June Hingle is one of those people and primarily it is because she says the weirdest and most vicious things about me including one comment where she claimed, "I spent my youth parading around with my gay boyfriends", or something akin to that. Not a single word of it was true but that did not bother June Hingle. The weird thing is I do not hate June Hingle nor do I go out of my way to amuse myself by talking about such a tortured soul as hers. I have said some nasty things to June that probably should not have been said but sometimes my Welsh temper overloads my kindly nature and I strike back.
Black Swan is another person whose comments exasperate me a lot and we have had some very heated exchanges. She actually went to Boston Massachusetts in a direct attempt to find out who I am based on certain information she thought relevant. What she would have done with that information is anyone's guess but at the time I feared it would have been put to a use I would not have enjoyed. The funny thing is I actually kind of really like Black Swan in a weird sort of way. I know her story and who she is and believe me I could hurt her but I would never do that because that is truly against my nature. I have even deleted her comments that inadvertently would have outed her because it was apparent she was drunk. I doubt she would do the same for me and someone else I call a dear friend.
I was never a naturally assertive person and a lot of that can be traced back to being a young transsexual and the affects that had on my life early on. even in Houston where I was an expert in certain areas I went to a mentor when I had issues because I feared making waves or rocking the boat. I once recognized we would have a metallurgy problem with a certain set of hardware when a proposed vendor change was mentioned. I was right but I went to someone else who stopped it because it would have prevented us from launching and that could not be allowed.
Even in NYC on the site I managed for my Uncle I went to my Uncle when soft steel was found. I could have been assertive but it was just not me. I made a lot of friends within the steel worker union because I listened but even that took a while to sink in. The first time I was ever assertive personally was in the Business we owned in California with close friends. A certain company refused to talk with women and my first husband told me to handle it and I actually did. I think I told them we did not need them but they needed us and I managed the company day-to-day business so they could talk with me or I would simply call a certain heated rival and see how they felt about working with me. It worked and actually set a precedent for women in that industry.
I learned to be assertive in my world of Engineering but it was always something I have had to work on because it never came naturally. I was absolutely never assertive with boys or men but always timid and shy except for my first husband who I pursued and that was in a way good and very bad. The good my daughter and the bad the 7 figures he took me for. I consider it a wash.
This Jane Doe incident in Florence Colorado has really hit home for me. I look at her and I see myself over 50 years ago and it makes one think of what happened in my life and it suddenly dawned on me I was actually assertive once as a 13 year old. Okay maybe it was as much anger and fear but I was assertive, if screaming is assertive, and it probably saved my life because I was one screwed up teenager right about then. I did not understand why I was the way I was and it was ripping me apart.
A boy kissed me in front of some people that thought I was a "real" girl and I kissed him back because I admit I had wanted him to kiss me for a while. I knew it would get out it was me and my life was dog food when the word got out so I ran out of the place into a raging late season Nor'easter and since I was skimpily dressed jumped into the back seat of the car that had brought us there for self preservation because I was freezing.
That darn boy jumped in the back seat with me and disarmed me by putting his coat around me to warm me up. Why did he do that was all I could think of? I remember I screamed at him that he had killed me by kissing me which was weird because I wanted to die believe it or not. He then asked me why I had kissed him back and I then told him everything about me and how I felt but not until later why I kissed him back. Actually I screamed it at him between sobs because I had a doctorate in crying and I remember his eyes to this day when I screamed I am a girl and why can't anyone see that or something like that. He then told me I had somehow screwed up every boys head in school because boys think about two things, sports and girls, and he assured me sports came in a distant second. Who knew?
That girl in Colorado is really hurting right now and my guess is she is wondering why some people cannot realize she is just a girl. Sometimes it just feels like the world is crushing you when you are that young and transsexual. I would wager she does not and never will understand why she is this way but like me and others she knows to her very essence she is simply a girl. It is what drives us to transition or push the envelope in a society that will not let you be as you should be. I thought and hoped that that nightmare scenario was over with but I should have realized it can never be over with for kids like Jane Doe and me until our SRS.
Jane Doe is so typical of the kids I have helped because the facts are very obvious. Like most feminine transsexuals she has probably very low testosterone levels. At 12 mine were similar to girls that age which probably meant puberty had not kicked in. My doctor at Children's told my mother I would have been sterile or at least there was a high probability which I was not told of, not that using that disgusting thing mattered to me. Jane Doe is what Harry would have called a kid with complete psychosexual inversion which basically means, like me, she just knew she was a girl and nobody was convincing her otherwise.
I am sure she realizes she is transsexual and probably transgender but neither of those terms are actually relevant because Jane is simply a little girl whose body somehow lost its way during development because if that is not a girl then this world is just so wrong I can never understand it. I am also quite sure before she transitioned she had incredibly low self esteem because for kids like us not being "correct" physically is crushing and we can be very self destructive and I know that from personal experience.
I am also betting that when she transitioned it was like someone lifted the weight of the world off her shoulders. Watching your body turn even more feminine as breasts develop is life affirming to kids like us. It seems like you have escaped the grips of that nightmarish thought you would grow up to be a boy. It is that single terrifying thought that forces us into the actions we take. Sometimes those actions can be self destructive and sometimes they are not.
