Monday, February 14, 2011

Just who is morally Bankrupt here?

I have learned a lot of valuable lessons with this venture onto the internet. I was actually involved with certain aspects of the internet in the early years at CIT and then at UMB. Initially it was academic inspired and then it was research and development for a Company in Massachusetts working closely with MIT when I moved back to Massachusetts.
When you read of people implying they have been on the internet since its beginning they are talking about the explosion of usage directly related to the explosion in ownership of personal computers. This occurred in the early to mid 90’s and was interesting because for a lot of us our little private secret went public.
The ARPA/DARPA idea for a methodology to handle digital communications on the battlefield began as a Defense Department initiative with the help of several academic institutions and it led to your ability to read this post. So if someone says I was there at the beginning   realize to most the beginning was around 15 years ago when in reality it was actually 41 years ago.
I am amused when certain people criticize me for being “some 40 year postop that came out of nowhere” onto the internet and in their view this somehow correlates to being suspicious. Well I have never been an activist but I was a member of the first transsexual group on AOL back in the day when we used dial-up phones because hi-speed internet access was really just a dream basically everywhere. I was not very vocal but I listened.
I found most of the people in that forum to be slightly different than I imagined but and this is a big but nobody thought I was a fraud or gay, a transvestite, or a transgender activist attempting to subvert the rights of transsexuals. Were transgender people a threat then?
I never did spend a lot of time in the forum but it had the same loons then as we have now but they were a little more civilized. I left when the “it is a privilege to be born transsexual” crowd began to appear but I have been online every year since the public internet began.
I have been in different forums over the years and knew Lynn Conway back in the day when she had only been publically out for a short time and she tried to convince me to go public which I would never do. I have friends online that I communicated with for over 12 years through email and yes even in 3D a couple of times.
I could not keep up with what is now described as the “Community” because I was married to a great man and I traveled a lot because of business and in truth because it was getting ugly on the internet. The “you are an elitist” crowd began to show up and it immediately became apparent to me they wanted to remove most “old timers” from relevance. They thought the old timers had influence because they were there “in the beginning” and since power and control was the aim the old timers must go.
For those not familiar with the term “old timer” it began as a way to denigrate many of us that were involved in the nastiness of being born transsexual in the 40’s and 50’s and even the 30’s for a few. When one is after influence and power it is a negative influence if the professional activists think some “old timer” might have relevance.
The irony of this thought process is I know of few “old timers” that feel they are in any way better than anyone else. Most of us were just happy to survive and the vast majority left and blended into society as best they could and lived the life they had wanted. There were some that did not and even “back in the day” we had professional transsexuals so maybe those are the ones people are or were worried about.
I know it is politically incorrect to some but we were mainly heterosexual girls with the occasional lesbian girl that wanted a life away from being transsexual and I was not alone in wanting children. The fact I was able to raise my husband’s daughter from his first marriage is still the greatest joy of my life and being able to adopt her was priceless. I raised her for 14 years until he remarried and he took her from me.  There was really nothing I could do since he was the “blood” parent.  It is the reason I left California and moved back to Massachusetts.  I needed to be near my daughter.
I was under no obligation to pay a penny of child support for my daughter but why would I want to be out of her life? I knew if I fought him for custody there was that issue in the background but I had met his new wife and I actually liked her so we came to an accommodation. Like most good parents my love for her was unconditional and I knew my ex-husband felt the same way. In a rarity we decided to be civil parents and not end up in a fight over custody and life went on.
