Politically legislation passed in the United States are often compromises between our mainly two party system and the California Bill is similar to legislation and local ordinances passed throughout the United States including conservative bastions like the state of Texas. In Texas Houston, San Antonio, El Paso, Dallas and Ft. Worth public school districts all have California-style policies protecting transsexual kids and let me be blunt because it is only transsexual kids that will be involved. There is not a single verifiable case in the United States of America of a transsexual doing anything that violates even the remotest spirit of this law and there are multiple school districts in California that already have the same policy.
How can I say that? Well the truth is kids are different than your average wingnut adult and transsexual children only want to find acceptance from others their own age. The funny thing is that acceptance is willingly given by most of their fellow students because in all cases it is pretty easy to recognize the child is the sex and gender they present even with the wrong parts. Whether they are an FTM or a MTF transsexual acceptance is what they need and want because it is what every teenager wants. In their cases acceptance as who they really are is not only life affirming it may be life saving. Being an outcast and transsexual is a potential double disaster for a child and particularly teenagers.
Why is it more difficult for teenagers? Well both the girls and the boys have gigantic cases of raging hormones and these MTF transsexual kids mirror society perfectly and are heterosexual girls that are attracted to boys. The other problem is almost universally they had a difficult time living as boys and are quite attractive as girls which is always important for a girl. The teenager in Colorado is a perfect example of this. She is a quite stunningly beautiful young girl and she would have attracted boys even if unknown and I speak from personal experience when I say they will still come around because she is seen as a girl.
Teenagers view the world quite a bit differently than we do and we can see that in society all around us. The vast majority of teenagers and very young adults openly support gay marriage because they have had gay friends and they see nothing except sexual preference to differentiate their gay friends from themselves. The same is true of transsexual children when they exists within a particular school or school system and the unspoken word here is these transsexual teenagers are exceedingly rare. For the wingnuts among you that means there are not a lot of them.
Jane Doe in Florence Colorado really struck home with me because I was her over 50 years ago in Massachusetts. When I was out in public I was so terrified to go into a boys room I will admit I had a few accidents. I received the same snide remarks Jane received when she tried to use a male restroom so I became totally withdrawn and so timid it was dangerous to my well being. In school I was so terrified of using the boys room not because they would ask what a girl was doing in there but for a different reason, fear.
Teenage boys are attracted to you initially because they sense "girl" and then they get angry when they learn "boy" is correct because even feeling like you had a gay thought back then meant striking out at the one that provoked the thought. Sadly, that is still how it kind of works today because the confusion over whether you are a girl or a boy plays mind game tricks with the psyche of young males and their raging testosterone.In my life things eased up when a certain boy blabbed to fellow students that I was really a girl, oops, should have been a girl, oops, wanted desperately to be a girl. That period in school was weird for the 6 months before I learned I was transsexual which was blabbed by the same boy and resulted in basically everyone thinking I was somehow really a girl but had some wrong parts. The hormones I started around 14 added to the convincing.
It did not end the verbal abuse from some but it did stop the physical abuse because most boys would never hurt a girl and I actually learned that at my 10th High School reunion. This may trivialize some of the complexities of this issue but life for a teenager is sensory and based on their perception of you as an individual. Think about that for a second. Why are geeks often ostracized? Why are obese kids ostracized? I could go on and on but it is perception and the teenage need not to be odd or out of place. Have you ever seen the "cool" kids hang out with the none "cool" kids?
For a transsexual teenager this is a nightmare unless they are transitioned or at the worst everyone knows why you look so "different". You just do not fit "boy" because visually it does not fit and neither do you fit "girl" because you are forced to dress as a "boy". Psychologically it is a living nightmare. I love what Jane Doe's mom said about her after she transitioned. Now when her daughter walks down the street everyone sees a girl because that is who she is.
The irony of this entire Jane Doe case and the Pacific Justice Institute is that if any single one of those wingnuts from PJI met this girl before this insanity began they would have never once questioned her sex or gender because quite bluntly she fits girl like a well worn glove. It is part of the perception people like the PJI and others have about transsexuals. They see teenage transsexuals like many of the older transitioners that have been poisoned by testosterone and this has been true for 40+ years and I know from personal experience again.