After I started hormones I made absolutely no attempt to hide my budding breasts except near my grandmother but even she knew. I remember in school how boys started looking and staring at them which was in a way quite nice. My boyfriend certainly seemed interested. They also probably led to my rape but that was in the works for that pervert long before that day.
Dr. Benjamin had actually written a letter to the school intimating it might be a good idea to excuse me from boy's gym which was mandatory as were the white short shorts and white tee-shirts both boys and girls had to wear to gym. I remember my gym teacher finally telling me to leave and never come back to gym because it seemed the boys could not take their eyes of my breasts or bouncing breasts as I moved around or whatever they called it. I was rather pleased with that actually. My boyfriend was actually quite jealous other boys noticed and I liked that also.
Reactions like this are universal among all the kids I have helped in the last 40+ years. I can tell you we have two kids basically the same age as Jane right now and both are worried this could happen to them but they are in Britain so hopefully they are safer from cyber bullying but then how do you stop it?
I have tried to stay as calm as I can about this nightmare so I would not go ballistic and I think I have. I have found myself on the opposing side of many arguments with Cristan Williams but I have always respected what she has tried to give back in Houston because I still have friends there. Her defense of this little girl has been exemplary and above and beyond any calling and she has systematically and calmly destroyed the Pacific Justice Institute lies and distortions which is not something I could have done calmly and quietly.
The simple truth is most of us know that children are sacred and must not be harmed but there are some that let personal animus enter their view of this situation. I missed the comment you will find below and in many ways I am glad I did because I would have blown a gasket,if I had read it. The following comment came after a comment by me which reads as follows in part.
I have not read anywhere where this transitioned girl was harassing anyone. It seems to have been one very conservative parent(s) that complained and I do not believe the police were brought in and it was bathroom use for a transitioned teenager.
Have we sunk so low we would demand a transitioned MTF kid be required to use the boy's room? If you have proof that something "really" did happen I would really like to read it ......The following was the response I thankfully missed.
The issue is, this person seems to be making no effort to assimilate as a female. I am not saying that someone transitioning should be forced into the boy's room, but that a reasonable compromise should be made. Obviously, this student's situation is well known in the school, and it is an issue. I don't believe on transgender student's right trumps the rights of others in this way. In fact, I think pressing such a demand raises serious questions about the veracity of the student's claim. If the student really identifies as a female, why does he have so little regard for other females?
I will admit I had to read it several times to actually believe what was written but I am going to discuss this line by line just because I can.
The issue is, this person seems to be making no effort to assimilate as a female.I am really not sure I understand where that could come from. She is transitioned and has been transitioned for over 2 years and spent the previous 2 years in another school as a girl without any issues. She is also not trying to assimilate as a female but simply be the little girl she is. The female part kind of comes with age and experience.
I am not saying that someone transitioning should be forced into the boy's room, but that a reasonable compromise should be made.No but you are saying she should be made to feel different and after all her socialization as a girl is a big plus. Maybe she could do what I did which was be so terrified I found a place in the basement and clean it up like I did so I could make a bathroom break a 15 minute event. You are treating her like you think she is somehow a threat, as in sexual threat, to other girls. Like I said before kids are different and all she is doing is fitting in.
Obviously, this student's situation is well known in the school, and it is an issue.Actually it was not an issue except for one conservative freshman's mom and the local school district does have the right to make this local decision. Here you are siding with PJI and I do wonder why.
I don't believe on transgender student's right trumps the rights of others in this way.First this is a transsexual teenager and I realize you have not one single clue what that is but I do. She is not trumping the rights of others because she is a girl. Nobody in their right mind believes she is a threat to anyone but herself, unfortunately.
In fact, I think pressing such a demand raises serious questions about the veracity of the student's claim.Okay now this line got my dander up. What claim would that be exactly? The claim she is a girl which is undeniable in more ways than I can count. It takes a pompous asshole to make a comment like that but then I am betting you had not seen her picture at this point. I know you have since but you never retracted this comment. I find that interesting and it makes me wonder.
If the student really identifies as a female, why does he have so little regard for other females?Where the heck do you get off assuming she has little regard for other females and where do you get off using a male pronoun for this child? That is so offensive it infuriates me and I could say some nasty things but I am going to refrain.
Unfortunately that really is who you are on the subject of this little girl. I find that sad because I would think someone who claims they were born transsexual would have some understanding what this child is going through. Apparently you are incapable of that empathy and I have to wonder if you are out helping Pacific Justice Institute gather signatures for delaying California Bill AB1266 and taking it to referendum in the fall 1014 midterm elections. Have you sunk that low?
I am not going to attempt to beat you into submission because I am not sure there is a weapon available that could dent your skull and knock some well deserved common sense into you. You are entitled to your opinion but I am entitled to tell you that calling you Clueless insults the Clueless.
I wonder how in god's name could you use a male pronoun for that child like the Pacific Justice Institute has done but then you need to look at yourself in the mirror. That was beyond insensitive but then that was the intent.
I find this entire side of you rather sad and that bothers me.