Monday, December 17, 2012

Christine Benvenuto vs Joy (Jay) Ladin

A funny thing happened when Jay Ladin decided to become Joy Ladin in the middle of his very dominant male life as the husband in an Orthodox Jewish Marriage, his wife woke up. I am sure Mr. Ladin never thought that would happen because he knew his wife, as a timid and supportive woman that single handed was raising their three children while substitute teaching in their locale of South Hadley Massachusetts, plus doing part time editing work for publishers. This enclave just off I-91 is a bastion of Liberalism in the midst of a group of elite small colleges and the University of Massachusetts. It is a beautiful place to live and raise a family but god help you if you stray from the politically correctness of the left.

If you have read any of Joy Ladin's self aggrandizing articles and her memoir it becomes quite apparent she is obsessed with describing herself as brave, courageous, steadfast, heroic, strong, and conveniently a transsexual when use of the word carries importance. Joy Ladin described Christine as a stay at home wife who did not work which is the first of his many lies.  There is no question he was the primary bread winner but substitute teaching in 3 local school systems, editing manuscripts for publishers while raising 3 children while hubby was teaching at Yeshiva in New York City, is far from not working. Only a man would assume that Christine  Benvenuto was not working twice as hard as any man but then mothers never are appreciated by certain men.

In this article in the Mail Online Joy Ladin brings forth the ultimate nightmarish image for any Jew when she claims she lived in "her own concentration camp" and somehow escaped and became a "heroine of the transgender community". This article was okay even though they used the he word for pre Joy. Typical of all of his comments, articles and his memoir he took nasty shots at his ex-wife. Notice the political correctness when saying "her wife" yet a slip-up using he later but alas this was a positive review and was soothing to his male ego. Don't you think "her wife" is kind of insulting to Christine? After all she is a heterosexual woman and is not nor has she ever been lesbian but then non trans people have no rights any longer when dealing with the transgendered.

During arguments with her wife, she recalls wanting to explain: 'This isn’t a typical male midlife crisis - it’s a typical transsexual midlife crisis.'
As a man, Jay Ladin always knew he liked to dress in women's clothing and was honest about his tendencies with his then girlfriend in college. 

Joy has come up with a new and better narrative by now.  It was not his fault because he told the girlfriend he was transsexual and a cross-dresser before they were married. The simple truth is based on what happened that is a complete lie. No woman would accept a man under those conditions and then dump him and be as angry as she was when it happened.  Someone is lying here and even in this he said-she said I believe Christine Benvenuto.  Why would a catholic girl convert to Judaism under those circumstances? They would not.

The following excerpt from this interview says it all.

When the walls of her 'private concentration camp finally collapsed' in 2005, Ms Ladin's wife refused to approve of what she saw as the destruction and erasure of their lives together. 
'Most literature on transsexuality implies that there is a moral obligation for others to recognize the supremacy of the transsexual’s needs,' writes the professor. 
But her wife was not like everyone else. Her 'courage' as a young adult to resist the moral decree that a woman should always put others' needs before her own - that had once been the object of her husband's admiration - now stood in the way of her acceptance of his true identity. 
'Rather than swallowing her pain and focusing on my mine, she decided to fight for her life,' Ms Ladin explains in the book. 'If I had been faithless, she would be faithful.
'If I denied the reality of the man she loved, she would mourn and defend him.'

There is a moral obligation for others to recognize the supremacy of the transsexual's needs? Actually he means it was his Jewish Wife's moral obligation to support her "trans" husband! Where the heck did that drivel come from? First rule of men in a dress is their needs are supreme over every one else's needs and there is nothing like an arrogant late transitioner that has had time to line up his narrative and learn it well and his wife be damned if she decides to burst his bubble and tell the truth. These words are from Christine's ex-husband and they condemn him for what he is and it is not transsexual.

The real problem is Christine Benvenuto is contradicting her ex-husbands grandiose opinion of himself and is calling into open question the veracity of his claims and then this self-described intellectual opens his mouth and proceeds to prove to anyone truly born transsexual, early or late transition, that he is so full of shit he should provide hip-boots to wade through his crap.

Jay Ladin's arrogance knows no bounds and he is a good writer with an abounding ability to emphasize his bravery and his wife's cowardice for not accepting him and fearing for the worst. After all a wife in a good Jewish marriage supports her husband at all costs.

In this New Haven News essay Joy Ladin discusses going through adolescence in mid-life and of course his bravery and courage are at the forefront and he often comments how he proves his wife "wrong" when he walks down streets in a dress and high heels with his new friend Nancy, she helps dress him and encourages him, as he struts his stuff as a woman. It reads like something written by the transvestites on T-Central except it is well written with his grandiose style.  You have to realize that he was a literary nobody before he became  the celebrity transgender heroine of his dreams.  Now he is praised by former Pulitzer prize winners because he is the current flavor of the month.

This is the same man that tried to gain custody of his middle daughter because his wife was not teaching her to be feminine enough. This is the man that admitted he had dressup dates with this same daughter where he asked his then 7-8 year old daughter how she thought he would look in certain outfits. This is verified by the son who is the oldest. This is a man that cross-dressed in front of his 2 year old when still living with the wife for the two years after his announcement. She was kinder than I would have been and was. I would have thrown his worthless ass out then and there but she actually did try and be a good wife or spouse.

Christine's memoir of what happened is how she viewed it and is told from the viewpoint of a woman conflicted by her love for this man who has suddenly decided to be a woman and the need to keep her family together and to protect her children. Joy Lain wrote a memoir with his view of the events but his wife is not allowed such a privilege even though she is a better writer than this self-absorbed man in a dress which he technically still is.

I wonder how they would feel at Yeshiva University if he decided to shower and get naked with the coeds?

There was nothing intolerant about the the article Christine Benvenuto wrote.  The Gazette commissioned it and approved it and PAID for it and it was at their suggestion she write the article. They were bullied into pulling it based on the claims of some that it was transphobic. Please point out the transphobic part of the article. Margaret Cerullo led a protest when Ms Benvenuto had a book reading at Amherst Books. They were loud and extremely vulgar despite the fact young children where in the store and the protest was violent enough for the Police Department to be called. Like a bunch of angry men they screamed and yelled in protest of a book not one single member of the protest group has admitted to reading. Excerpts were enough to censor a book and I am sure they would have held a book burning if given the chance.

Cerullo is a Sociology Professor at Hampshire College and teaches "Queer Studies" which is odd because being trans has nothing to do with "Queer Studies" but then Joy Ladin teaches English in the Women's college at Yeshiva and he has not one thing in common with women including packing and keeping his penis. If you read his musings you will find little to no reference to undergoing a "sex change" because after all it is not necessary for a man in touch with his frilly dress and heels side. Isn't it ironic that so-called feminists jump to the side of man who claims to be a woman yet requires his penis to function. They must have a new breed of feminists at Hampshire College.

I would recommend certain commenters actually read a lot of what Joy Ladin has written but then most make up their opinion based on their stance on the TG mafia which has certainly reared its ugly head in the Christine Benvenuto assault. Read his claims that he was in his own "private" concentration camp because he was "trans".  Funny thing is those interned in concentration camps had no chance to "escape", they only had to die.  Joy Ladin could escape her "self-described" private concentration camp at any time by simply doing what was necessary but unlike her self belief she is a heroine she is actually a callous coward that destroyed a family and then pretended it was the wife's fault.  How so very manly of Joy Ladin.

Joy Ladin is a typical delusional transgender nitwit that grasped onto the term "transsexual" because he felt it would get him sympathy. He has changed his narrative more times than one can count and he becomes brave and more heroic with every nuance he adds yet it reads like the narrative of a child transsexual just trying to survive her living nightmare but brave Jay managed to hold out tell he was in his mid forties. Has anyone ever read where a transsexual has said they would "die" if they could not wear a dress? We might die but it will be because we cannot somehow obtain SRS which Joy Ladin seems not to need.