I was involved in a legal issue shortly after SRS. I had never met my attorney nor had I met opposing council. I rode the elevator in the Prudential Tower in Boston with one of the opposing council who openly hit on me the entire elevator ride which was something I enjoyed because he was actually nice about it. We got off on the same floor and when I met with the receptionist I was told to wait for a few minutes and my elevator pal said he had friends he had to wait for. It never dawned on me he was opposing council and he actually asked me out to dinner when I told him I was unattached. It was kind of surreal when looking back at it.
The next thing I noticed was lots of suits walking around glancing at me and then staring. even then we were an oddity. When I was taken back to my Attorney I realized I was not what he expected and in all honesty that really hurt. He even said so and that hurt more. The weird thing was he was all smiles and mentioned something to another suit that opposing council was dead. I was in a weird state somewhere between crying, shock, and anger. What the heck were they expecting. I know now but I didn't really understand.
Like most lawyers my suit was a sneaky devil and he had me pretend I was his assistant when the opposing council were brought in for my deposition. That man I met on the elevator had a sudden realization that I might be the "freak" but was so junior he was shushed when he tried to tell the other lawyers in the cadre thy brought that I was "it". I cannot nor will I repeat what they called me before my suit just pointed at me and said depose her. It was ugly for a while and the only weird comment I made was to the suit that asked me out for dinner. I asked him if this meant our dinner date was off for the evening? It was a mean and spiteful comment but I meant it as such.
I gather my suit told their suits that in front of a jury they had no chance of winning. Meanwhile why the suits talked I went down to a Coffee Shop and put my large sunglasses on while I nursed a coffee so nobody could see my red eyes and the occasional tear that fell. I was 25 and much better equipped to handle this situation but it hurt beyond hurt. I remember how awful I felt when I went up against John Money just before my 14th birthday and to be honest was deeply hurt by what was said. I was unprepared for that and it took days to recover and I had Harry then.
Ironically I learned the legal case was close to being settled when a suit came down to the Coffee Shop and told me. In another ironic moment it was an opposing suit that told me and apologized and then asked if I would still go to dinner with him. Yes the one and the same and I did. it turned into a very interesting evening.
That is an example of perception and the visual image many had of transsexuals back then. Ironically it is almost as bad today which might actually shock you. The perception of those born transsexual is not based on kids like Jazz or Jane Doe but on the wingnuts that present as female and often are not. They believe the teenage transsexuals are just like those adults that are Transgender because that is how transsexualism is now portrayed or badly portrayed to be more accurate.
These same wingnuts think transsexual teenagers will act just like Colleen Francis did or deliberately force themselves on other girls and offend those girls. You will notice the case of FTM transsexual teenagers are rarely mentioned. By the way they would never do what Colleen Francis did because it would offend them.
Just think about what Jane doe is going through. My guess is she likes boys and she is on estrogen so her hormones are raging but more importantly she is going through a girl's puberty. She is described as very shy and timid by her mother which fits every child I have been involved in helping. It is a defense mechanism we use to survive and it often involves building a wall around yourself for protection from the hurt others project on you because you are just so "different".
Teenagers do not do different well unless it is their way of fitting into a group like Goth or something like that but even then they have others like them. I am willing to bet there are few if any schools that have two transsexual teenagers that have transitioned. I actually met another transsexual that went to the same High School I did but she had to hold it back. I cannot tell you how much it would have helped just to talk with someone like me. Today that is possible but the wingnuts even invade that spaces and some wingnuts run sites where they expect transsexual kids to accept themselves as "homosexual transsexuals" and I do not know of many that would. It is not homophobia just the simple truth the terminology does not and never will fit.
Kids are bluntly honest in most cases because they have not learned the deceptive practices of adults. Kids kind of look at the world as black or white and are willing to accept differences early on if they understand why the child is different. The irony here is that not one of us that were transsexual children have one clue why we were born the way we were. To us it just does not make sense because why would a girl be born with a penis? It is simplistic but it is how kids look at it. I never understood it and neither do the kids today. The simple fact you are a girl to your soul wins people over.
