A guest post

                                                                     The Truth Hurts

When I posted essays on my blog Cassandraspeaks I was very keen to present the truth as I saw it and not to “pretty things up”. It didn’t make my blog a popular read for most TG’s and I am sure made a lot of self identified TS’s feel uncomfortable. An obvious fact about life changing transitioning is that whatever the out come the effects are permanent and are indelible on and within a person’s life as well as upon those whose lives we touch and affect. Of course that is stating the obvious. I don’t believe for a second that anyone begins such an action without first giving at least a modicum of consideration to the effects their actions will have on family and friends alike. That effect will always reflect back at the transitioner both emotionally and practically. The most damaging aspect though are the actions, thoughts and words spoken that a transitioner does not hear, either because they do not want to hear or because they are said out of their earshot and presence.

One of the things that I experience, living as I do in total anonymity, is the private reactions of people, friends, acquaintances etc. as well as my own husband, to the occasional news story or documentary involving transsexual, or transgender for that matter. In the course of my work I have encountered three transsexuals (that I know of) in the last 15 years. There may have been others of course and I have not known but isn’t that the point? I mean, if as so many claim and this was certainly true in my case while growing up, that we are indeed female, why would we look or behave any different to other women or appear distinct from other women. All I/We ever sought or asked for was to be treated in the same way all other girls were treated. I certainly experienced the same desires as other girls in that I longed for the boys I liked to take my hand when we walked together and steal the occasional kiss and even kiss me farewell when we parted. I yearned and dreamed of the courtship, a wedding, a marriage and yes, sex. When the issue of transsexuals come up in conversations today or in a documentary or news story or even a chance encounter with a transsexual, I get to witness the unedited, uninhibited and honest reaction and usually “politically incorrect” views of my friends and acquaintances. I always stay out of the ensuing discussion since I am neither courageous nor stupid.

There is a striking dichotomy that people around the blogs will almost certainly find uncomfortable but dichotomy there is; it is undeniable and you can be certain it exists. It exists, despite, what is it now, more than 30 years of transgenderist activist’s attempts to “educate Joe Public” Joe Public remains stoically of the opinion that they don’t “get” transgender at all. Yet 40/50 years ago they did indeed “get” Christine Jorgensen, April Ashley, Caroline Cossey, Adele Anderson and more recently Kim Petras. The list goes on but I think you get the picture. The actions and behaviour of what might be termed “marginal transsexuals” has in no way benefitted transsexuals who experience transsexuality in its most intense form. In a manner very typical of male attitude towards women we are expected to “put up or shut up” for the greater good of the more masculine and less intense transsexual. I have to ask is that fair and reasonable? I think not. On the other hand I don’t believe less intense transsexuals should “put up or shut up” either but their actions and behaviour have made things worse not better. One only has to look at the history to see that things have indeed become worse not better. In Britain, up until the Corbett v Corbett case birth certificates were quietly changed and our marriages legal. Not that April Ashley was in any way a marginal transsexual but taking the issue public changed the law and it was not for the better good. This is just one instance in what amounts to a litany.

So what is going on here and what exactly is the dichotomy that I witness? My friends were unkind about Stephanie Anne Lloyd (in UK) they were extremely unkind about the Aussie retiree who loved to sail Australia’s West coast and it has to be said, in some amazing outfits. They speak their mind to me and once the subject of the conversation approaches, they immediately adopt a “politically correct” stance. I am sure a great many of you will deny that this happens to you and that everyone accepts you as you are. Yes, sure they do; to your face but once your back is turned and you are out of earshot the numbers of your detractors escalates. I hate to tell you this guys but I have witnessed it. This happens; believe me although I cannot tell you it makes me happy. Interestingly the likes of Kim and Holly (the young girl who was the subject of a documentary recently) they “get” they understand. Even Niki Araguz up until the revelation of Niki’s criminal past and behaviour they understood that she could well be, a woman born with some medical issues. Were it not for the fact Nikki was pre op when she tried to marry, people would have supported her.

What people don’t understand and will probably never understand or “get’ is someone who after 30 years plus of marriage and fathering multiple children suddenly claim they are women and have always been women. “Undercover woman” is a phrase that had me rolling on the floor laughing when I first heard it. Credit where credit is due transvestites can come up with some doozies when it comes to excuses for late transition. They can also get extremely aggressive when challenged on the validity of their claims to the transsexual condition.

I’ve said this in the past but it will not hurt for me to say it again, I feel a great deal of sympathy for transvestites and the transgendered because it seems that there is no cure for them, while transsexuality is cured by a successful transition that includes SRS; transgendered or “super transvestites” to all intent and purpose get trapped in a “no man’s land” between the binary that is male and female. Many TG’s appear to do an imitation of the whirly twirly bird whose sole defence is to fly round and around in ever decreasing circles until it disappears with a slight POP and puff of blue smoke up it’s own rectal orifice from which safe abode it hurls abuse and excreta at it’s pursuers which in most cases is transsexuals who are protesting at the theft of their once valid and exclusive narrative.