As a woman that went through something similar it shook me to the core because I was deeply hurt also but not as deeply as Christine.  I was independent enough to tell mine to move out right now but he was like a bad cold because I could not get rid of him.  Christine does not speak with her ex and I wish I was in that position but I am not.

As a woman I side with Christine because what she has written is from the heart and as accurate as one can make it when a family is torn apart. The only ones that treat the wife like Jay Ladin are his fellow transvestites. Every late transitioner I know or have read about that was transsexual had a lot of guilt over what happened to their wife.  Some wives seem to be strong enough to stay with the new spouse but the spouse has the right to be upset and angry of this type of betrayal and only those with no experience in life as a woman and a mother could possibly side with Joy Ladin but then some support the Transgender regardless of what they do.

It really does make you wonder what kind of a woman does that. Jay Ladin is now a heroic spokesperson for the Transgender Mafia and like all good male thugs he expects no objections and that includes from his wife. After all women should be seen and not heard and this is a classic example.

I would tell you to go frak yourself but the only place your dilator will find a home is up your ass and that is kind of fitting.


Anonymous said...

I wonder how you know so much about this situation and specifically about Ladin. Some of it must be guessing. I'm not saying you're wrong. But you're not friends with Ms. Benvenuto and you sure as hell aren't friends with Joy Ladin.

Thank you for your insights.

Elizabeth said...

The memoir Joy Ladin wrote and Google Search since Joy Ladin is very much a chatty Kathy promoting Joy Ladin and never stops taking pot shots at the ex-wife.

Elizabeth said...

The memoir Joy Ladin wrote and Google Search since Joy Ladin is very much a chatty Kathy promoting Joy Ladin and never stops taking pot shots at the ex-wife.

Kathryn Dumke said...

"There is a moral obligation for others to recognize the supremacy of the transsexual's needs?"

Even though this is attributed to him and I have yet to find the specific quote, it is a very typical illusion transgender persons transitioning late tend to have. They often believe that a life of suppression of self marginalizes them in their own eyes and feel a corresponding entitlement that they must be loved in their struggle.

It creates a tendency to lash out in response to any reaction to what they do that is not "you poor soul" kind.

The result is that what their spouses feel is ignored, devalued and an utterly immoral expectation created that spouses must support.

In this case it goes further in my view. Reading some of the various articles (I have yet to read more than excerpts from his book) Ladin has written, in the subtext he makes Christine responsible for his suffering. For instance he says that he resisted her wish to have children (which of course by his participation were conceived) because it heightened his anguish over his gender issues and reminded him of everything he could not be creating an inference that somehow Christine was at least partially responsible for his anguish.

He said:

I had my own unspeakable reasons. I knew my wife’s pregnancy would confront me with gender realities I was desperate to avoid. Playing the male role in the drama of reproduction would seal my non-existence, make my capitulation to biology official. I was bitter that my wife wanted me to fulfill her life’s desire when she had denied me mine; overwhelmed by jealousy that it wouldn’t be my body swelling, giving birth, nursing;


He does recognize in the article that there is no support for spouses.

I have looked but been unable to find if he had surgery. Any mention in this regard is of some years ago and prospective, as "..after she will have srs...". Maybe you know more about this.

Anonymous said...

@Elizabeth You can certainly glean information from those sources but you need to understand that this man lies, re-imagines and reinvents constantly. Everything is written for an audience and even the most private thoughts are considered as a potentially public narrative.

Stephanie said...

Your always looking for some one to slam, to put down. Apparently you say stealth so no one can write an exposing expose' about you. There's always skeletons in the closet. When yours become exposed everyone will laugh at you for be such A**
Let's hope it's soon, your getting up there in years you know.

Elizabeth said...


Well we here from the peanut gallery again and in this case I mean the peanut brain gallery. Now why would it surprise me that an old transvestite like you would support Joy Ladin?

My skeletons are mostly public asshole and really you need to work on your comb-over since the male pattern baldness is showing through as is your male nature dipshit.

I'll be 67 in a few weeks and unlike you I have lived my life to the fullest but then cowards like you wish others ill will and death. I actually feel sorry for you because I realize you are too fraking stupid to actually understand how DUMB you come off.

One has to be sorry for white Arkansas trailer trash because after all being stupid is a way of life for you morons. That and drugs, booze and inbreeding. Is your wife your first cousin?

Anonymous said...

Here's an Interesting blog post about a Transwachtivist attacking a 6 yr old because the 6 yr old would not play along with his mental delusions.

Anonymous said...

Ladin at it again. This dick just cannot stop lying, with his own particular brand of lying. Its an incredibly disturbed form of obfuscating in which he just decides to rewrite history and does so with such a reasonable tone that you never suspect that he is a pathological liar. Check this:

Hi - thanks for noting the pairing of my and my ex's memoirs about my transition. I have one correction: despite internet rumors to the contrary, I haven't been involved in any censorship efforts. There was a peaceful protest against the transphobic content of my ex's book at her book launch; I heard about it after the event. There was no attempt to stop the local press from covering my ex's book, though I have tried (in vain) to get the paper to take down the nasty transphobic comments that attack me personally on the website. One of my ex's blog posts, on kveller, was taken down, but that was because of a protest by other kveller writers and various Jewish leaders who felt that the combination of personal assault and transphobia in her essay made it inappropriate for a Jewish parenting website. That movement wasn't led by trans people, and again, I wasn't involved in it. I agree with you - censorship is bad, even of hate speech. Joy Ladin

This is at:

First off, Ladin wasn't at the event led by self-hating, censorship-loving misogynist Margaret Cerullo of Hampshire College. Cerullo was screaming vile epithets and the event had to be broken up by police. This is Ladin's vision of a "peaceful protest." I understand that this was not even a public book launch and reading, it was a private event. How did Cerullo and others even know the event was taking place? No matter how you cut it, Ladin is a pathological prick.

Stephanie said...

You might notice that I don't put down anyone. I think that this world should be a live and let live place. You one the other hand can't keep your mouth shut about anyone. Write about yourself, or maybe that's just too boring. Your just a blip on this planet, while you can slam everyone else on this planet you think you know something about. You've misjudged me and now my wife. How many others no you think you've misjudged? My guess would be everyone, for you know very few sitting at your anonymous keyboard. ....Chickenshit....

Elizabeth said...



You don't put anyone down because you are feeling too sorry for yourself and how unfortunate you were and are. By the way I have never wished harm on anyone as you have on me but then Arkansas trailer trash were always very low on the IQ chart.

It takes much more courage to live as a regular woman in this world than it does to be an "out" and "proud" member of the TG community because we have to be women, live as women, work as women, and be discriminated against as women while you get to be "trans" your entire rest of your pathetic life with fellow TG loons telling you how great you are. News flash, you and they are fools.

Nope, the real chickenshits are people like you and your ilk living the fantasy "female" life with your penis intact and every fraking person in the world knowing it. The problem is you are too illiterate to realize it.

Anonymous said...

@Stephanie, I love the way you say "I don't put down anyone" and in the very next few sentences say this:-

"You one the other hand can't keep your mouth shut about anyone. Write about yourself, or maybe that's just too boring. Your just a blip on this planet, while you can slam everyone else on this planet you think you know something about."

I seriously think that you have swallowed the TG lie for so long and so deeply that you honestly believe it. I find that quite sad and because of that I pity you. The harsh reality of life in this world is that someone's silence in the face of something with which they disagree or do not like, should never be assumed as their acceptance of it. Most often their silence is driven by their wish to remain civil and polite.

When women like Liz speak out against the kind of chutzpah that the likes of Jay Ladin perpetrate. The injustice that Jay Ladin in particular has inflicted upon his wife and children. Do you not think that her words and opinions might be motivated from a sense of injustice and from a position that enables her to see the reality of what Jay Ladin has done?

Jay Ladin has abdicated all responsibility for his family while Christine Benevenuto shoulders the burden of all that he as abdicated as well as the social fall out of his behaviour. He then tries to silence her when she speaks about how his actions have affected her and the family he has permanently damaged.

