Tuesday, December 3, 2013


Well we have another supposed study  involving those that claim to be transgendered and contemplating or attempting suicide. I make no claims about any expertise in attempting suicide even though I tried 6 times which are very well documented. I was not really very good at it, thankfully.

These reports about transgender suicide are about as bogus as it gets because there is absolutely no documentation or information about what status the supposed attempted suicides or even those that considered suicide. By this I mean we do not know if the individuals were transsexual, transvestites, cross-dressers, drag queens etc.. In my opinion this is done on purpose to obfuscate the situation so as to favor the non transsexuals under the transgender banner.

According to Suicide Causes the overwhelming causes of attempted suicide are depression and those born transsexual certainly know about that.  Depression was certainly the reason I tried. It was the depression I felt because there seemed no hope for me because I knew I was a girl and I needed to get rid of that silly thing and there was seemingly no help. The second I found Harry I never had another suicidal thought. It was that simple because I now had hope and I knew I could be me, eventually.

In my time that was typical of kids like me and others born transsexual. The kids we have worked with have universally never contemplated suicide after realizing help was on the way. Depression is a large problem for those born transsexual because our bodies are wrong not the cloths we wear. Gender Identity has been perverted into this supposedly cover-every-one mantra and has been successfully pushed by the non-transsexuals under the transgender umbrella.

As the narratives of transsexuals became public the word transsexual was replaced with transgender to enforce the concept that this is a gender problem which IT IS NOT if you are born truly transsexual. It is a problem of sex identity for us and the feeling that everything is so wrong about ourselves permeates our existence because help seems impossible. We were not mentally ill but depressed over our perceptions about our sex which is at the very core of 99.99% of people living on this planet.

Gender is a concept that has been perverted to imply sex but it does not because gender is a societal problem and differs from culture to culture. Gender is thus a social construct and thus gender identity is a social problem and not a typical problem for those born transsexual because it is our sex identity that is screwed up. The transgender activists have managed to force this paradigm into the forefront of public opinion and the result is people thought they had a gender identity problem. This has now been somehow perverted in gender dysphoria in the latest DSM bit it is basically bullshit.

dysphoria [dis-for´e-ah] (Gr.)disquiet; restlessness; malaise. adj. adj dysphoret´ic, dysphor´ic.
gender dysphoria unhappiness with one's biological sex or its usual gender role, with the desire for the body and role of the opposite sex.

The above definition is for a mental illness which transsexualism is absolutely not. The definition for gender dysphoria is also wrong because sex and gender may be linked but they also may not. Here we have the muddling words of incompetent boobs like Zucker who was on the DSM committee that came up with this bullshit as he was for the previous version of the DSM.

There inherent lack of intelligence is actually mind boggling unless one realizes it is all really about money. Widen the scope and there are more clients and thus more money. This brings me back to suicide.

As I said earlier one's sex identity is at the very core of the essence of being human. Unless you are born intersex one is either male or female within the human species and if the intersex are given a choice they will pick the one they belong in. Gender on the other hand is fungible and varies greatly which the transgender activists push hard. There claim that gender is not binary is actually 100% correct because gender is changeable based on any whim or feeling and your appearance based on culture. Sex is not fungible and herein lies the problem because it is the concept of incorrect sex that drove most transsexuals to attempt or contemplate suicide based on the level of the intensity of their transsexualism.

The narratives of those born transsexual have been stolen or co-opted into the narratives of the transgendered because it gives them legitimacy. There is not a single fucking transvestite or cross-dresser on this planet that ever thought they were a girl. It is a damn lie yet many have bought into it. They like to dress as women but they do not want to be female but they tell us they contemplated or attempted suicide. Now I am sure some of them did but it was not because they could not because they are transgender unless you are trying to tell me one wants to kill oneself because they can no longer jack-ff in women's cloths or cannot dress in public as a woman etc. They can so it is bullshit.