When a kid transitions or pushes the envelopes that society has burdened them with despite their continual assertions that they are not what you think we should be they defy what many consider logical. what they miss is the simple truth that it is logical to us or maybe a better term is it is "right" for us. We do not do what we do because it is "cool" or "different" but because we are what we are and we cannot change that and quite honestly do not want to change that because it is the essence of who we are.
Just being one of the girls allows socialization and girls know when you are not a girl. I was in college at 15 and my "protector" was a female pre-med student and it took me 6 months before I was fully accepted as one of the girls. That socialization helped me immeasurably as my life evolved. Jane has already earned some of this since she is 2+ years into her transition and the positive effect of this socialization cannot be underestimated. The Pacific Justice Institute and their lackeys would deny this beautiful girl that important part of her life.
There will still be kids that might call her names but you cannot legislate against stupidity and ignoring them works best plus I found other kids would tell them to just shut up because you are okay. Kids are pretty good that way.
All this teenager wants is acceptance and the saddest part is she has had it since she transitioned two years ago because visually and perception wise she is a girl and it is undeniable and nobody but some wingnuts could possibly view it otherwise.
The sad part is children should ALWAYS get the benefit of any doubt because children are fragile. Jane Doe's parents have had her in therapy for quite a while and the therapist recommended the transition and this is certainly not a case of some idiot therapist allowing someone to incorrectly transition not that it can be stopped. Jane's parents have done everything correctly in order to protect Jane and to provide clear evidence to others that this is the only path for Jane. Sadly there are those out there that give the benefit of the doubt to the wingnuts opposing and hurting this child.
Their vitriol is so anti-Christian it is sickening. Like all radical religious wingnuts they misquote and misinterpret whatever religious bible they follow in the blind belief they have divine righteousness. As a Christian who avoids most churches like they carry the plague, too many do, I often wonder if they even have a clue what Christ stood for. They do not by the way.
This is a little girl that will thankfully never know male privilege and will lead her life as a female. She will get her SRS one way or another and there are people that may be willing to help on that account. Like most young transsexuals she will slide into society and live a quiet life as a young girl and then a young woman. If she decides to be out that is her right and those who benefited from male privilege should just STFU if she does and the same if she does not. It is her life to live.
The sad part here is she had a safe and accepting haven where she could blossom as a beautiful young girl and I fear that may have been destroyed. The people who just tolerate Jane because she fits as a girl may or may not take up the banner of the wingnuts at PJI. PJI started out claiming she harassed girls in the girls' bathroom and when that was completely refuted by the school and the school board they change it to claim her "just" entering the bathroom was harassment. They made the scurrilous claim she changed gender daily by claiming she was a boy one day and a girl the next based on the claim she wore a baseball cap which her parents say she does not own. Look at her face and tell me any of you could mistake that for a boy.
Other wingnuts have called her predatory and a predator based on these untrue comments by PJI and have upped the hate. PJI is using this in order to get the 505,000 signatures needed to delay implementation of California Bill AB1266 and force it to a referendum in the 2014 midterm elections. They live by the old adage of never let the truth get in the way of your lies if they benefit you politically or financially. This child is being used to raise money for a cause that believes in reparative or aversion therapy which they call conversion therapy. Even for wingnuts like these they have sunk to a new low.
PJI is dishonest and has used less than honest rhetoric in their attempt to gather financial support. I agree totally with Cristan Williams that Jane is being bullied. Here is a picture from Cristan's blog of Jane with her girlfriends at school.
She is happy and she has girlfriends. Do those girls look harassed by her? following comment is from Cristan's TransAdvocate Blog.
Take a long look at the life Jane Doe had. This is the life PJI has managed to smugly destroy.
Thursday afternoon, the TransAdvocate learned from Jane’s mother that the family decerned that Jane needed immediate professional intervention due to the scope of suicidal ideation Jane had recently exhibited. The family is now working with specialists in Denver to address Jane’s needs.
If I could reach out to her I would hug her like I have every one of the kids we shepherded through this nightmare and tell her not to let them win because her girlfriends at school and many who have lived this nightmare can testify just being accepted as a girl and then a woman is possible and right in front of you and there are many willing to help. Please do not let those wingnuts win.