Apparently you are blind to all that and are concerned only about wrongs you perceive as being perpetrated on you and Jay Ladin. Shame on you Stephanie shame on you. It makes you either a particularly nasty piece of work and about as smart as chunk of rock or a selfish man. My money is betting on both.


Stephanie said...

138 IQ, 58 yrs. of putting up with people such as you. People who hate just to hate. And enough years of not being able to transition properly when I was young to have learned what prejudging people that I don't know to keep my mouth shut. You on the other hand seem to know everything about everyone. You don't know me, and I wouldn't give you the chance to know me. I know enough about you to know that I wouldn't want to meet you. Your prejudice, opinionated, and self absorbed. I doubt there is anyone who would want you.

Now I'll go about my life just like I always have. Transition? I never transitioned. I just put on different clothes and lived like I always did. Just as myself.

Black Swan said...

You may as well come here with a big sign on your back that says, "Kick Me--Harder!" O.M.G! When are you going to learn? I can only draw so much fire for you. You see Liz couldn't hurt me if she had a howitzer and blazed me with every dirty word, outed me, showed me fornicating with an orgy of midgets on YouTube, which never happened... but would be funny. I'm especially fond of her claiming in a screechy voice, "You tried to hurt me first by looking up a case I brag about on my blog." Its a hysterical canard of logic. I can't find the darn case so I have to assume it never existed.

Whew--the world didn't end.

Black Swan said...

I have to concede this is clearly a case of jilted ex-spouse vs ex-spouse--the only modus driving the controversy. With Joy "Jay" Ladin having a bit of a publicity upper-hand by being a new covert to the religion called Transgender or so it may seem. The majority LGB are backing the populous 'T' movement and its now passe to foist criticism on anything deemed GAY or gay by association. Yes it does stop rational criticism, I don't disagree with that. You see transgender (and by derivation transsexual) are long form, from societies limited understanding, as being equivalent to gay, thanks in part to the transgender PR machine. Since this TG paradigm is given medical legitimacy would Christine Benvenuto's memoir reflect a different characterization of Joy Ladin if Jay was stricken with a terminal illness?

The difference: You reject the medical model because in your reasoning 'Jay' had a lapse in judgement and choose to destroy 'his' family by exercising 'his' fetish, to historical Orthodox Jewish thinking an abomination. Your argument is only feasible if you can prove; (1) Ladin choose to be transsexual and (2) what he's doing, transitioning, is an injustice within the family context. The problem you run into is one of equivalents; in Ladin's case an orgasm would defenistrate the need to transition, so it isn't a fetish in this case. Its good to see the Orthodox Jewish quelled dissent to transsexuality, and you KNOW they objected, they've done so historically, don't they also have a right to rational criticism? You seem a bit reticent about the Jewish community not criticizing his choice to be transsexual.

Since what is left over is true, Joy Ladin has a medical condition that requires support. However, the level of the ".... supremacy of the transsexual's needs[?]." as Kathryn indicates, may require review, what if the medical issues were reversed and Christine was stricken with an equivalent crisis? The meme is strong with this one.

Corporations will settle for millions without batting an eyelash while divorced ex-spouse's with fight like bloody dogs over the family clock; old news. A terminal illness, or a loved one comes out as gay/lesbian; been done before in the media--boring. The news is hungry for edgy. This is as edgy as it gets and the interesting part is the media will not engage in, nor tolerate, character a assassination of members of the lbg... in this case T. This controversy isn't about "What Joy Ladin has done." Nor did Ladin wish to abdicate family responsibility, which is Christine's spin on it... shit happens to families, that simple.

Elizabeth said...


Well if 138 is true you sure do not come off as bright. The part you seem to miss is I really do not hate you. In many ways I pity you but that is something altogether different.

The first thing you need to know is if I write about someone I read everything I can about them which in this case meant both memoirs and free access to some other printed material. I base my opinion on that and the actions of the people.

I have an opinion on certain matters and that is my right as it is your right to have an opinion. Sometimes I am right and sometimes I am wrong but if I am wrong I will change my position when proven wrong.

Repeating the same mantra over and over is not how you change someone's mind but then those of you in the Transghender world seem to think that works and that you have some inherent right to be correct just because you say you are correct. Does not work that way for you nor does it work that way for me.

I am retired so I have time so it might surprise you to know I have read both of your blogs in their entirety. I am not one to turn the other cheek and sometimes I can be really catty and cross the line which is my failing.

The one thing I do not do is open my mouth and put my foot in it and start chewing like you do every time you comment. I welcome your comments but I will not and do not suffer fools well and that is how you come over to me but that is also just my opinion.

I do not wish you or your family any more hardships but if your !Q is 138 then you should not be in the position you are in thus you have failed yourself and that is sad.

I hope you have a nice Xmas or holiday season if that is your mindset.

feliz navidad

Anonymous said...

@Stephanie; you see there you go again, accusing people of a perceived "crime" such as hate while perpetrating the exact same "crime" yourself! Geez you guys have a level of chutzpah unparalleled anywhere else.

You know next to nothing about me Stephanie. BTW how much did the fake IQ quotient cost you? Waste of time and money, would have been better off putting the cash towards the SRS you claim you want so badly.


Kathryn Dumke said...

Black Swan,

I am not sure you really understand the issues in regards to Ladin. He has taken every opportunity in his writing and articles to assert his dominance over his spouses' legitimate view of his transition. He has both generated and stood by and approved of censure for Christine. He has poisoned the very air Christine and his children live in. And he has de-legitimized and de-valued Christines disappointment, anger and pain by claiming that his pain is greater than hers.

If he had not written a book about his issues, his family and their struggle no one would give a flying hoot about him and Christines problems. But in good TG fashion he could not resist. And in good male fashion he has claimed dominance over her feelings, her disappoinments and her pain. And that says much.

So your comment may not be relevant to the issues of this post.

Anonymous said...

"an orgasm would defenistrate the need to transition, so it isn't a fetish"~BS


BS and Steve, the Toilet Boy. What a combo! Trans-buddies....forever.

Stephanie said...

The IQ was checked 3 times with two different Dr.s They couldn't understand how someone with such a high IQ could be transsexual. My downfall, if you like, was that my family was as poor as could be along with two alcoholics which I followed as well. My family (5) lived on $50 a week for many years. You try and dig yourself out of a hole like that. I tried. I joined the Army at 17 trying to better myself. But as you know transsexualism doesn't stop when you want it to so I was discharged after 8 1/2 months.I did the families masonry work for 11 yrs. then 11years of carpentry, with 11 years of welding. Never did I make much money because the transsexualism would rear it's ugly head and I'd have to go someplace else to work. Now I'm disabled with Hirayama disease and spinal stenosis. I can barely walk. You people think that everyone had it easy in life and that they should have been able to receive their SRS. Believe me, there are more transsexuals out there that couldn't, can't, and don't get to live their life in the proper gender their brain is telling them they are. Jumping on them is just being cruel only because the stars lined up right for you.

Now you know me. All the have to's I had to do to survive with a wife and 2 girls. I did the best I could and survived the alcohol and drugs. 3yrs clean and sober since Oct.'09 I didn't make good decisions along the way, but what is is what is.

Happy Holidays to all of you.


Anonymous said...

I am sure that everyone here is glad that poor Stevi is feeling better about himself. However, this blog and this post, to the best of my knowledge, is not about Steve, his wife and his recovery from alchoholism.

Having acknowledged Steve and his travails, I would like to return to the topic at hand, C. Benevenuto VS. J. Ladin.

As Liz points out, conflation and misinformation runs rampant in the quoted article, as noted here...
"During arguments with her wife, she recalls wanting to explain: 'This isn’t a typical male midlife crisis - it’s a typical transsexual midlife crisis.'
As a man, Jay Ladin always knew he liked to dress in women's clothing and was honest about his tendencies with his then girlfriend in college. "

First of all, I have never heard of a 'typical transsexual midlife crisis'. WTH is that?