It is part and parcel of the attempt to usurp what is female as they keep their dick and balls while claiming to be women when they are en femme. Personally I could care less if they run around fooling themselves into believing they are female or women but they hurt those born transsexual when they show up next to Jazz on a television show and proudly say, "I will trade my breasts for your hair", to a transsexual child whose core sex identity is her problem.

If the non transsexuals are taken out of the study how many transvestites, cross-dressers, and drag queens attempt suicide because of their perceived gender issues. I proffer that very few do but then if one does not say one attempted suicide then one loses legitimacy within the perceived belief that all do this otherwise one is not "trans".

The threat, "I will kill myself if I cannot dress as a woman" or "I will kill myself if I cannot live as a woman" reads as hollow because where is the angst that cause this suicidal impulse. In this modern world all of this is not only possible but legal and available for little money compared to what those facing a sex identity crisis who absolutely "must" change sex and it is that denial or chance that causes a depression only those who have lived through it understand and believe me not a single freaking transvestite, cross-dresser or drag queen has a clue about that.

To the transgendered claiming an attempted but failed suicide or claiming they contemplated it because they are transgendered is like the street cred phony "gangsta rappers" desire so they claim they are gangsters when they are not which does tend to irritate those that really were gangsters before taking up rapping. It is like politicians that claim they fought in Vietnam or some war when they did not. They claim it for political credibility and just cannot stop the lie and sometimes cannot stop even when caught in the lie.

Do some of these non-transsexuals under the transgender umbrella attempt suicide. I am sure they do and I am sure some of them convince themselves it is because they are "transgendered" but the reality is often different. One does not attempt suicide until one feels there is no other way out and no hope period. They believe the bullshit hype from many others in the transgender community that life is better on the other side en femme when in fact it is much more difficult because quite bluntly they often stick out like someone doing a Monty Python Silly Walk would. They make the mistake of thinking being a girl is better yet they are unwilling to take the step of SRS for various reasons and if they make the mistake of SRS then the real depression sets in.

The depression is not because they are transgender but because they ruin their lives. Just read the blogs on T-Central and read but also listen to the sheer silliness of their views of themselves. They cannot understand the wife not accepting them; they cannot understand why they cannot get a job as a girl looking like an NFL tackle in a dress; they cannot understand why women will not date them as fellow lesbians with dicks; they cannot understand rejection because after all they pass laws that force acceptance,. It is both pathetic and in a way very sad but it is not a reason to commit suicide because whatever their gender desires are they can fulfill them.

They can go en femme to baseball games; they can even travel en femme if they have the courage; they can play golf en femme; they can basically do everything they want en femme except they cannot find acceptance as female or women because they are temporary and transient women. Somehow this raises the depression level to suicide alert levels which is total fabricated bullshit.

A social problem is not a reason for suicide but "trans cred" demands they have the requisite suicide attempt of the thought of suicide which is a nefarious concept at its best. Is the thought "damn I hate living in this world" a contemplated suicide? One could go on for days over this lunacy bit the simple truth is it cheapens what those born transsexual that desperately need SRS go through.  It is part of the bullshit concept that we are all the same which comes from the same clown that have jammed political correctness down the throats of the world and have left the world in a malaise where excellence is put down and forced equality without effort is championed.

The concept of high transgender suicide attempts and contemplation fits right into this politically correct world where women are no longer required to have a vagina because men want to play girl. I would ask them if they have ever had their stomach pumped but I know they would just lie. It is far from a pleasant experience and one I have undergone 5 of the 6 times I stupidly attempted suicide because it is stupid even if it seems logical at the moment. Suicide is a stupidly selfish act attempted by those that feel beyond hope. Just how does dressing in women's cloths fit in to that?

Attempting suicide is a mental illness problem which can be directly related to be born transsexual. There is absolutely no way shape or manner it can be linked to being a transvestite, cross-dresser or drag queen and anyone that claims it is just lying and trying to fool themselves into believing it gives them "trans cred" which it may amongst the other dummies claiming frivolously they did the same thing.