Speaking personally now I emphatically do not hate any individual transvestite and neither do I hate the transvestite paradigm. I find it interesting however that as a collective multiple terns and so called identities have been created that are supposed to separate an individual from the term. “Crossdresser” “Gender Queer” the list seems endless and I have to ask why. What is it about transvestite that they find so objectionable or distasteful that a new term needs to be created, Not simply one term but an array of terms with apparently quite different aetiologies. 

I’ve stopped presenting parts of my life and past events as illustrations of points I wish to make for a reason and that reason relates to the accusation that I base my opinions on my own life and if others don’t conform I reject their validity if it does not parallel my own. The reality is that I’ve witnessed a lot of successful transitions and proud to say that a high percentage were successful as a result of my counsel. A successful transition has only one valid measurement and that is; is the individual happy and self perpetuating? Has the damage caused to the lives of others the transition affects been either minimised or reparations made good. Along with a caveat that transition is for the right reasons i.e. honest and the candidate is not making false claims I would not be critical. So often though, the holes in the claims made, are large enough to drive a double decked bus through. Those of us who experienced the symptoms of type VI or high intensity transsexuality can see the absence of truth from a distance of ten miles or more. I will not tell you why because your stories would all change each and every one of you. The anonymous internet I.D “She Said” has asked for documented proof of how original narratives have been co-opted by present day transitioning individuals. The examples are legion and it surprises me that academics have mistaken the repetitions and economies with fact, for consistent or common traits in a syndrome. How often do these academics either bother to check stories with relatives or their friends? Admittedly the task would be time consuming and not an easy task. There is neither money nor glamour in research on this subject.

Let us for a moment take a look at just one statement made in Jan Morris’s Book on her life “Conundrum” published in 1974 She states often that she is a “Woman trapped in a man’s body” and ever since that time the phrase has been trotted out each and every time you read about a transsexual. I have never used the phrase in reference to myself and when I first read the phrase in the book did not relate to it in any way. The reason is simple; until the age of six or seven I had no idea I was not a girl not because my Mother or Father treated me like their daughter in any way it just never occurred to me I was not a girl. When I did realise the physical aspects of sex difference I desperately wanted to be like other girls. This was what I explained to the very first psychiatrist I was able to consult. All the other women like myself I have ever encountered (there has not been that many it has to be said) have come at the issue from the same angle I did. We share other similarities in the way our attraction to boys and males affected development during puberty. My own puberty was virtually non existent. No growth spurt no voice change and certainly no development of muscle mass.

Time and again however we hear this Jan Morris conundrum phrase “Woman trapped in a man’s body” It’s the one the medical professionals seem to long to hear and yet I don’t place much significance to it as a diagnosis tool. Neither do I place much store by the policy that says the patient is transsexual if they say they are. I don’t believe in reparative therapy either. I am also aware that often transition and even surgery on some marginal patients will result in a person living useful and happy lives if they can find a tolerant niche in society. A tolerant niche in society is not what transsexuals who fit the Benjamin type VI mould seek however! Full acceptance as the women we are and no, 90% will not do even 95% feels inadequate. It is this factor that will often tell you which intensity you deal with. Intensity in whatever way you view or measure it is paramount in deciding where a person lays and what type they are.   

To all intent and purpose the ideological war that raged between transsexuals and transgender (transvestites) is over and most have accepted that transsexuality is indeed an independent and separate paradigm. However what we now are beginning to witness is very similar to what I saw in the UK during the mid 80’s and that was transvestites who have become so hooked on the narcotic that is transvestism they have begun to call themselves transsexual and not transgender. Those who would once have identified as transgender are now seeking to redefine transsexuality in order to make themselves fit. It will be done with the change of term here and the change of term there and the use of “political correctness” and censorship of genuine transsexuals or detractors. In fact if anyone cares to read T Central right now the nature of how the censorship will appear can be seen in all its glory. If someone claims they are transsexual and another person for whatever reason the detractor will be in effect deemed to be making a personal attack and will either be barred or the comment relegated to where it will not be seen. Neat isn’t it!  

So the TS v TG war is not in point of fact ended but has simply entered a new phase.  It isn’t a war in the strict sense of the word no one is firing missiles or shooting at each other unless you care to describe vitriol as missiles. I described the TS v TG war as a “War of Independence” It was a battle transsexuals won ideologically speaking. This new phase is essentially colonisation and migration in other words “theft” of the condition itself. I believe it will be no less a fight for all that.