I have read with great interest the stories of many of my sisters that were married with children and just could not fight this transsexual crap any longer. There really is a point in every single transsexual’s life where it is just too much to deal with and you need to solve the problem. The one thing that has struck me and moved me is how devoted all of them have been to any children they helped bring into this world.
One can read the pain in their posts as they begin to deal with both a spouse and possibly children. I will probably never understand how they can marry and have children but many of the transsexuals Harry dealt with did and I am sure many of them will never understand what I went through as a child. It does not mean I would demean them or hurt them because they are different. In fact I have more respect for them because of how they put the welfare of their children ahead of themselves. It is what parents do even when they have brutally difficult decisions to make about their own personal issues.
I know a little about that problem but from a slightly different aspect. When my daughter was taken by her father I realized I needed to tell her about me. Don’t ask me why I felt that I did because I have no idea why. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but she simply said “you will always be my mom” and in a way I expected it but I was relieved also. She knew I was not her birth mother but maybe the fact I was a doting mother paid some dividends.  We are as close if not closer today as we were then.
If there is one thing that really irritates women it is any parent that harms a child in any manner. I am not and never have been a proponent of the death penalty since it seems too arbitrary and racially biased as in too many minorities are executed verses non minorities. When it comes to harming children or killing children I have no moral issues.  I would pull the switch myself. You harm my child or any other child and so help me god I will get you somehow if I have a chance.
This leads to the actual point of this post. If a parent fails to pay child support deliberately it is a crime. If a parent crosses state lines to deliberately avoid paying child support it can be either a federal misdemeanor or a federal felony both of which result in automatic jail time. Either way the deadbeat goes to jail.
In order for a parent to be classified as a deadbeat parent and have their driving license suspended the time since last payment and amount owed must be egregious. In other words the deadbeat does not give a crap and has either disappeared locally or run to avoid paying child support.  In general it is the father that is the deadbeat but a mother may also be a deadbeat parent.
I have been accused by several people of being both chickenshit and morally bankrupt for disclosing these facts about Aria Blue. I have to agree with them in all honesty. I was a chickenshit and morally bankrupt for not reporting to the authorities what state she lives in so they can find her deadbeat worthless ass. I regret that.
So if I am a chickenshit and morally bankrupt for telling about a deadbeat parent and feel guilty for not reporting the deadbeat parent to the correct authorities what does that make those that have called me the above and worse? It cannot be denied because it is a fact.  If it was resolved all Aria had to do was say it was resolved rather than claim it was a smear campaign. It is still a very active case.
Most of these same assholes have accused me of being a transvestite, gay, a man, and a fraud yet I have stayed and fought because they are lying about me. If I was Aria and innocent as her supporters claim then I would have stayed and fought.  Well, I guess that would be true if they actually claimed she had not done this dirty deed but none of them actually have if you read closely.
If they knew about it before I disclosed it then they are pathetic worms. If they knew about it afterwards and decided to make me the issue they are hypocrites, chickenshit, and as morally bankrupt as Aria. If they have not bothered to ask Aria then they are just pathetic since the only question they need to ask was simple? Why would Aria run and hide if she was in the right?
I have no issue with people that make mistakes and own up to them and take responsibility for them and face the consequences like an adult. What makes it worse in my mind is Aria is attempting to claim the moral high ground despite the fact someone who knew what she was involved in called her on it. Poor Aria has been shamed for being a cretin.
I see what I did as something any woman would do. No woman will stay quiet when a deadbeat parent is discovered and there is no reason for anyone to stay quiet.  A child has been hurt.
The reaction of the “You broke the code of silence” club appears like a clear cut case of some ridiculous secret men’s club.  Well I do not belong to that club and never have and will never keep quiet when I find something like this. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves for supporting a deadbeat parent of any type. Why do I doubt any of you are ashamed?