Before any of these studies that claim these obscene suicide rates for those that are transgender can have absolutely any validity they must clearly define who was what and "why" they attempted suicide. In reality as a researcher in technical fields the best way is to actually physically interview the subjects but in the world of today somehow an internet poll provides accurate results which is impossible to verify. The National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) has made the same frivolous claims using anonymous polls because they are pushing the concept of sameness for all under the transgender umbrella. I hardly think they are unbiased.

As reported here there are absolutely no reliable studies that back up any of these claims. Even in this report they do not truly understand the primary risk factor for transsexuals or transsexual kids which is sex identity because that has been co-opted out of the transgender bullshit in favor of gender and why would anyone kill themselves over gender which changes or can change on a whim?

Only in the imaginary delusional world of the transgendered is all of this possible or even accepted as fact. Transsexualism is a physical problem. Transgender is a gender problem and has no physical component unless one is transsexual because it is a social problem at its very core. Transsexualism can only be resolved through SRS. Transgenderism can be resolved with a dress. Which one do you think causes stress, depression, and hopelessness and if you claim it is transgender do yourself a favor and wake up from your delusion.


Anonymous said...

You make a number of interesting points, but I haven't come across many TG folk who lay claim to suicide attempts...but then again, I don't spend a great deal of time with TG folk.

What I have a problem with is the idea that sex is between one's legs and gender is within one's head. This notion misses the mark because the problem that TS folk suffer from is that their brain sex does not match their body sex. Gender issues stem from societal norming.

The problem with your post, for me, is that you are too prejudiced against those of us not blessed with your slight physique. We all suffer and trust me, those of us built like linebackers suffer just as much, if not more, because our bodies truly betray us. When you make these statements, you drift into a kind of gender essentialism that prefers a kind of female body and eschews those which do not conform to the norm. It is an argument that has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with gender expectation.

But, amazingly enough, my doctor still performed SRS and I still live as a woman and no one much cares that I am stockier than average.

- Friga

Elizabeth said...


I was not talking about transsexuals when I mentioned the larger folk but about the transvestites and cross-dressers and certainly meant you no disrespect. You had SRS thus you are my sister.

The problem is not with our brain because IMHO my brain was wired correctly which is female but I had the wrong bits between my legs so yes sex is what is between your legs because it nis what drives transsexuals to get SRS. The TG crowd wants that not to be true so they can keep their dicks and balls and be considered female.

Transsexualism is a sex identity problem because our brains do not match our genitals. The genitals are thus WRONG. Gender is too fluid and thus gender identity has no validity because how many genders are there? According to the Tg certainly more than 2.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, the best course of action is to sit back and have a laugh...

"There inherent lack of intelligence is actually mind boggling" Ever so ironic when someone uses the wrong form of "their" in an ad hom vs. another person.

"Suicide is a stupidly selfish act" Not so much. Suicide is something that happens when stressors beat coping mechanisms (for any number of reasons). Overdose, though, is a stupid way to attempt it.

A smarter way involves Aspirin (or some other blood thinner), a bath, and a vertical cut down the radial arteries and/or veins.

I can only imagine how peeved you must be at California's AB 1121, lol.

Black Swan said...

Lets face it Elizabeth society recognized your sex through your gender presentation, notwithstanding if you had SRS or not. No one sees your crotch in public. If you move, look and sound like a woman you are one; lookism is alive and well. All three have to work well or failure occurs. Most late transitions cannot archive the impossible beauty standard you have. And your setting up a dangerous negative incentive calculous by linking suicide to transsexual legitimacy. Pain is temporary.

I suggest you read OSHO on suicide, he argues that suicide is nonexistent in primitive societies, transsexuals where around then were they not? The pressure to gender conform, the gender binary prejudice, in our neurotic modern society has more to do with suicide then the genitals your born with.