Another fallacy, (and an example of media non-comprehension), is seen here..."As a man, Jay Ladin always knew he liked to dress in women's clothing...". this is the description of a transvestite not a woman born neurologically cross-sexed.

As often happens in our world, the masses are led astray at the whim of a hyper-agenda driven media.

Elizabeth said...


Okay so how does transsexualism rear its ugly head and cause you to have to move jobs and in your case it seems to read its "ugly" head every 11 years.

Heck, I have never worked anywhere for more than 11 years in a row other than my own consulting business which meant I went from different work to different work.

Where in the name of god have you ever read on this blog where I said I believe anyone, let alone everyone, had it easy in life? You are pathetic in so many ways just as a living breathing member of the human race. Would you like me to list the people that started poorer than you and lifted themselves up and conquered life despite being born transsexual?

Poor Stephanie, poor Stephanie, poor Stephanie, poor Stephanie. Do you have any idea how hollow and shallow that makes you sound? The poor mes are for losers.

If someone walked in and handed you a check for SRS you would not do it. You would find an excuse.

Just as a future clue it is not "gender" in your brain. Transsexuals have a sex identity issue that has nothing to do with gender. Gender is a social construct.

No transsexual I have ever know was worried about their gender. They were worried about their sex which is why it was called trans"sex"ualism or across the boundary of sex or the need to be the other sex. Well,it was until you transgender asswipes started claiming transgender is the same.

Transsexuals have a sex identity issue. Transvestites have a social issue which is gender expression related. Big fraking difference.

Sorry for your illnesses but I am sure Medicaid will take care of it.

Deena said...

"The IQ was checked 3 times with two different Dr.s They couldn't understand how someone with such a high IQ could be transsexual."

OK that was a wet keyboard moment. I really should not be sipping anything when I read Elizabeth's blog. Steph dearest that was a triple fail.

First it fails because no one ever scores the same on multiple IQ tests. Second, Doctors can't check an intelligence quotient. Third you are saying that doctors believe transsexuals have low intelligence.

I'm sure you are a very nice person in your own world. There are many other people, however, who inhabit other places and have lived in ways you have not. I can respect you as a human being but that does not mean I buy into your fantasies. To quote Jerry Garcia "that path was made for your steps alone".

Stephanie said...

Dumbass, in construction work you go from job to job.

I pity you.

Elizabeth said...


But you did the same kind of work which seems so underneath someone of your "intellectual" capacity. Now I am sure it is honorable work but how again did being a fantasy transsexual affect work? Did you forget to change out of Stephanie mode and show up in a miniskirt?

The humorous part is every time you manage to type out a comment you confirm your simplicity, lack of common sense, and what you really are.

Black Swan said...

All I'm saying is that this case would not receive the PR its getting if Joy Ladin wasn't TG or TS or whatever--its confusing for me now how she identifies--this is your MO of the attacks on Ladin. Remove the TS/TG and what you have left would not be elevated beyond jilted ex-spouses in a post-divorse battle; no one taking sides. If you would stop reading the talking points of RadFems and Separatists you would recognize this, but I'm willing to entertain a distinction I'm not seeing that if you would be so kind to educate me about.

Marriages end everyday, which means people are entitled to their bitter feelings after split ups like this. But that doesn't mean those feelings are worthy of publication; this goes for both Ladin and Benvenuto, plagued memoirs of narcissistic injury. However, Elizabeth may want to distinguish with whom she feels is more guilty than the other, instead of oblique references to how innocent Benvenuto is, making Ladin guilty by default and guilty by direct reference. This isn't the first time this has happened nor the last. Its just getting more PR than the others. The "Publicity Effect" is elevating the new sin; transphobia, makes one party worse than the other thus the moral turpitude and divorcee folly is rife with spousal alienation syndrome. Elizabeth is defending Benevenuto's ruthless, (sic) "Jay is a bad man for being transsexual and transitioning without my permission." Ladin's former wife may have "woke up," her transphobia, but that back-fired quickly when she though she had the moral high ground to menace transgender--that's what started it.

According to the AP Stylebook and GLAAD's Reference Guide, referring to Ladin with male pronouns (past or present) is transphobia--that's the rule; throughout Benvenuto's Kveller article and her book she flippantly does this. Benevenuto knows this rule, or should have known this, working as a journalist. Benvenuto also knows her ex has desires to transition permanently, yet consistently and repeatedly refers to her with male pronouns. Lashon hara, (Hebrew; derogatory speech about another person), is the reason when the Kveller article was censored, and I suspect the protests against the Benvenuto's book.

Remember who started this? There is no evidence to support Ladin's debauchery other than becoming a she, involved enough as a parent the she shows up at pediatrician appointments. Benvenuto did not single handedly raise their children as Elizabeth so smugly puts it. Elizabeth wants her audience to believe Ladin is at fault for "his" transition within a family. What is more telling of Benvenuto's vivid descriptions of disgust at various aspects of Ladin's transition; speech, deportment, body modifications and dress. Benvenuto isn't shy at all about her transphobia condemning Ladin as "ugly", "creepy" and "sad" going as far as claimer her "...devoid of moral bearings."

Anonymous said...

Harder! Harder! Kick me HARDER!!!


Anonymous said...

Stephanie said...
"Asses, all asses! I have more respect for myself than to sell myself on the street. Apparently y'all don't. And it shows in your comments. No respect for yourself or any other human. Despicable. You all deserve each other."

December 9, 2012 3:53 PM

But the same stephanie on the blog "the Prequel" admits ..

"He dared me to get in the sleeper compartment, and told me he'd give
me $20. I knew what was going to happen. I just let it happen.
We had anal sex. I've had to think of this as "Steve" being stupid,
and not "Stephanie's" first sex. I wasn't Stephanie, I had
"Steve" clothes on, if that makes sense to anyone. 'Stephanie'

Sure steph .. makes perfect sense. You are a liar and a phoney.

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

Oh please give me a freaking break. I do not the talking points of the radfems and this is NOT about just some regular every day divorce. I realize you are incapable of reading anything that puts the negative light on any of you fellow late transitioners because you have swallowed the mantra and decided it is yours and you prove it every time you post a comment.

You come off like the same abusive man Jay Ladin was before he transitioned and while he was transitioning and since he has transitioned. If you do not agree with us then you are transphobic.

I have put up with youb repeating your same bullshit comment after comment and now you dog out this BULLSHIT from GLAAD, an organization THAT DOES NOT represent transsexuals but homosexuals and only has there silly stylebook because of heterosexual men playing fucking lesbian.

Before he transitioned he was a "he" and no revisionist history bullshit can change that and quite simply he is still a "he" because (s)he has no intention of getting SRS.

Jay Ladin was at best a part time parent since he worked in NYC and stayed there and came home for weekends. At best he was at home 3 days a week and yes Christine was the primary caregiver like all mothers are which I realize someone such as yourself would have little clue about.

I have no problem with Ladin transitioning and doing his thing. I do have a problem with him doing it and blaming his wife for everything including destroying their marriage because she would not support him. He acted like any abusive husband after his wife stood up for him.

The problem with people like you is you believe everyone should bend over and take one for the husband and to Christine and many others Ladin was "creepy", "ugly", and "sad" at times and that is her right.

Now take your pathetic reference to GLAAD and your pathetic transgender positions and stick your head up your ass so you cannot see daylight like most of your transgender friends because the simple truth is most people view Ladin just like Christine and Ladin and others of his ilk, including you, are the single worst examples any young transsexual could possibly ever have because all of you are examples of what not to do with your life.

Disagreement is not transphobic but then explaining that to a neanderthal like you is next to impossible.

Now please go away and come back when you have something different and relevant to say which I seriously doubt will ever happen.

Black Swan said...


How do you define transphobia?

Anonymous said...

Hey, BS/dipship. Twansphobia is YOUR friggen word and just like twansjendar. it means anything ANYBODY says it does: IE, Nothng.

Miz Know-It-All said...

