Friday, May 6, 2011

Transitioning is NOT a Decision.

There has to be something in the water because there is another expert coming forward on T-Central to give a dissertation on transitioning and it is of such importance the resident nitwits at T-Central have featured it. There is only one problem with the resident expert. This person has not transitioned yet unless it is after May 24, 2011 which is their official transition date.

Plenty of us that will tell you they made a right decision.
How does this person know it was the right decision and will end up being the correct decision when they have not even made their fateful plunge into the world as a woman? Silly me, it is because this person is an expert even though they have not lived one second of what they talk about unless it is fantasy play in the house with the wife or maybe at a PINK Essence transvestite party. I can understand why several of the top honchos at T-Central featured this post. Several have not transitioned but are experts on all things transsexual because they either stayed at a Holiday Inn Express or read a book.

It is the typical mumbo jumbo one gets when lawyers try and speak "down" to the rest of the none legalize folk. It is such a total pile of bullshit s/he should provide wading boots to plow through it. The people forced into the decision to transition do not have a choice nor is it right or eventually correct. It is a simple matter of existence. They cannot exist being what they are not and if they were truly born transsexual it does not have to be right or correct nor is it an exercise in logic.  It is a fight for the very soul of their existence.

Transitioning is not a choice or even a decision nor is it ever right or correct for those born transsexual. It is a need.  It is necessity so we can actually live and in many cases survive. There is no "decision process" involved because it is not really a rational thing to do in a man's world. Why would a male want to be considered a female?  I got that question when I was seeing a multitude of shrinks from 8 to nearly 14 before I met Benjamin.

Then, those of us that take the decision and at some point down the road feel that they have become second class citizens, superficial acceptance is wearing thin, they find themselves back in the usual game of life with competitions and with everyday survival and find that they have become disadvantaged or have not improved on advantages by their decision.  They find they have lost their place in the gender binary and can be neither man nor woman, they are lost. Some hopeful, that the path they have taken will improve their life outside the immediate issues of gender dysphoria and they will find better work, better relationships, better partners and a better life. 
How would you know if you have not transitioned? Did you fail at transition before? Is life really a game like being transsexual seems to be for you? This nightmare called transsexualism is something most clinicians and frauds can never understand nor can they express it well in words because they look at it analytically and have never lived one second as a transsexual, barely able to function as a member of the human species, because when a transsexual reaches that point there is no logic, no decision necessary, and no right or correct there is just an I need to do this because my life is a lie, my being is a lie, and they are suffocating. Being born transsexual may be a medical condition but there is an emotional side this fool will never understand and it is the emotional side that drives us.

Transsexualism is emotionally debilitating to the point where it can consume your very essence. Being born transsexual eats at your very soul and makes the next day worse than the previous day because it never backs off.  It is why we sometimes do stupid things and we all do.  It is why we take chances to just make the pain go away and the only way it ever goes away is with surgery. If the pain stops with dressing then you are a transvestite.

Why would anyone transition because they thought they would improve on their advantages? That is both a baffling and disturbing comment.

At issue is the degree of illusion in the assessment of our experiences. Very often being in this situation we tend to form our own stories to occasion an outcome. That is, I believe the greatest danger, and does in some cases lead to ill-considered and even incorrect decisions.  There is an element of this in almost every narrative.  The question is how much.   If I look across the board of transsexual and transgendered persons that decide to transition, there appears to be an intersection of aspects which I feel determines correctness of the decision. 

You are obviously speaking about yourself with this broad brush comment. Wow, someone that has not transitioned can now determine the correctness of the decisions others have made as transsexuals.  It must be those 58 years of experience as a alpha male attorney that give you this insight.  What a load of rubbish.

Clearly, if you decide at a young age, motivations driving your decision is most often not a sober reflection but a spontaneous, in the moment, passionate process.  You throw your lot into a dark future, and you hope it returns to you the benefit that you hoped for.  The personality is unformed, very malleable and capable of a large degree of adaptation, that often the correctness of the decision is determined when the person has fully developed as a human being; hopefully. 

Now you think you understand what those of us felt when we went through this as kids or very young adults. You are a complete idiot. There is no "dark future" you fracking fool.  There is only light at the end of that nightmarish tunnel we have been desperately trying to drag ourselves out of. Anything female was always better than everything male we left behind and you will just never understand that because you will always be male.

 Not so for the so called late comers.  Our decisions are often sober, weighing all factors that by our experience, the impact on our world, family, friends and our work, our financial and social well being etc. Our personalities are fully formed, we have created a life for ourselves and we rest with confidence within ourselves; hopefully.
 Well I should say thank you because this self description paints "fraud" right on your forehead. So your well formed male personality is a benefit as a woman. I would really like that one to be explained but it cannot because it is total and utter bullshit and a comment only a male transvestite would consider cogent. You have reached the pinnacle of your life as a man with money, power, a wife, etc. and now it is time to play girl.