I've certainly had my struggles, but I'm very gifted--I'm lucky. For me effort had nothing to do with it. Its still not perfect, I use what Mother Nature has given me. Albeit I still see the six foot daughter out of Elysium in my minds eye when I look in the mirror as you have suggesed to me, not me, she is the ghost in the darkness. When I dream I am her.

I love the way you frame these false dichotomies around SRS is the sole contributing factor to depression, eschewing the complexities of pain management, social anxiety, loss of family and friends, stigma, poverty, and violence (see TDOR). The rampant violence alone can create pre-traumatic stress in those that do not gender conform. It does for me as I hear the account of the brutal murders in November.

The media is mostly to blame. In a wild attempt to make allowances for the reintroduction of the damsel in distress and the sexualised female, I think it’s fair to say that cinema has entered into an age of nostalgia, where men have been reintroduced as men’s men, hairy chested, stubbled and indestructible. It leaves more female characters to settle right back into the tired old routine: look pretty, get rescued, be grateful, don’t expect your own film. I don’t think it’s a good enough excuse myself, and like to think that audiences wouldn’t turn their nose up at a girl who pulls herself together after heartbreak, or a woman who takes matters into her own hands, or a female superhero in a lead role. Particularly when some of the fan-made material looks so amazingly cool.

For me, "That's not a woman that's an aircraft carrier." I'm not a manic pixie dream girl. I'm built like the Greek statue in the Louvre, Victoire de Samonthrace, Winged Victory or the Goddess Nike.

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

Sometime I wonder if you are even dumber than I think you are at times. You are nor were you anything like me so you do not know what it was like with little information. The entire point of the post is that transvestites and cross-dressers have nothing to be suicidal about because they have what they want.

Now I could be in error and I am sure there are some cases but the next time you read some piece of shit like Jay Ladin cry I will kill myself if I cannot dress like or live as a woman think about the abject stupidity of the comment because he could and does now.

Mine issues resolved around my fear of growing up a man and I do not expect you to understand that but once I learned I could get help suicide was not an option not quite honestly should it have been but then again you have not one single clue what kids like me went through.

You base it all on "passing" as a girl which I did but you fail to even fathom the damage that does based on the abuse you get for it and this was long before anyone gave a shit about us.

Personally I do not give a shit how you are built or how you see yourself and please spare me your crying towel for the transvestites of the world who now freely roam the streets and attempt to enter female spaces based on their temporary feminine appearance.

You are just another late transitioning dipshit that has not one clue about much other than the TG mantra that was beaten into your head by the modern trans activists and their therapists. Your problem is you are too damn dense to realize it is utter bullshit so you demand everyone buy into your bullshit.

I really don'y give a shit what you or or "trans" pals do as long as those packing a dick and balls remember they are men. When they can function as women come on back and we will talk. Now in your world of perversion a woman may have a dick and balls but I am quite sure in the world of actual straight men, not tranny chasers, and actually lesbians, not penis packing ones, it kind of matters and regardless of what pieces of paper they may get when they are naked in front of their peers the truth is apparent.

Why don't you quit giving everyone a hint and tell the world who you are? Oh yeah I forgot that is only for others isn't it but then maybe those people are not as blind and stupid as you seem to think they are.

Black Swan said...

You mock trangender women who commit suicide huh?

You mock Dasha!


Black Swan said...

You mock Lucy's death.


Black Swan said...

You mock Justin!



Elizabeth said...

@ Black Swan

You are a total fucking idiot. Per usual you are attempting to twist something to fit your pathetic view of the world. Being bullied as a youngster is something that can precipitate a suicide attempt.

The other two were presumably transsexual and I mock nobodies death. I was talking about the many phony claims of attempting suicide by transvestites et al. I realize your pathetic mind is quite limited but if I thought you had minimal reading comprehension I would suggest actually reading what was written but that would get in the way of your transgender agenda.