Therein is the problem BS. Transphobia is for the most part (99.9999-%), myth! How does one in any relevant way define myth? one cannot and more than one can say with certainty how many angels dance upon the head of a pin!

What you and yours are calling Transphobia is in the meat of reality, homophobia! Which is the very real fear that a male might in some possible way be treated as a female!

The rest of that canard is simply society not supporting delusion! Like it or not! We as a species sex each other! This act is written into our DNA as genetic learning like it is for all mammals! I mean a newborn human does this fer Christs sake! So like it or not, if the preponderance of evidence (see I can use the jargon too!) is that this person is male, then so they are going to be sexed! Even when the one who sexed them is kind and overrides that knowing to spare the subjects feelings they are still being sexed as male! It is not "twanzphobia" to be honest!

Black Swan said...

So Anonymous transphobia does NOT exist in YOUR small WORLD which is fine if you pass and living stealthy. Does that mean transphobia doesn't exist for others?

How's this definition fit others reality?

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

You are on probation. No more hijacking of thread topics. If you want to spread your TG bullshit post it on your own blog.

Miz Know-It-All said...

My Apologies Liz... but I just had to!

Hey BS!
Seeing that we are on Wiki fictions now, here's the Wiki for Zombie Apocalypse! Merry Christmas!,

Oh and for the record? Did you happen to actually read what it said on Wiki vis-a-vie Transphobia before you posted it?

"The transgender author and critic Jody Norton believes that transphobia is an extension of homophobia and misogyny. She argues that transgender people, like gays and lesbians, are hated and feared for challenging and undermining gender norms and the gender binary. Norton writes that the "male-to-female transgender incites transphobia through her implicit challenge to the binary division of gender upon which male cultural and political hegemony depends"

Ergo (My! Look at how you went and got even me loving using these legal terms!) "trans-phobia" is and always has been homophobia! Bada Boom! Bada Bing!

So now that you have been hoisted upon your own petard, do you think it even remotely possible that we can go back to discussing how, and more importantly, WHY Joy Ladin is a jerk?


Anonymous said...

Good call, Liz. T-phobia is the default fallback when t-whactivists have no valid argument.

Together with demagoguery, demonization, censorship and of course the usual conflationary dog and pont show, this is just another Alinski-esque respons to any resistanceto the twans* agenda. Twans* meaning what ever anybody says it does.

This reminds me of a spoiled child throwing a tantrum whenever their demands are not acceded to.

Anonymous said...

"“Why don’t you tell the truth?”

I had no idea what she was talking about until she said “Your so tall!” I explained that I don’t wear my height around my neck or tattooed to my forehead, yet it’s a great conversation starting with people, but yes I am really tall and was really confused by her inquiry.

Then she said this, “You need to come clean with people, aren’t you a man?” She continued, your so beautiful and a gorgeous creature BUT… “My friend of mine said a woman cannot be that tall.” This friend of hers was Jeff.

I replied, “No… I’m a woman.“ Which it finally made sense to me why this handsome man I was dancing with me went totally cold. This man’s name was Joe. Upon hearing this she became contrite with an ‘O.M.G. I’m so sorry’ facial expression which sent me a message to their private conversations and cruelty. My consternation and inimitable sorrow came upon me as I traveled back through time to watch my own parade of horrors. I walked away from her a wounded animal. She tried to reach out and I pulled away from her. How ironic this happens at a party honoring one of the most prolific civil rights attorneys in US history. This shouldn’t happen here. Why here?

The girl tried to console me. I could see their guilty faces. Jeff later apologized to me. Handsome Joe, wearing his very clever “housing bubble” costume complete with bubble wrap couldn’t help, approached me with sad beautifully brown eyes which said he was very sorry. All the kings horses and all the kings men… could never put my childhood back together again. I stared in the mirror at my hideous monster wishing I was smarter then, shorter now and could find the help I needed in time when I was young to keep me from being this Frankenchic tall. Wiping my tears.

Mortally wounded I walked to the middle of the dance floor right in time for a Blues like song in Grateful Dead mode. I wish I was… grateful. I faced the band motionless, staring into space with wet eyes, forlorn amongst the empty eternities. Starting in the middle of my stomach, all my frustrations, all my poor life choices, all my guilt & personal shame, all the monsters who physically and verbally abused me, abandoned or disregarded my needs paid me a visit, dancing around me in celebration of my suffering." ~BS

An apt description of the angst which so torments and motivates those who rally to the LGB-Trans Umbrella Corp..

Anonymous said...

Wow Liz folds her tent as well as Lucy van Pelt.

Charlie B.

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan and her alter ego Anonymous posted at 5:24PM

I allowed you comment but it is your last comment on this particular subject. You are stuck in your manly ways so you wqait until there is another post and if you attempt to derail that post to enter TG land you will be banned permanently.

As for anon post about being so tall that has absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone else but you. Nothing the TG or anyone can do to legislate against that happening. Just another bullshit analogy in an attempt to make the TG palatable.

You are truly pathetic but you know that do you not? The TG do not help any children you dipshit. They hurt children by there very existence because a child transsexual is not the same as a transvestite plus the LBG will drop the TG, have already, because of assholes like Colleen Francis and his ilk.

You have been warned and it is the last time.

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan and her alter ego Anonymous posted at 5:24PM

I allowed you comment but it is your last comment on this particular subject. You are stuck in your manly ways so you wqait until there is another post and if you attempt to derail that post to enter TG land you will be banned permanently.

As for anon post about being so tall that has absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone else but you. Nothing the TG or anyone can do to legislate against that happening. Just another bullshit analogy in an attempt to make the TG palatable.

You are truly pathetic but you know that do you not? The TG do not help any children you dipshit. They hurt children by there very existence because a child transsexual is not the same as a transvestite plus the LBG will drop the TG, have already, because of assholes like Colleen Francis and his ilk.

You have been warned and it is the last time.

Anonymous said...

“Your so tall!”

Who do we know who can't learn the contraction of "you are" is "you're"?

Can't be anonymous when you blunder so consistently.

- an old aunty

Anonymous said...

Liz. I apologize for perpetuating the BS twans-jacking. I posted the aboved, quoted from BS's blog. I offered it as window into what drives the TG.
"....all my frustrations, all my poor life choices, all my guilt & personal shame, all the monsters who physically and verbally abused me, abandoned or disregarded my needs paid me a visit, dancing around me in celebration of my suffering."

I am not an alter-ego of BS and most certainly not an apologist. I just see this as an honest desription of what the TG endure in a world who refuses to share their delusion, that might help to explain their drive to change society to better accomodate their own personal needs.

NOT BS's alter ego.

Stephanie said...

Sorry you didn't get my last comment. Musta got lost in the mail.

Black Swan said...

The juris muse waxes you doesn't she? Transphobia is real fact of life, yet not well defined, I'm seeing real push back movement on the net with transactivists threatening "Die Cis Scum" over transphobia--must be real. If transphobia is the crime against Ladin by portmanteau, its also a crime for the oppressed to push back (i.e. protest Christine's book and writings), thereby derivation (xenophobia?) other-phobia. If you feel, or show evidence that transphobia = homophobia so what? It in no way abrogates the crime nor offers you a defence whether you agree they are similarly defined terms or not. All Liz needs to do is deny the transgression and she is free to commit it. BTW that is denial.

Merry Christmas, or whatever human ritual you engage in. I get it, you are a total cis-kapo, policing the gender-binary prejudice for the patriarchy. If I or anyone else, challenges your position or pushes back you punish them by censorship ("banning" me in this case) threats--if they don't tow your beliefs. Wow you sound worse than Kveller. I must have gotten under your skin too with the hasty double-posts above with type-o-plenty, threatening to ban me permanently--GO AHEAD!

Happy Holidaze

Kathryn Dumke said...

'Rather than swallowing her pain and focusing on my mine, she decided to fight for her life. If I had been faithless, she would be faithful.

If I denied the reality of the man she loved, she would mourn and defend him.'

