsexuals that realize they like girls but only if they are also a girl. It seems our lesbian sisters somehow do not fit the stereotype. I have a friend in England who was this way so where does she fit in this world? She was not a gay boy but a boy that knew she was a girl but lord forbid liked girls? Kind of busts the paradigm but then like most junk science that is never a problem. You get a few more quack Psychiatrists or doctors that think they are also shrinks to chime in and support you and ignore the screams from those that actually believe distinctive proof is needed. After all they know all and it is only the white noise of those that have not awakened such as they have.

In many ways it comes down to the Nature verses Nurture argument that was fallaciously put forth by Money in the case of the one twin boy he converted to a girl. He lied about the results and denied there was ever a problem until his pedophile ass ended up in hell where it belonged. The little boy died by his own hand after returning to his birth sex of male. John Money was a pedophile and he liked em young and I know from personal experience. A lot of this crap is based on Freud and Money which is kind of counterproductive.

I first met Money when I was a day or so short of my 14th birthday at a symposium set up for little old me because I gather I am or was an oddity for the day. Money was particularly nasty with me and claimed I was somehow nurtured by my mother and I was just a confused child and it was an ugly morning and ugly afternoon because kids like me were not that common then. Harry actually apologized because as hard as I tried I was not ready for those people. I had only learned a few days earlier that I was transsexual. I was quite distraught after it was over and was in a waiting room crying when Money came in supposedly to apologize. He tried to reach up the flowing skirt I was wearing to touch you know what and I screamed and slapped his hand away. My boyfriend Kevin rushed in and literally picked Money up and threw him into a wall whereupon Harry rushed in and Money was upset because he claimed he was just trying to examine me which was odd after he mouthed, "you are a very pretty boy." I later learned Money was a Pedophile advocate which pretty much assures you he was one and others have made similar claims. Doctors can get away with a lot of deviant shit.

The fact that this bilge gets printed bothers me because it hurts the kids. According to Lawrence a child like Jazz is a "gay boy" when all I see is a pretty little girl. What about Black Swan? Look we may not particularly like each other but she was put through a living hell as a child that traumatized her so severely it took years to recover. Where does she fit in this bullshit because as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west Black Swan was born transsexual. By ignoring that which does not fit or by attempting to shoehorn people into a category that does not fit them does a disservice to the person and proves how invalid the junk science is. It is part of the reason I am deeply offended by the term transgender.

Lawrence believes that all transsexualism is the same which is totally false based even on their own pathetic criteria because the self described autogynephile Lawrence is really trying to justify the mistake she made when she had SRS. She is one of the ones with regret and she thinks she has to stuff every late transitioner into her pathetic little paraphilic life. Adults make bad decisions sometimes and Lawrence wants everyone to suffer with her bad decision or should I actually say him?

I do not know if Lawrence favors Aversion Therapy but her buddy Blanchard does which is decidedly disturbing. I have friends that were threatened with Aversion Therapy. Unfortunately, because a private mental hospital, where I was sent because they were worried I would hurt myself after Kevin's death in 1963, was so shocked by me they used an archaic law and defined me as a sexual deviant and I was sent off to Medfield State Hospital in a straight jacket and it is where they filmed Shutter Island. Welcome to my nightmare of 6+ weeks of treatment by a little weasel German Doctor who took a great deal of pleasure in trying to "break me" or "train me" not to be as I was. I made the mistake of telling them I was transsexual and my breasts were of particular interest to them as was my decidedly feminine body. I had things done to me that actually are against the Geneva Convention but not for Medfield State Hospital and that little Nazi prick.

I was so affected by the experience I was seething mad when I was released. I never knew it took my Grandmother with her political connections the entire 6 weeks because she was bucking the system. I was so upset and mad because I believed my family had done this to me, they had not, that I did not talk to them or even Harry for nearly 6 years was their fault and I learned what doing without is all about as I had to live on what I earned as a tutor and working for the Engineering Department none of which paid very much. It caused my planned SRS on December 31, 1963 to be canceled yet in the long run it worked out. Sometimes fate is on your side.

There is not one single professional that agrees with any of these crackpots yet they continue on attempting to destroy what is obvious to anyone that simply looks. We were born transsexual and eventually it will be proved conclusively but there will still be the nutjobs trying to pigeonhole us into the world of the paraphilic. The sad part is people like Sandeen, Roberts, Williams, and Taylor among many are walking and unfortunately yapping examples of what these fools are talking about despite the fact none of them are probably transsexual but are totally immersed in being transgender forever. I am betting they support these clowns whether they will admit it or not.