There are not thousands of them you pathetic asshole and as usual you persist in mixing truth with the fiction of your beliefs. All of this goes together with your fantasy that if you had been given a chance you would have transitioned early which is like it is for basically everyone like you total and complete bullshit.

You were a late transitioner and as a man that somehow is not good enough for you so you imagine you were capable of transitioning young. You were not because if you had been you would have done something immediately after you left high school despite what your dear old dad supposedly did to you which according to several people I know is a figment of your rather large imagination.

You did not have the intensity that forces one to push the limits put on them and that goes for all the frauds claiming they attempted suicide which results if claims of large percentages attempting suicide.

Your fantasy world does not require that sane people accept it as the gospel. Show me a transvestite that killed themselves because they could not wear a dress and I will show you a classic case of Darwinism at work.

Black Swan said...

You mock Sarah's death who ended her life the Sunday before I returned from my Surgery.

Black Swan said...

According to your post Elizabeth believes a TV/CD is just a full time TG.

You mock Aaron (story told by one of the founding members of imatyfa.org) a transgender boy who threw himself under a tractor disc, mutilated to death!

Black Swan said...

You mock Michelle.

I was mentoring a trans women who later was mentor to Michelle in San Francisco who committed suicide.

Now do the math: How many of us do you know that have committed suicide, multiply that by the number of us.

Also the number of suicides exceeds the numbers of murders TDOR statistics.

Black Swan said...

"In a 5 year period here this site handled 78,800 suicidal crisis's online. They were of 3 types. Type 3 being suicide ideation, type 2 being suicide ideation with a plan and Type 1 being actual suicide attempts.

Total numbers:

Type 3 = 46933 Type 2 = 20238 Type 1= 11629

Source: http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgender_suicide_report.htm

They are culled from the Trevor Project. I know this personally.


What kind of evil bitch are you?

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

The Trevor Project handles online crises for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender/transsexual individuals. This entire post was about transvestites and cross-dressers and that seems to have escaped you so I will make it easy.

The link you provided mentions transsexuals and not transvestites and that was the point of the post. Since I cannot seem to make you understand this then you may go elsewhere to post your comments and rant about my opinions.

Also the suicide prevention mentioned on Laura's is for youth which were not part of nor mentioned in this post as being fraudulent in their claims of attempting, thinking about or mentioning suicide. My post was aimed at certifiable assholes like you.

I posted your comments but as mentioned above try your bullshit somewhere else.

Anonymous said...

"... as long as those packing a dick and balls remember they are men."

Except that they frequently are not: not legally, not medically, not interpersonally, not socially.

"... but I am quite sure in the world of actual straight men, not tranny chasers, and actually lesbians, not penis packing ones, it kind of matters..."

Oh, an ode to No True Scotsman.

-women without vaginas aren't real women.

-straight men who can disregard genitals aren't real straight men

-lesbians who can disregard genitals aren't real lesbians.

Why don't we just do an extension on this logically fallacious line of non-thinking:

-cisgender vaginectomy patients aren't real women.

-straight men who can disregard birth sex or chromosomes or infertility aren't real straight men.

-lesbians who can disregard birth sex or chromosomes or infertility aren't real lesbians.

Elizabeth said...


Thanks for making my point.

Anonymous said...

When someone announces they are going to kill themselves the probability is that it's a cry for attention and generally nothing will happen. Serious depression and I mean depression brought about by a condition like bi polar can often result in a successful suicide. The "Black Dog" is most often founded in feelings of an absence of self worth and that can be brought on by either circumstance or bi polar. In most cases there is no warning. In other words the first time anyone knows there was a problem is a dead body or if they are lucky someone I lose to death. Family or friends will have no idea they were in such a bad state of mind. If they survive further attempts are unlikely as the individual gets the help they need but not always.

One thing is sure the more vocal the threat the less likely is the suicide. In the case of those suffering the ravages of transvestism when it has become addictive is very similar to drug addiction. Addicts rarely suicide. Deaths are almost always as a result of accidental overdose or illness brought on by their addiction. Now this is where transgender suicide lays. Rejection by family and friends as well as society at large caused by the addiction can bring on depression that results in suicide. The original rejection has at its roots a myriad of causes. Self image being just one of a great many.