Ladin "Through the door of Life"

This is in my view at the core of Ladin's world view. In contemplating these few sentences the fallacy of it all becomes clear. He insists that the reality of his life prior to transition was not being a man and loved by Christine as that man. It is in the end the denial of Christine's existence that he forgets, fails to acknowledge, ignores. The faithlessness lies in this nowhere else.

And that realization eludes him.

Anonymous said...

No Toilet Boy. It got flushed as the shit it is.

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

"policing the gender binary prejudice for the patriarchy???????"

transsexualism is a sex identity issue. Transvestism is a gender issue and it is that simple. You can have as many genders as you want but if as you claim it is gender based then there is no medical intervention possible for a cure thus it is not a medical issue because you cannot define gender in it is not binary.

The other thing is patriarchy. I love assholes like you throwing that word around like it actually has relevance for men in dresses with their pricks. Just to clear things up, men in dresses with a prick screaming they are women because they say they are, with no intention of ever removing said prick are the absolute definition of patriarchy because it is men pushing around women.

You support men and I support women just so we are clear and that says a lot about you. That makes you and yours servants of the patriarchy. This coming from some dipshit that has never in their lives ever been discriminated against because they are a woman.

You really are a "transwoman" because you would not know what it meant to be a women if you were given written instructions because they would conflict with the trans universe and thus be cis-centric and invalid

This is not a forum for your personal views. I let most 99.88% of comments through by I do get tired of you attempting to hijack every post with your personal ideas. I have told you to stop it yet you persist because you are a "trans" warrior.

You are just another dipshit mid life transitioner that suddenly thinks they know everything about everything because they swallowed the transgender manual. Guess what? Few who read this blog believe much of what you write and your obsession with me, it is an obsession, is bordering on the one you had for Caroline Cossey when you showed up at her parents home asking where Caroline is.

Spend two days with friends and come back to you and Stephanie neither of whom seem to have a life other than being trans or exhibitionists.

Nicky said...

Here's the Article from Huffington post

Anonymous said...

BS, you moron! Just because a bunch of tranny weirdos attack normalpeople for being normal, does not mean that their fabricated delusions have and basis in factual reality.

Smoke some more pot. Finish the job of frying your brain.

Black Swan said...

Interesting, so we are left with part of one side of a divorce story, with a gender dysphoric twist. People get divorced all the time, and for different reasons. Pain makes adversaries point the finger. This is also real, and while suboptimal, is often the best outcome. Clearly there is a lot of pain here on the author's part and I really do think she is not giving us the best prism through which to view the issue of sex and gender. Going too far as to demonize, literally, Tracey ("Ladin") with references to an evil serpent.

"Tracey was gleeful. The snake and the frog were like characters out of a folktale: evil swallowing good. Was this really the symbol of him leaving them that he wanted the children to carry into the rest of their lives?"

"It was." What an ouroboros complex, a complete denial of reality, which when supported by Ladin's statement-->Christine's end of the world narcissism, and denial of self to hold onto a fantasy. Clearly in pain from real loss. This woman is suffering from path dependency, the psychological inability to see other options and stay on the path you're on because you have grown dependent on it.

Why didn't Christine bale when she first saw the purple panties in the dryer?

The point of the book; Christine demonized Tracey and has very cleverly martyred herself in the story she wrote. Rolls easily off the tongue--the poor doting wife Christine, toady to the end. So obvious even in Christine's book. Tracey is the villain and she the saint. Why, because she continues to be hetero and Joy transsexual?

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

You are beyond rational. Jay Ladin is the one that took the divorce into the public arena by writing his self aggrandizing memoir and then telling the world his wife failed to support him. That is a simple statement of fact.

"Christine's end of the world narcissism, and denial of self to hold onto a fantasy. Clearly in pain from real loss. This woman is suffering from path dependency, the psychological inability to see other options and stay on the path you're on because you have grown dependent on it."

That is total male bullshit. A wife and mother is almost always dependent on the husband because the wife builds a relationship built around the the home she has with her family. It is simply part of being a woman. It is built into the psyche of most women. It is why women stay in abusive relationships whether it is physical or emotional. We commit to that relationship and it is hard to break away from it.

I want to thank you BS for clearly showing your complete lack of understanding of what it means to be a woman. You think like a man and I guess that comes with the late transition and the complete swallowing of the transgender bullshit.

Trying to claim Christine is narcissistic is beyond humorous. There is nothing more narcissistic than a man and his dress and the only fantasy is Ladin's because he is not a transsexual. Ladin is a transvestite because his dream is to live and dress as a woman. There is no commentary where he expresses a desire to "be" a woman since he wants to keep his male bits.

You spoke of patriarchy in a previous comment and here you are spouting classic patriarchal bullshit. Christine could not bail when she saw the panties because she had no money and if you read the memoirs you would know that. How could she bail? Run away and leave the children and the house to Jay Ladin? That is what you are saying there and is classic male bullshit.

The problem is that Christine finally did get a divorce because someone loaned her the money for an attorney. The part you do not read about is how Ladin held the money he earned over her and used it in an attempt to control her which is typical of men.

Christine has a right to be upset and hurt because the man she had married betrayed her and was destroying her family. Did she ever make it public or cause him grief by publicly telling others? She did not, Jay Ladin did that himself and made the new Joy the victim of a wife that did not support him in typical orthodox Jewish tradition which was what he was bitching about.

You ignore everything Ladin said in public interviews because they are an inconvenience for your position yet concentrate on the minute details of what Christine did which is bullshit because Christine Benvenuto didn't do a thing, Jay Ladin instituted all of this. She reacted and tried to keep her family together because that is what women and mothers do. Your problem is you are too blinded by your own maleness to see that and for that I normally feel sorry for you but it is clear to all you are totally clueless about being a woman.

Then you add the final bullshit line about Christine being hetero and Joy transsexual. What the hell has that got to do with anything let alone the price of coffee or Christine Benvenuto or this situation? Was Christine supposed to stay with Joy and become a lesbian out of love or obedience?

Hey, why aren't you and your transgender mafia pals trying to get the excerpt from her book removed from the Huffington Post? Isn't that male phobic or are you calling that transphobic to hide that fact it is a male point of view?

Black Swan said...


Get over it! Just offering balance, without me you would just be preaching to the choir or have only the few TG nut cases to trounce. For both Christine and Joy its the supreme act of narcassism to write a memoir. Not always a bad thing. Woudn't you agree?

On balance I don't like the way Ladin refers to his ex as "wife" constantly in the book, being published post marital, but Ladin doesn't attack her in the book the way Benvenuto characterizes Tracey in her memoir, yet all names being equal I find the use of the name "Tracey" much more clever of Benvenuto, genderless and universally preferable.

BTW you do know that Ladin published before Benvenuto, you haven't used that yet as an attack/defense, yet you can always claim that Benvenuto's memior was self-defence. Just giving your argument a helpful hint.

Black Swan said...

Further Elizabeth,
If people felt free from childhood to be what they wish to be, Ladin would most likely not have gotten married and put his family through this. I'm not saying I understand or necessarily condone what Ladin did, but things like this happen because people spend their entire lives trying to be something they're not and there comes a point they just can't do it any longer. It's not fare to judge someone with today's reality based on a past reality.

At times people get angry at loved ones who get cancer. They feel rejected. They are angry at the person who gets the condition for not being there for them like they used to be. Sad paradox. For a short time I blamed my mother for contracting AIDS. The authors are selling books; oddly, this kind of material helps get the condition out into the mainstream and into the realm of reality, so it's a good thing.

Kathryn Dumke said...

" This woman is suffering from path dependency..."
Black Swan

This is an incredibly dismissive statement. I cannot imagine how any woman would ever make such statement in light of Christine’s and Ladin’s story.

You see, Black Swan, the path these two created over a 20 year marriage was what Christine was fighting for. She did not change the status quo, he did.

No one here says that that he was not suffering from whatever crisis he was suffering from. Or, that he was somehow not entitled to transition. And we all draw our own conclusions from his words and hers.