Young transitioners are adaptable.  They have the chance to make their decision correct by becoming who they are in time, working on themselves.  If they do not, they usually do not survive.  It is in this that convictions of women of history seem to lie that living firmly in the gender binary is the only way to live, and that those that don't meet the "normality" rules of general society in this regard  cannot be true transsexuals. I believe young transitioners successes have their foundation in who they become.

The only word I could initially come up with for this paragraph was absurd. So it is because we are adaptable that helps us young ones. How the heck would you know anything about that? Just for your knowledge we usually die before we are allowed to transition if under parental control or we run away and end up on the streets and die from the wrong decisions or despair. Somehow I knew you were into this concept of gender not being binary.

Just another little clue. Ones success is based on how hard you work at life and the funny thing is after transition and surgery life is this fresh path that we can finally follow as we should have been.  Life is a pleasure and yes it has its ups and downs but compared to being born transsexual it is a beautiful walk in Central Park on a warm and sunny Spring day.

Late comers have developed, we are often less adaptable by the time we reach our decision. We have made the best of our present life and cannot continue without being true to ourselves.  When successful, we build our new life on who we have become.  I believe our success has it's foundation in who we are.
So basically your success afterwards is based on your fully formed male personality so you really are just a "man in a dress" and thus will always be a man. Thanks for the clarification. By the way just where is your success if you have not transitioned yet?

Monty Python had "The Ministry of Silly Walks" and I am beginning to think we need "The Ministry of Silly Transvestites" for people like this.

The sad part about this post and other posts like this is people actually think like this.  It is now part of the process in some countries in dealing with transsexuals. A transsexual should never be emotional about this. Emotions are a sign of instability. Where did this come from? It came from fools like this that think it is some analytical and sober thought process that leads to transitioning and obtaining the surgical goal.

It is that total lack of emotional investment or emotional pain that is like a giant red flag to many of us when discussing late transitioners or in the case of this fool a very late 58 year old transitioner. There is nothing sober, logical, analytical, or clinical about being born transsexual. We consciously know we need to fix this and the intensity of that pain and drive to fix what is wrong stems from our very essence as a human and in the case of a transsexual it is that essence that tells you if you are male or female.

Transsexualism does not ever go away until after surgery.  It is there every single day of our lives and it is not something easily subsumed like this fool thinks it is. It is not something you have even the slightest control over. It is uncontrollable and totally consuming but then maybe that is "old school".

This 58 year old man has it all planned out. Transition on May 24, 2011. Surgery 14 months later, Role model for transsexuals. How nice and neat and convenient and surgical and soberly clinical and totally bogus it all is. He makes it sound like it is as logical as getting a flu shot. For him I guess it truly is. That does make one wonder. Doesn't it?

How can you write about transitioning if you have not experienced it? Damn Holiday Inn Express must have done it again!!!!


Leigh said...

You are feeding the tranny's dear .. didn't you see the sign ?

Let them have their delusions, for many it's all they have left. I have never been to T-Central, sounds like a place I would not want to be. I suggest you do likewise.

Anonymous said...

Used to like reading your blog.

Was interesting, now it's just full of hate.

live and let live why don't ya?


Anonymous said...

Every time a transsexual who has actually experienced the syndrome defines a transvestite out of and away from transsexuality some FW makes an accusation of "HATE"
anonymouse, why don't you realise that the kind of nonsense written by both Kathryn Martin and Common Terri are more damaging and hateful than these two essays ever could be? These essays are not even hateful dammit they are simply exposing TG fantasy for what it is.


Anonymous said...

After watching this sort of thing for many years, I've noted a number of analytical self-justifying "transsexuals" who "decide" to have SRS. In the several years after SRS, the percentage who de-transition, commit suicide or settle into a gender ambiguous twilight zone of unhappiness is surprisingly high. On the whole, being emotionally driven to transition seems more likely to have a successful result than making a dispassionate decision. Thoughtful and logical analysis isn't all it's cracked up to be.

- an old aunty

Anonymous said...

Not sure what ox is being gored here, but I was a late transitioner. Had SRS on my 63rd birthday. Still working my old job as a part time Senior Consultant eleven years later. Lost a wife; gained a husband; active in the community as a docent and citizen scientist. Became a nationally involved transactivist but now mostly administer an international trans chat service. Much of my current understanding of the transition 'process' came from living it and from helping others as they found their paths. Some of us transition successfully, albeit with some losses; some seem to self-destruct. IMHO, the help of an experienced gender counselor is essential.

Anne said...

