The problem with this entire scenario is it would require me to be willing to do two things that are an invalidation of my life from my point of view.
Being "out" would imply that I was still transsexual which I am not. I no longer have a split between my brain sex and my body so I am cured. If I was out about being transsexual it would have to be that I was born transsexual and thus I was at one time transsexual which then bleeds into the flawed belief that I was ever proud I was born transsexual. There is nothing proud and wonderful about living a personal nightmare until just after my 25th birthday when I was cured. Now I know some of the loons are going to be on here claiming I was never cured but Harry Benjamin thought I was cured.
The idea of "out and proud" implies that I "owe" something to a community or a group of people who went before me or to someone other than myself for my success in life. There is some truth in this statement but not the truth that the "out and proud" crowd want. I owe a lot to my mother who fought the urge to turn me over to the medical loons and eventually listened to her pen pal Dr. Harry Benjamin. I owe a lot to the mother of a boy who saw past her own prejudices and met the little girl that was me. I owe my life to a boy that forced his way into my life because he saw me for the girl I was. I owe my brother Raymond more than I can repay in multiple lifetimes for his support and love and acceptance long before anyone one else admitted I was the girl I said I was. I owe my second husband more than I can ever repay and when we hopefully meet again after I am gone I can tell him again how much he meant to me and how he enriched my life.
I would certainly not have had my second husband if I had been "out and proud" although he knew everything about me. Not one of the people who have meant a thing to me in my life would have benefited from my being "out and proud" and for sure I would not have benefited because quite bluntly there is nothing to be "out and proud" about other than the simple facts of my life and on those counts I believe I can hold my head high as a woman because I have set more than a few precedents for women in both business and Engineering. Neither of these loons can say they helped women because they have lived their lives as MEN and in the case of one of them will retain his manhood by choice.
I did my little part in the early 70's on radio and several television shows for the "transsexual cause" and I regret doing even those to be honest. The reason is simple. People will believe what they want to believe and besides that all I ever wanted was to be "normal". from June of 1959 until I moved to NYC basically everyone knew I was the boy that thought she was a girl and wanted to be a girl. Then I was the MTF transsexual and that ended when I moved to NYC. I have always "passed" as a girl and that benefit in many ways gave me the freedom to be the girl I was in NYC.
Wanting a normal life meant eventually leaving my past behind and that was easy because at that age it was not something I wanted to think about. I just wanted to make my way in life as a girl with none of the baggage associated with being born transsexual. Thankfully it was the 50's, 60's and early 70's and there was no social media because my life would have been different today but it was a choice I made and I am actually proud of it. I chose to make it through life as the girl I should have been born as and hoped I would earn the privilege to be considered a woman or as my dear friend Irene said "a girl that figured it out". Irene was a genetic girl and never knew of my past.
I started from scratch as a girl because I chucked the Engineering degrees and my Houston past into the "Way Back When Vault" and moved on with my life as a girl and then a young woman. My first husband, despite an early divorce, let me raise my step-daughter which personally I consider my best achievement in life and the one I enjoyed the most. My life has had its ups and downs with its good times and its bad times but in most ways it has been very normal for the young girl I started out as and the mid 60's woman I have become today.
What these people claiming we should be "out and proud" want is someone they can blame for their own inadequacies or cowardice in facing down a problem in life and defeating it. They would like you to believe it is not their fault they decided to marry a woman and have children in a marriage where they knew they were "transsexual" or more importantly "would have" known they were transsexual if someone like me was "out and proud" or better yet everyone was "out and proud". This is of course a false assumption.
The following comment is from a schizophrenic loon by the name of Stephanie and is taken from MKIA's blog and I hope she forgives me for borrowing it.
As usual, you side-stepped what I said completely. I still maintain that if you and the other older ladies had been open about yourself early in your transition, it would have helped people to understand what a transsexual is. In 1968 at the age of 14, I didn't even know that there were other people in this world that felt like I did. It took a write-up in a Look or Life (?) magazine for me to connect the dots. Had you done something of that nature you could have helped many transsexuals and cis people understand better. Sitting and blasting people here is not helping anything. Come out of your closet and put a face on what it's been like to live a successful life as a transsexual. It would help much more than preaching to the choir here on blogger.