But there is one element here, which is really the purpose of this blog. To highlight his utter failure to recognize and appreciate that Christine's anger, disappointment and despair over the unraveling of their life path together was existential and true to the path they, both of them together had chosen.

You see, in the face of that anger it would have been appropriate to eat humble pie, to accept and recognize that he had lived a lie unbeknownst to the person he promised a life path to. Instead, he chose to do something that screams his manhood from the rooftops. He decided that offense was the best defense and dragged her entire family into a public discourse about whose pain is greater. In doing so he has kept denying their common history, the value of the life she chose with him and her humanity in trying to explain how he is the victim.

So, you can defend Ladin all you want, but for the reasons given he has made their lives sordid, their children an unwanted accident, and stripped his wife to whom he promised the moon and the stars of her essential humanity. And for that I detest him.

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

Providing balance? Not really, more like lunacy. I have mentioned multiple times Ladin published first so your reading comprehension needs work.

So you are now claiming you basically were playing the devil's advocate in this discussion? Sure you were Black Swan and I am buying a bridge that crosses this river in NYC!!

What a duplicitous twit.

Black Swan said...

No, I said balance. If I was offering strawman arguments you may claim I was being a "devil's advocate."

Dismissive--rightfully so. The arguments here have been incredibly dissmissive of Ladin. Balance was needed.

Happy New Year.

Elizabeth said...

@Black Swan

All you do is continually put forth straw man arguments. Are you so intoxicated, most of the time, you cannot even remember what you wrote?

Of course you do not recognize them in the context of the straw man argument because to you they are equivalencies because they are from the book of the Transgender and you never contradict them.

Then there is the concept you provide balance. No you do not and never have. You provide an extreme position supported only by constant repeating of the same bullshit from the book of the Transgender.

Anonymous said...

One of the pleasures of being around as long as Me and Liz have been is that over the years we've both seen it all and heard most of it. nothing in these exchanges provides anything new. No fresh insight at all. In Christine Benvenuto's book however, there is quite a bit of new and fresh insight. Christine says it as she sees it. Christine says it as a lot of other women have when deceived by a crossdressing husband wishes to take it all one step too far. That is the insight the TG don't want out there and so they shut her down.

The the too and fro I've read here is superfluous to that key point. Christine Benvenuto voiced what the TG do not want made public because it makes them feel uncomfortable.


Happy New Year Everyone

Anonymous said...

Of course the truth makes the men in dresses uncomfortable. It shines the harse light of reality on their duplicitous delusions.

Anonymous said...

This is an example of what Ladin is capable of and supports the assertion that Ladin is pathological liar.

Joy Ladin16/12/12 22:20
Hi - thanks for noting the pairing of my and my ex's memoirs about my transition. I have one correction: despite internet rumors to the contrary, I haven't been involved in any censorship efforts. There was a peaceful protest against the transphobic content of my ex's book at her book launch; I heard about it after the event. There was no attempt to stop the local press from covering my ex's book, though I have tried (in vain) to get the paper to take down the nasty transphobic comments that attack me personally on the website. One of my ex's blog posts, on kveller, was taken down, but that was because of a protest by other kveller writers and various Jewish leaders who felt that the combination of personal assault and transphobia in her essay made it inappropriate for a Jewish parenting website. That movement wasn't led by trans people, and again, I wasn't involved in it. I agree with you - censorship is bad, even of hate speech. Joy Ladin

MonseyJew26/12/12 21:00
Respectfully or disrespectful I beg to differ with Ms. Ladin, as I personally received the initial "call to arms" telling people to write to Kveller and trash CB's at Ms Ladins behest. Which Ms. Ladin of course knew about. And thanked them for doing. So that dog don't hunt. When I said hey this is a problem--I was attacked and threatened and called names. And yes I reported all of it to the authorities and named names. And yes I documented it also by fowarding it .

So Ms. Ladin, you most certainly were involved. By Jewish leaders--you mean your friends. You wrote a book and said what you wanted, in your words. Now Ms Benevunto can do the same....

The entire project is based on you assertion the victim status as a platform to bully. You are the brave and noble, scared bla bla bla--people are not stupid. Your friends want to believe you that's fine, maybe that's what friends are for. But the real reason you don't want this book read is because it makes you look horrible and it is very believable based on your behavior in calling for censorship. Save the transphobia (which I personally find an offensive manipulative word) for the next construction worker that calls you buddy, and stop lying, manipulation and being a full blown misogynist. Because I will tell you the truth. I think if anyone is in danger--it sure isn't you. How many women are killed a year by ex-husbands--3 a day. As a closing statement I have received numerous messages from M2T women and they are outraged by your behavior and your manipulations to silence your ex-wife. So So your friends are not doing you any favors by encouraging your patterns of abuse and control. Which is exactly what this is. You don't get to silence anyone--you do not have that right. Now in order for me to protect myself from you who I do see as dangerous I will say if a single one of your friends or you threaten me, or calls me any name or attempt to sabotage me-in any percieved way(and even if you think I don't know I will know) -every girl at Stern College will be reading "Sex Changes" And that is something I can make happen in about 60 seconds. As an exercise in Tshuvah you really should write (and not all about you) an apology to Ms Beneventuo and to every other person you hurt with your little stroll down Macarthy lane.

Anonymous said...

Whoever you are "anonymous", thank you for this confirmation of my own suspicions.

It's the outrageous behaviour of TG like Ladin that causes me to distance myself from the whole sorry mess and deceit that is transgenderism.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Of curiousity:

Has anyone else read Anna Lawrence's new book, Men Trapped In Men's Bodies? It's an interesting examination of autogynephilia theory, profusely illustrated by quotations of patient narratives. Rather turgidly-written (at least in my non-expert opinion) but worthy of the read if you can find it in a library and thereby dodge the $120 cover-price (blame that on the book being published by Springer as a short-run hardcover).

What I gained from the reading was a better understanding of what might impel a middle-aged man to want to bail out of the world of patriarchal power and into some other pink-and-squishy revisioning of life.

Yours cordially from under the snow,

a mid-winter elfchick

Anonymous said...

I was able to review parts of this book by 'googling the title. What was made available via 'Amazon' and the puplisher, 'Springer', reveal little more than self-justification by a "researcher" mining for data that supports their own personal AGP.

I do agree that AGP is most likely the cause of middle-aged men "believing" or being convinced that "transition" is the cure for their unhappiness.

The ugly results and less than satisfactory outcomes should be enough to dissuade them but the "regretter" stats are never admitted to.

Bottom line is that these guys never really get a good look at what it actually means to be TS because we simply refuse to offer ourselves up for study to a bunch of "researchers" bound and determined to deny our very existence, much less admit that we even exist

Anonymous said...

Sounds as if the kettle is calling the pot black, if you cannot bleed monthly nor were born with a baby maker between your legs you can never be women. Mutilating surgeries do not a women make from a delusion and none of you are, were or ever female.

Anonymous said...

Well there you have it folks. Our resident Loon from Conn. has decided that all sterile and post menapausal women are now men. Brillant!

Anonymous said...

oooooooooooh! A visit from the rad fems!This should be really interesting I can hardly contain my excitement.

Pop the kettle on pull up a chair watch listen and learn we're all going to get a lesson on reality.


Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I'm not liable to want to play along....

My take on the Lawrence book is that it contains exactly what the author had intended: a collection of narrative vignettes from within her own community of thought. Indeed, most of you who don't have an interest in her school of clinical praxis might be well-advised to skip buying it. For those of us who **do** run into mid-life to late-life autogynephiliacs as part of our daily professional lifes (whether directly or as ancillary counsellors) it is worthy of the reading.

All the same, I doubt that my employers are all that keen to have seen me blow my annual reading budget on **one** book. :/

yours thoughtfully,
an anonymous elfchick from nowhere near Connecticut

Anonymous said...

"Mutilating surgeries do not a women make from a delusion and none of you are, were or ever female."