"Some of us transition successfully, albeit with some losses; some seem to self-destruct. IMHO, the help of an experienced gender counselor is essential." ~reikirobyn

I agree that "the help of an experienced gender counselor is essential". I also think that perhaps your experience and persective would be MOST appreciated, certainly on my blog....

Teagan said...

Aunty, what's the percentage? Do you have a source? Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Teagan, please read what I wrote. It was an observation I made of people I knew. It was over a period of about ten years when I lived in the SF Bay. Happiness was not a function of age of transition, that I noticed. A number of the analytic types were in their twenties and happy outcome ones were in their fifties.

- an old aunty

Miz Know-It-All said...

Well hush my mouth! What-eva-do-you-mean going on that-a-way Liz. Of course Dear Ol' KM has got it licked afore (s)he lights out for Girl Town! After all (s)he was a high priced attorney with a wife, a career, a home and all the stuff that he and guys the plays he plays golf gotta have! In short KM was a man in charge, a power to be reckoned with and well he and men like him know simply everything? Why, just ask him if you don't believe me! (S)he will be more than happy to tell you how (s)he knows ever so much more than the little woman does about girl stuff! Well, I mean about the important stuff you know... not the silly things like other men or periods or babies, but important stuff like how to walk in high heels!

You know.. GIRL stuff!

Anonymous said...

Kathryn has her point of view, you have yours. Neither of you speaks for me. No one's personal experience applies to others.

I didn't decide to be born transsexual any more than I decided to have light brown eyes. Those are just part of me. I did, however, decide what to do about the former. I spoke with people and wrote letters. I changed my legal name. I made changes at work. I went through therapy and medical assessment. I took (and still take) my HRT dose every day. I sent in all the paperwork I needed in order to have SRS. I booked a return flight and paid for it. I flew there, underwent an operation, came home, recovered. I'm almost at the end of final documentation changes.

Was it logical to do any of this? No. That's where my experience is different than Kathryn's. Certainly at my age I had to take certain things into account, but once I knew what I had to do there was really no stopping me. I had to plan some things, but in a lot of ways I just rushed headlong into the process. I knew where I had to go. I needed to reach the goal very, very badly.

And yet none of that stuff above happened by itself. No one decided for me. I chose, over and over again, to make things right for myself. I might have chosen to stay miserable, to drink myself to death, to resist happiness. Some people do that. I couldn't. But that doesn't mean I was swept up in some life-changing event not of my own making. I take full responsibility for doing what I did. It was a decision mostly of the heart, but a decision nonetheless. And it was the best decision I ever made.

I didn't decide to be who I was. I decided to do something about it. If you say you didn't decide, well, then you didn't. That's you.

Christy Martins said...

Elizabeth honey, if you really are who you claim to be then why no recent photos? Why no pics of yourself that are less than 40 years old?

I bet the reason you have not is your body and face have continued to become more masculine as you've aged and you look like a grizzled hack now. Hormones, SRS and a "hollywood" nose job don't stop the progression do they?

If that's not true, then post a clear picture of yourself as you are now; that shouldn't really be a big deal.

Oh and while you are at it, can you out me next please? Cause being outed is one my hottest transvestite fantasies...please make it come true for me.

Elizabeth said...


I have never outed anyone just for clarification and I am not about to start with myself. Now if that bothers you then go to your fetish-world life website and have your mistress punish you for an evening.

Oh I am so hurt by your comments which coming from "Bitterness Barbie" the transvestite fetish queen just really hurts horribly. I mean I am just humbled.

I have aged normally like any woman my age because there is no testosterone production of note in my body.

Nobody in the world gives a shit about some fucked up man like yourself that enjoys jerking off in his panties yet wants to be called she.
Plus with the hooter you have for a nose I would not be calling into question any persons nose. One deep breath by you through your nose and half the room would be pulled in.

Isn't it time to play dress up with the boys on a "girls" night out? There are lots of transvestites you can play girl with on T-Central. Now be a good boy and go away.

Anonymous said...

As usual some transvestite must come along and nip at the ankles of someone long post correction.

Christy go away maybe you should go and masturbate or something.

Anonymous said...

For those of you that don't know what living with TS feels like its a lot like this:

Imagine you are a woman that has lost her breasts and reproductive system to cancer, its years now the pain is gone, you survived and your body has healed, you look in the mirror at your scared deformed body and wonder if your a woman anymore having lost so much. Do you feel like a woman, yes, do you feel less then a woman, yes, take that feeling and multiply it about 4x and you get what I felt most of my life everyday.

Now imagine if someone told you they could fix it. Wouldn't you take it... well i did, now i am living a happy healthy life. If you have TS its like a cancer, just because you ignore it and dont treat it, doesnt mean it goes away, it just simply grows till you cant ignore it anymore.