Well Stephanie was able to connect the dots at 14 as she claims yet it did not help Stephanie one bit. Why do I say that one should ask? Quite simply Stephanie went on to live "his" life just the way he was always going to live his life. If Stephanie had read about another 20 or 30 of us would it have changed his life in 1968? No, it would not have because he was more interested in the ass of a girl hanging over a pool table and getting laid like all the rest of the useless redneck white trailer trash boys he grew up with in the Arkansas of 1968. He claims he was diagnosed transsexual in 1968 yet he DID NOTHING about it when it came down to the life mistakes he made but somehow this would have changed if more were out and proud. That is utter bullshit.
Every transsexual knows it whether they have a word for what they are. They know they are girls of they know they are boys. Stephanie had that information and waited until Stephanie was in her 50's to transition. Was that my fault because I was not "out and proud"? From Stephanie's point of view I gather it is. From my point of view Stephanie just proved he was a coward or more likely made a conscious decision to NOT do what was necessary to be the girl he claims he was. Usually that indicates the person questions themselves but that is my fault and those others that did not "destroy" their own lives like Stephanie did.
People make their own decisions in life and like many bad decisions they need others to blame for their pathetic existence and mistakes. They were repressed by their parents so they had "no choice" and could not transition back then. A little clue is needed here. None of us had a choice back then because the only way to transition in the 50's and 60's was to head to the streets or actually work towards what you needed. We did what we had to do and you did not. So how is that my fault again?
Okay, so what was the excuse when you became emancipated at 18 or graduated from college? Oh that is correct you had some girl pregnant and were now "doing the right thing" by marrying her and pushing your "dressing" and possible transsexualism into her life. How very kind of you to include others in your misery.
Eventually people like Stephanie and June "The Loon" reach their 50's and "suddenly" the "urge" to be female, a feminist, an all knowing woman, and an example for all becomes irresistible and they need to present themselves to the world as the "women" they always were which they are entitled to because they were men for 50+ years and are all knowing as all men are. Just ask them! They know what it means to be a woman because they have been both fucking them and fucking over them their entire lives.
Most late transitioners admit they made some bad decisions in life that led them down a path that delayed the inevitable. Most are what Harry would classify as Type V and I have sympathy and compassion for them. The rest will always be men because even with the lipstick and skirt they are still just plain men. Male privilege demands their acceptance as women even if they keep their beloved penis. They are all around you.
When I really think about it I am actually "out and proud". I am out and proud that I have been a reasonably good example as both a mother and a woman for my step-daughter and my grandchildren. I am also proud that I made a mark in life for women in my fields of engineering and business. I am out and proud that I was both a good wife and a good partner to the love of my life. All in all I got the life I wanted as a child when I cried myself to sleep praying to god to wake up a girl. It took a while longer than i expected but when I woke up after my surgery in January of 1971 I was that little girl even if I had just turned 25 and no fool like Stephanie nor a bigger fool like June "The Loon" has the right nor the "balls" to claim I failed because I was not "out and proud". I was but it was just I was "out and proud" as a young mother and both a businesswoman and an engineer which was all I ever wanted.
The really sad part is if you listen to June "The Loon" and Stephanie they could have done what I and many others have done before and after. They could have just been the girls they claim they always were and pushed their way into a "correct" life but like most losers in life they chose the easy path and somehow others are at fault for their bad choices but as usual they miss the truth about being born transsexual.
What is that truth?
The truth is there is no choice involved. You either are and do what ever is necessary to become what you should have been or you make mistakes which pull others into the nightmare that is transsexualism. Those that are true to themselves will solve it eventually and admit the mistakes and correct the mistake.They will not blame others nor believe they suddenly had an epiphany and had a clue about all this. They will just live and enjoy it.
The bigger truth is even simpler for people like this.
They will always be trans because their lives revolve around being trans. They will never be women because that would require them to be something they can never be which is honest with themselves. They are little and they are sad and June "the loon" and Stephanie are classic examples of it.
The final truth is the big one.
The only thing any transsexual should be proud of is curing their transsexualism. There is not one single damn benefit that growing up transsexual brings other than perseverance and if I could wave my magic wand there would never be another child born transsexual. I would end it permanently because it is a nightmare and I wish it on not one single other living being.