Been hearing that essentialist invalidating crap from transvestites since 1973. And you wonder why we despise you.

-an old aunty

Anonymous said...

Dear Old Aunty from afar:

Your quietly-obscure rural elfchick here, pondering the nature of long-standing hate. As a dear friend of ours is fond of saying, "haters gotta hate, they do exactly what it says on the tin!"

You've got a couple of years on me: depending on how I might choose to count it, I'm somewhere between Class of '76 (when I figured myself out and made it stick, socially) and Class of '78 (when I got a proper factory label stuck on my fanny, and the souvenir of an English hospital door-label titled 'Miss...').

The social milieux I encountered back in the day ranged from ignorant indifference (as was afforded by the world at large) to suspicion and isolation (as came from some, but by no means all, lesbian-feminists). I have no idea what the transvestites thought of me, as I wasn't socially active within their playgrounds nor they in mine.

Frankly, I still give about as scarce of a damn as I did back then -- as I told one of my gatekeepers back then, "I just want to get on with life." And so I have.

Is there despicable essentialist commentary out there? Well, sure, there **are** haters, after all. We know who they are, as they show themselves by their blatherings. But so far as I can see it, that only really matters if engaging with them, or even remaining within earshot, is what we want to do.

I still hate the word 'stealth'. The only things I've ever hidden from is a couple of creepily-obsessed chasers, and what seems to fix their wagons quite handily is the occasional sending (through my solicitor) of notes along the lines of "F--- you. Strongly worded letter follows." (due thanks given to my ex-husband, for that excellent and courtroom-tested wording!)

I close with a wish of good fortune to you, and may you have many more happy new years,

yours kindly,

the somewhat-younger and probably not-wiser elfchick (from whichever part of the woodwork she's in this week)

postsript: cyclical hormones? the notion, back then, was that cycling would be more biologically appropriate. I've read the literature and understand that the jury is still out on this matter.

Anonymous said...

It really is a function of the end result.

Were you able to pass through the change and get on to the life you knew was yours to make? Or were you stuck being 'forever trans'?

If the end result was a normal, happy and productive life, then one might deem this a successful transition.

If on the other hand, the end result was less than satisfactory, then it is understandable that those might resent and be envious and hateful towards those that succeeded where they failed.

Anonymous said...

It's difficult to distinguish a forgetfulness from intentional cycling. :)

- an old aunty

Anonymous said...

Dear Aunty:

Yes, forgetfulness is indeed part of the equation. ^_^ That's where the transdermal patch has ended up being such a delightfully-helpful innovation, insofar as it reduces the need to remember whether one's taken this or that little pill.

And pari passu, life's been good ever since the night I woke up in the recovery-room. Not perfect by any means: the '27% discount' in salaries for being female has always hurt hard (as it hurts most every woman save for the lucky few); marital life had its ups and downs (and is currently on a very nice 'up', thanks in advance for asking!). Casual petty misogyny always hurt, too, although I developed a selective deafness for the passing comments of randy construction-workers as I went down the street.

Liz had the right of it in observing the desire to be protected and valued; that's part of what's made the good times of marriage so very very good.

All in all, I am grateful to have lived during such a period of time in which such events were possible; I continue to think warm thoughts for the various gatekeepers, surgeons and therapists in whose care I was (and I also continue to sing the praises of my very thoughtful and helpful endocrinologist, without whose aid I'd have had a markedly less-pleasant life).

Getting on with life was always the plan; I continue to advocate that approach to the young'uns of nowadays, along with assuring them that whatever presently afflicts them is well-established to be a thoroughly-curable condition.

Sign me,
yonder happy elfchick, burbling as ever.

Anonymous said...

Glad you aren't allergic the the patches.

- an old aunty

Anonymous said...

Dear Aunty:

Allergies? Well, in the height of summer, my skin does not like the occlusive action of Estraderm; thus far, the regrettably-more-expensive Estrodot does not cause that skin upset in hot weather.

Whether that's a function of the latter being smaller, or some change in formulation or in adhesive, I don't know, as I'm not willing to construct and test for an appropriate null hypothesis (being as hot-flashes are nasty and greatly to be avoided if at all possible).

Life's an uncontrolled experiment anyway.

Day's pleasance to all,

a far-flung and long-travelled elfchick

Anonymous said...

After a a number of months on the patch my posterior looked like a red and white checkered table cloth from a budget Italian restaurant.

- an old aunty

Black Swan said...

Finally some balance.

Anonymous said...

This is not balance. It is just more TeeGee BS being touted by our favorite BS'er.

Same ol' same ol'. When will you guys come up with a new canard?

Anonymous said...

I agree. I read the whole thing and it is not the first time I have read it. It is simply more of the same justification of super transvestites getting their way and using transsexual narratives to do it.

I commend the couple for working through their issues but it is NOT transsexuality it is something quite different. i e Transgenderism. In the narrative the writer talks about "gender" motivation and not sexual motivation. It is a clear case of TG delusion hiding behind the skirts of transexuality. I'm surprised not everyone sees it.


Black Swan said...

I personally think this topic needs to be retired and move on to the next one. There isn't much to ad to this anymore. How about the Julie Burchill has ended up bullying the trans community for defending Suzanne Moore's article. Up to Elizabeth.

RedFem's are having a hay day for one of their hero's censored.

Anonymous said...

BS comes across as just another cock in a frock trying to tell women how to handle their own affairs...I dare say that Elizabeth will retire subjects if/when she so chooses, not because it came from some crap spewed by BS.

As to the Burchill article, censorship in any form should be taken seriously. The Brits clearly push the whole PC nonsense to its extreme by labeling anything and everything as 'hate speech.' The fact that a newspaper chose to cater to the bedwetters in bad wigs was appalling. Fortunately one of the other papers picked it up and called the censorship for what it is. The tee-gee brigade needs to get over themselves.

Anonymous said...

Dear Elizabeth,

Kate Middleton here sending a Mayday from Britain as is traditional in times of war.

I am now 47 and have faced a lifetime battle to be myself. I am physically and legally female and engaged to a wonderful man.

But our lives are being made impossible by the Transpersons.

Do please have a look at this bloody group of self important gits

Anonymous said...

I have a blog here exposing the child molesting homosexual who attacked me when I was 17.

He was arrested on Sept 4th 2008 but they have ignored the evidence. He must not be allowed near kids

Anonymous said...

I have a message to David Cameron from Kate Middleton on utubeL

Robyn Messy Elliot said...

I do not understand how a person cursed with my affliction could even pretend to act like a husband and (father!!??) for a day, a week, a month, let alone a decade plus! Maybe if I had a father I would have some idea how to act. At best, I can only assume Joy had a male role model, or that Joy has a condition less terminal than mine. After 3 involuntary commitment stints to enrich my high school tragedy my family was ready to accept transition in lieu of suicide. Is it normal to still cry over a childhood even after you stop hating your family? I do not say Joy's experience was innately worthless because "he" did not fall apart in youth, but I cannot relate to her at all.
As for his wife, I understand why she is bitter. He sold her a fraud and then stole HER life from her. Did he face death as a morbid reprieve? Somehow, I do not think so. Ah, what the hell do I know? No one could understand what I was going through either.

Robyn Messy Elliot said...

@ stephanie

I do not want to enter this fray, but to comment on something you said about Drs. not understanding how with your 138IQ you could be ts. It is my understanding that often high IQ correlates with ts as compared to reference population. Indeed, even gendertrender alludes to this indirectly in their Jan 10 (or 11) 2013 post. It should be noted though that an n=1 does not prove the correlation. Also, Blanchard and Lawrence tend to agree this only occurs in the late onset ts. The inverse, of course, is that the primary ts are primarily gay and non-white, and therefore less intelligent. I'm not sure anyone would publicly get behind that, but in Lawrence's case, her being a self-defined auto-gynephile, the claim of intellect and IQ seems oddly self-serving. In any event, my IQ is not as high as 138, so what the hell do I know?