The point Elizabeth is making here and one with which I concur based on my own experience both personal and as a result of work I have done in the field is that high intensity transsexuals once transitioned or on that path never have another suicidal thought related to transsexuality.


Anonymous said...

By the way; I often chuckle to myself when I see the use of the " no true Scotsman" fallacy. Philosopher Anthony Flew who first pointed it out intended that statements like " no true Scotsman puts sugar on his porridge" was fallacious since it was quite possible that certain genuine Scottish nationals might very well sugar their porridge. All statements like " no true transsexual commits suicide" do in reality is "beg the question " in other words was that person genuinely transsexual. Or put another way is the Scotsman actually a true Scotsman? I other circumstances it may be a statement like democratic nations do not start wars. So when an emerging democratic nation starts a war it may be said they were not a democratic nation because they were classified emerging. It merely begs the question were they in fact democratic as a nation.

So use of the fallacy against Elizabeth here in this context is in itself fallacious.


Anonymous said...

There are all sorts of people, tough and sensible, fragile and unrealistic. It's dangerous to make generalizations. For example, I had a friend who knew an early transitioned ts, young and gifted with femininity, who committed suicide post op when she decided she couldn't endure the compromise. She couldn't bear a child and she couldn't undo her past.

-an old aunty

Elizabeth said...

I sometimes wonder if people just read the title of a post and never actually read what I wrote.

This post was about transvestites and cross-dressers claiming they attempted suicide and mu assertion is that on the whole that is bullshit since they have no reason that involves their fetish that could be attributed as a reason to contemplate suicide.

I did NOT put anyone remotely transsexual in this category and it was aimed at the people that go on and on about femulating, dressing up, their days out en femme etc..

Now of that bothers you do me a favor and read another blog. O have no idea why an old aunty posted a comment like hers because it has nothing to do with this post and I am saddened but quite bluntly it is anecdotal evidence and highly suspect in my opinion.

I based this post on what I have read on T-Central blogs and the facts are there if one wants to take a look. Of not go somewhere else.

Anonymous said...

You are a sick person Liz, and you need professional help. :( Now you've become an expert on suicide after reading T-Central????

btw: nobody "attempts" suicide 6 times, and lives to talk about, and much less, becomes an expert.
An "attempt" is MUCH DIFFERENT than a """CONTEMPLATION""". Stop playing GOD!!!!

Elizabeth said...


There are times when I wonder if people like you are as stupid and nonsensical as I think you are. This is a case where I underestimated your stupidity.

I said I based the post on what I read as posted on T-central because of all the phony claims they have about suicide and not once did I express nor opine that I was an expert.

Now you are the expert and saying nobody attempts suicide 6 times and lives to talk about it. One does when one is watched day and night by family members and with some luck makes it through.

Some posts just manage to draw every freak out of the woodwork. Thanks for playing but try traffic the next time.

Elizabeth said...

By the way the Anon above was non other than June the Loon from my favorite psychotropic mind altered little man whose garage disappeared and gave him the vision that he should "change his sex" which led to a quack therapist that then indulged his delusion and supposedly informed him that he was a classic 50+ year old Type VI transsexual and somehow thus the "best" in his mind who then started websites to help everyone with his knowledge on the subject. NOT.

Nice to realize that even rattlesnakes get enough sun during the winter and can get out from under the rocks where they and their fellow lunatics live.

I would say have a nice day but that would imply you understood the concept.

Anonymous said...

"O have no idea why an old aunty posted a comment like hers because it has nothing to do with this post and I am saddened but quite bluntly it is anecdotal evidence and highly suspect in my opinion." - Liz

As is usually true, I found nothing in your post to dispute or expand. However, not every comment is addressed to the root post. Mine was in response to comments followed the post. As tor verity, the story was told to me by a friend, a doctor, who had treated the young woman. Secondhand, hearsay, but quality hearsay.

