Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Toilets and Power

This entire flap over who can use whose toilets is being thought of from the wrong angle in my opinion. It simply comes down to a little honesty on the part of all involved.  Honesty you say? Okay, I will admit there is not a lot of that in the so-called Trans community these days.  It is more like positioning themselves for the upcoming war by pissing on the appropriate tree hoping it will scare away the other Trans in the Trans community. Before anyone jumps down my throat one must realize that in the animal kingdom females spray trees also to mark territory.
Expecting honesty from most of power brokers in the Trans community is not happening. It simply does not matter whether the power broker is transsexual or transgender. Not one of them will tell you the truth about their true motives because as Lord Acton said:
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men."
The English politician William Pitt, the Elder, the Earl of Chatham and Prime Minister from 1766 to 1778 is sometimes wrongly associated with this comment but his comment is also quite apt. He said:
"Unlimited power is apt to corrupt the minds of those who possess it"
It should be noted I do not agree with the comment that “Great men are almost always bad men” unless one means they are flawed as humans which most great men have been. This also includes great women.
Most leaders believe they are infallibly correct and are constantly trying to firm up their position of leadership and eventually get lost in the rhetoric of their own beliefs. Look at the local politician of the day and you will find the need to firm up their credentials as a “conservative” or a “liberal” here in the United States. The people in the middle are just fodder that the “self appointed” or even “elected” leaders abuse at their whim. A politician moves to the middle at the risk of offending their “base”. Of course what they always fail to mention is the base is composed of crazies on both sides.
Over on Pam's House Blend  Sandeen is on a rant about ENDA and the removal of the “bathroom” issue it. First I need to say something about ENDA and it is simple. If the ENDA supporters insist on use of the term transgender and not transsexual it is doomed to die an inglorious death as it should.  Any company that uses Transgender leaves itself open to the “gender expression” crowd and no business can be operated with employees “expressing” whatever gender they feel like on a specific day of the week. Multiple companies openly support transsexuals and are incredibly supportive and this movement is growing but it will be destroyed and stop if they must support the “gender” of the day crowd.  This is my opinion only and is based on 40+ years of working as a woman in the “real world” and unfortunately many think transgender implies transsexual and we all know it does not.
Only a fool would think a company would support a cross-dresser or a transvestite at work.  This said because someone is someone who occasionally expresses a different gender away from work is not a valid reason for termination and they should be protected from this form of discrimination but we all know this is not the aim of most in the Transgender leadership.  If it was they would have my support.
The issue about toilets is actually quite humorous. My first reaction is why would a man want to enter a woman’s toilet?  As a woman I have no interest in entering a male only toilet unless I am a masochist or selling services or the ladies room is closed and making it to the next ladies toilet is problematic. I have actually used the men’s room several times and simply said “sorry guys but ladies room is out and this outfit is too expensive for an accident” and universally they were welcoming and actually prevented other men from entering until I was finished. I admit I have the advantage of “blending” well as a woman but most men are gentleman about it.
First I need to admit it is not in my nature to confront someone in a ladies restroom based on gender or my assumption of their gender. I always assume they are transsexual and just trying to get through the nastiness that we all fought through with that condition. There is also the odd chance it is just some butt ugly genetic woman and any confrontation would be ugly so I guess everyone is safe from me since it is not in my nature to hurt someone without cause.
I need some clarification by those that are not transsexual on this issue because I am a little confused.
Is having the ability to use a ladies restroom part of the fantasy? 
If you do not want to be a woman then why is it so important to drop into the ladies room to perform your duties?
Why not use the men’s room and let them know you are one of them?
Is it fear of a physical confrontation that prevents you from using the men’s room?
I really have no issue with anyone expressing their gender and if they are willing to venture out into the “real world” and risk the embarrassment of being exposed as “men in a dress” then they certainly are courageous or maybe foolish or maybe just a little bit of an exhibitionist but as long as it is legal then go for it.
The problem I see is one of dishonesty. If you are men and enjoy staying men then why can’t you admit that to yourself and just use the men’s room en femme and let the chips fall where they will? Why do we women have to honor your need to complete the fantasy by opening our ladies room to you? I actually have an answer for this and it is simple. It is quite unequivocally because as men you think you control women and they will do what you want or you will force us to do it. Deny it all you want but it is the truth.
If someone came into a ladies room and someone else confronted them and they identified as a transsexual I would defend them.  If they identify as transgender they are on their own because I am unclear whether you are transsexual or just in gender expression mode.
What it really comes down to is that most horrible of all things involved in gender and that is “passing”.  Most of the gender expression crowd demanding the use of my toilets cannot “pass” and they expect us women to put up with their “expression” or in some sad cases their caricature of us. Sorry but that is just so freaking “male” it makes me want to puke.  Be honest and be a “real man” and wear your dress into the men’s room and tell them the ladies toilet is broken and maybe you will get the thrill of your life as they treat you like a woman. If not well you are a man.  Defend yourself like a man instead of pushing us around.


Stephanie said...

The only solution to "the bathroom issue" is co-ed bathrooms. A door on every stall. No one sees you.

Anne said...

Right!! And I suppose the Boys will have to give up their communal urinals and put up with us girls "squatting" in THEIR space. GET REAL!