Anne said...

Interesting post on a couple of points. The first being the relatively recent explosion of information technology. It came upon me sometime in the mid-nineties at a time in my life when I was fully engaged in a very successful business.

Mine was a 'niche' business, and I had neither the time nor the interest in this "new fangled hi-tech, whatever it was". My point is that, like a true and dedicated ludite I was dragged kicking and screaming into the computer age and it was not until a few years later, after I had retired, that I became fully aware of its potential.

A few years later, I was disembarking a trans Atlantic cruise in Ft. Lauderdale and read about the then ongoing mean spirited, media debacle involving the "outing" of Susan Stanton in her efforts to transition on the job. The results of that 'outing' and the resulting feeding frenzy by the media is what finally drove home the concept that what I had not just survived, but overcome, that condition now known or described as a total psycho sexual inversion or transsexualism was something that was STILL, more than 40 years after I had finally been set free from the madness, TOTALLY MIS-UNDERSTOOD AND MIS-REPRESENTED.

I started to poke around on the internet and found that there was a transgender health conference in Philadelphia that upcoming week.
My husband flew home and I caught a train to Philadephia.

What I found at this large Nat'l. Conference was TG Inc at its finest. All the "big names" were there, Donna Rose, Kim Pearson, Jamison Greene, a noted IS psych/writer named Hawke and many many others. There were easily 1,000's of TG's, GQ's TV's and MAYBE even a few bona fide TS's in transition.

The first thing that I noticed was that I did not even speak the language. I did not know what a TG or a GQ was. I guess my point is, not all of us are or were Internet Warriors. I was too busy just living my life.

What hurts is that when I did finally return to lend a helping hand, maybe offer bit of perspective, I get POUNDED first as a fake, then the interminable list of TG hate speech like, bigot, elitist, separatist etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. I was even threatened with being publically outed myself for having the temrity to disagree with the Ruling Elite of TG Inc.

So yes. Your issue with Aria is a valid one. Aria and her pack of dogs need to be exposed for the loud mouthed, wanna-be elitist, insecure power mongers that they are. We all have our demons, but it would seem that those living in glass houses, should not be throwing stones. One can only hope that Aria has learned her lesson well.

Traci said...

The problem with communities, particularly large and diverse ones, is that people have the tendency to form castes and ranks (the TG umbrella and the GBLT sandwich being obvious examples), and I think this is human nature, which is probably why I never felt at home in any self-described community and have always sought out my own smallish networks with people I care about. In transition my network was made up of young college-bound transsexual friends I could relate to; after transition we've all gone mostly our separate ways and my network is just my family, friends, workmates, and other flesh-and-blood people who mean a lot to me. These are the people who matter. I think the blogosphere is just another acrimonious community and the internet makes opaque or invisible one's true history and real-life circumstances, whether the case is Aria's history or people who don't know Liz questioning hers. And the elitism that comes with communities just seems to get more extreme online than in real-life 3D interaction.

I guess there is the age-old generational disconnect between the younger and the older, with the young often devaluing the experience of those with more experience. When I was young, I felt I didn't have that much in common with late transitioners married with children than people my age, but that was not a simple age thing but that we each had our own different complex of life issues. Now that I am in my forties rather than my twenties, I'm actually now more interested in learning from those with greater life experience post-transition.

Liz, thanks for sharing the story about your daughter.

Anonymous said...

All parents instinctively put their children's needs and welfare before their own. Mothers especially will feed clothe and groom children well before attending her own needs. Fathers, decent Fathers will do the same.
Transsexuals who become trapped through the mistake of forcing themselves to marry and found families carry a mighty heavy burdon and cost for their new lives. Many will buckle under the weight of that responsibility and it is a terrible burdon to carry.
Were it not for the viciousness of the various attacks by Aria on innocent readers of Aria Blue I might have been able to find compassion. As it stands there is even now a silent clandestine conspiracy working secretly against those who oppose Aria. This particular campaign is not one waged openly in debates on open forums and blogs it is one waged through secret emails and bogus searches for "true identities" This leaves any "victim" powerless and unable to defend themselves and their integrity.
Behaviour like this that demonises those who exposed the fraud are not the actions of someone contrite that their disgraceful behaviour has been called out and exposed for what it is but the attitude of a weak charector angry that they have been caught out.


Sophie said...

A phrase Aria used one time always puzzled me. She wrote that if a 'true, classic TS' woman like herself was outed there was a strong probability that they'd suicide and that this could only be understood by someone with the self same condition.
It was just so patently false that there had to be something else behind it. Good to know what it was.