So PJI has partially broken this child and I bet they are just so proud of themselves. I just cannot understand how anyone can and do hurt children deliberately. This is about as clear a case of cyber bullying I can remember of a transsexual teenager. What has she done wrong other than be who she is? What have her parents done wrong other than loving their child?
Some of you out there need to take a long hard look in the mirror and recognize an asshole is looking back at you!!!!
5 comments:
So many truisms here. Well done!
"The irony here is that not one of us that were transsexual children have one clue why we were born the way we were. To us it just does not make sense because why would a girl be born with a penis? It is simplistic but it is how kids look at it. I never understood it and neither do the kids today. The simple fact you are a girl to your soul wins people over."
"The irony of this entire Jane Doe case and the Pacific Justice Institute is that if any single one of those wingnuts from PJI met this girl before this insanity began they would have never once questioned her sex or gender because quite bluntly she fits girl like a well worn glove. It is part of the perception people like the PJI and others have about transsexuals. They see teenage transsexuals like many of the older transitioners that have been poisoned by testosterone and this has been true for 40+ years and I know from personal experience again."
"The perception of those born transsexual is not based on kids like Jazz or Jane Doe but on the wingnuts that present as female and often are not. They believe the teenage transsexuals are just like those adults that are Transgender because that is how transsexualism is now portrayed or badly portrayed to be more accurate."
"If I could reach out to her I would hug her like I have every one of the kids we shepherded through this nightmare and tell her not to let them win because her girlfriends at school and many who have lived this nightmare can testify just being accepted as a girl and then a woman is possible and right in front of you and there are many willing to help. Please do not let those wingnuts win."
Liz:
Thank you for this writing. I had a rocky time of it as a teenager, and at the time had no option other than to be very visible about transition. What the middle-aged cohort fail to grok (because of their accumulated male advantages, I suppose) is that when we were making this big step as teenagers we didn't have the full range of legal freedoms that society was later willing (however grudgingly) to grant to us.
For me, the big breakthrough was getting in front of a magistrate and successfully pleading to be regarded as legally emancipated (despite being not yet of the usual age of majority).
The other big part of things, as you noted, is having an age-cohort support system. Sure, many of the girls that I went to school with, and with whom I later went to college, did not want anything to do with me, but there were still quite a few who were there for me and with whom it's been good to stay in touch, although I have never bothered with any of the decadal reunions thereafter.
It utterly guts me that there are external outfits such as PJI who are cynically and callously using this young girl's situation as a means to drum up support for themselves. At least that's one thing to be said for the long-ago days: we weren't collectively as visible, and there was no business case to be made for erecting an organisational (read: fund-raising!) hatred upon our own bodies and selves.
Thanks again for the writing; you offer a breath of fresh air, even here outside America.
Yours quietly,
an anonymous elfchick
p.s.
over the years, I've done what I could to repay kindnesses given unto me when I was young and greatly in need of such aid, by helping others of like circumstance. I daresay that this particular form of underground sorority is more widespread than any of us would ever guess. ^_^
We were always careful to work with young women who were either above the age of majority here, or likewise legally-emancipated, because the mayhem laws are still very much on the books, and also because parental support is far from being universally-assured. I have never regretted running away and continuing to lead a quiet life far way -- that was essential to becoming able to form my own social and marital relationships without constraint from prior obligations and expectations.
Still happily married, and nicely settled into the world: it all worked out okay, much as my old shrink said it would.
Hugs!
I can't tell you how sad this whole story makes me feel angry too at the ignorance displayed by those with an agenda.
Cassandraspeaks
Parasites have no scruples. When a rat begins to die, the fleas must find a new host. With anti-equal marriage organizations on the losing side of history, they must manufacture new causes to keep the hate-based income stream flowing.
- an old aunty
My heart bleeds for this young woman. She just wants to be real, and a whole person. She wants to have dignity. Yet so many want to treat her like a villain, and toss her like trash in their little wars.
If there was one thing I learned from my late momma, was that you don't use children as weapons. Angry husbands do crap like that, when they want to hurt the mothers of their children. Whereas a real mother will defend children first.
Jane Doe is a vulnerable child. Shame on those women who attack her. Utter shame. Regardless of which facilities one thinks she should use, she is trying to make her way as a young woman. Outing her is contemptible. Calling her a malicious person is vile.
Post a Comment