To the point of your post: I have known transvestites, some nice, some selfish a-holes. None of them have been suicidal to my anecdotal knowledge, but I'd guess being a cross dresser doesn't make one immune to all the other reasons someone might be suicidal. OTOH, I bet their suicide threats are overwhelmingly manipulations to force acceptance of their fetish. (An unscientific hunch, not offered as fact or anecdote.)

- an old aunty

Anonymous said...

I mostly sit back and watch the show these days rather than come out to play because the growing body of "trans*-women" have gotten their feet under them now... and as most men will do when they think their status is threatened...They all come out roaring seeking blood... and when I as a lowly female dare to speak out, the blood to be spilt is of course mine!

So... Their stealing the narrative? Their always showcasing young type VI's as what it means to be "Trans*?" Their being old white crossdressers en-mass pushing the TDOR which almost without exception is about poor young TS of color? (because it's not just about young girls being butchered but about people snickering at them?) Insisting that the entirety of the bathroom issue isn't about their fantasy or them taking from women, but about "their" safety while patiently NOT addressing the issue that affects ALL women.. male violence? Insisting that their right to all women's spaces as well as their getting access to hormones is way more important than silly women having reproductive control over their bodies? The list of their "rights" over all others goes on and on and on... and on... because, as with all men. The ends... The ends here being their "gurl" fantasy lives, always justify the means does it not?

For example... lets go over to Crysti's Condo on TV Central where " Cyrsti Hart" who, after five years in "transition" following a full lifetime as a man, dispenses a never ending font of what it means to be female, yet "she" fesses up this very day about now going for it at long last and so being a WHOLE freaking week "enfemme!" Well hush my mouth! Clearly my having paid for my womanhood in blood, my making it on my own successfully as a female without male privilege... those things count for less than nothing as it does with any of us who endured the slings and arrows... Those of us who turned heaven and hell so we could simply be... female... Our sacrifices means less than nothing... because it wasn't hard work... it wasn't determination, it wasn't a fortune earned by the hardest then spent gladly... we were clearly "privileged" and had they been visited by the gurl fairy in their youth as they seem to think we were... well they would have done this back then too!

Yeah right! (insert sound of chortling)

But before I go... I want to comment on the basis for this post because I' like all my sisters here know first hand what it means... After my last suicide attempt, and a VERY nearly successful one I might add... I left that fucking misfired shell on the floor of the attic for almost two years? Why? Because, one, I could not bring myself to touch it, but mostly? Because by that bullet NOT going through my skull I realized I had less than nothing to loose and so I transitioned that very day...full speed ahead and damn the fucking torpedoes.. Which is in part one of the things that a type V has to face... Our having had way more time to totally fuck up our lives Anyway, since that day when I VERY unexpectedly came back down from the attic under my own power. I was determined to be nothing less than the female I always was... or I would die in the trying, Yet I have not died and I certainly have not spent even a single moment thinking about suicide! Funny how that happens isn't it?


Anonymous said...

Suicide, eh?

Tried twice in my early 'teens, which earned me an entree into the world of horrors that attends upon institutional attempts to pound some 'maleness' into me. Obviously didn't work, did it?

That's almost four decades ago; am rather disinterested in ever going back again. Got myself disowned for that, ayuh.

What **really** hurt me wicked bad thereafter? Realising that my friends were, one by one, joining Baby Club, and that I'd never be able to carry and bear our own babies.

We adopted. Twice. Love the kids to bits; love the grandkids even more. Still, that inability to be fertile stabs my heart. It always will.

So, the thought of someone proclaiming suicidal ideation over inability to toss on a frock for a night out at the drag bar? Nrgh. Get real. :/

sign me,

one very determinedly-anonymous elfchick

who is equally-determined to make the best of what life dishes out!)