tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post6567299890203081737..comments2023-04-26T23:19:46.504-04:00Comments on Notes from the T side: Sometimes you need to poke the animalsElizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-30614405804100866672010-12-02T21:20:17.120-05:002010-12-02T21:20:17.120-05:00@Cassandra,
You might want to duck. I have my per...@Cassandra,<br /><br />You might want to duck. I have my personal profile for Aria but IMHO she is the fraud/fake she complains about.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-47891480391684829532010-12-02T19:41:16.319-05:002010-12-02T19:41:16.319-05:00Elizabeth, if we were ever to be able to talk priv...Elizabeth, if we were ever to be able to talk privately I will share more of my own life with you but I am sure you understand I am reluctant to reveal too much here. For one thing I find it difficult to talk about and for another my life is of marginal relevance to here. A few other personal reasons too.<br /><br />Now where I think Harry Benjamin was a little on the wrong track is in the type IV transsexual.<br /><br />He was very much aware of the “addictive nature” of transvestism. I have a completed essay on the subject myself as yet unpublished. My own opinion is and this is based on my personal experience as a counsellor, that type IV which he categorised as transsexual is in reality the “end game” manifestation of addictive transvestism and as such should not be classified as “transsexual” The rest of it I think he was right on the money allowing leeway for information available to him at the time it was truly amazing he figured out as much as he did. <br /><br />Regards your conflict with Aria and questions regarding her time of transition, surgical status life history etc. It’s an interesting question isn’t it? There seems to be an element of “Methinks she doth protesteth too much” Sometimes it is the outcome of an individual transsexual’s life that will indicate exactly what it was that motivated their transition in the first place. It is then that you can perhaps confidently place people accurately into Harry’s types system. Because while an individual’s character, intellect, social status, ability too tolerate their conflict, physical condition life choices etc etc will vary person to person. The outcomes more often than not run true to the individual’s etiology. <br /><br />CassandraspeaksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-48612599685397192532010-12-02T18:55:19.355-05:002010-12-02T18:55:19.355-05:00Elizabeth, I don’t know if you were ever a visitor...Elizabeth, I don’t know if you were ever a visitor to my blog Cassandraspeaks. If you were then you would know that I have written on these issues a fair bit. You would also know that I counselled for a few years in the field of transsexual issues. Based on my experiences at that time I wrote close to 30 essays most of which are now in the archives of TS Si. I daresay you could easily find them if you were so minded. I closed the blog following a “dust up” with Aria and a few of the others. Not solely due to the “dust up” but also because I could no longer find a reason that could justify continuing. <br /><br />It seems from this current essay that there are some significant parallels in our life stories. Not that I believe in a single narrative or that there is a particular pattern that is always followed. However, my time spent counselling did provide me with some insights and allowed to arrive at opinions that I believe hold true today. “I don’t know what it is but I’ll know it when I see it” Whenever Benjamin’s type VI entered my office I found it quite clear and obvious who and what condition was being presented. I don’t mean what they were wearing or even physical characteristics (although I do think there are often accompanying symptoms and features common to type VI not present in type V) It was something to do with the look in their eyes, desired outcomes self awareness, intangible factors hard to put into words or on paper. <br /><br />It’s hard to talk about this subject without doing as you have done Elizabeth and that is to introduce factors of our own lives that illustrate points we wish to make. Every time we doo that we run the risk of attracting criticism from those who would say “You are claiming your narrative is the only true narrative” We also run the risk of educating individuals who for unknown reasons wish to don the type VI mantle and we both know they are about. Though why anyone would voluntarily seek to endure the mental anguish I did and you apparently did is beyond me. <br /><br />Our thinking on the issue of sexuality is virtually identical. At age 13 I developed an intense crush on a boy at school. I was jealous of anyone who talked with him or befriended him. That is not to say I particularly chased boys, It was just that girls were the friends I liked to hang out with and boys made my heart beat faster. Ironically that fact gained me a reputation as “chasing after girls” The racing pulse for boys I kept to myself. I didn’t seek sex with boys and frankly the whole gay sex thing repulsed me. I wanted their babies, I wanted to be kissed I wanted to be their girlfriend.<br /><br />Part II follows<br /><br />CassandraspeaksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-68661925625782442362010-12-02T13:28:04.039-05:002010-12-02T13:28:04.039-05:00@Anne,
How did that work out for you about me and...@Anne,<br /><br />How did that work out for you about me and HSTS on Aria's blog. Do not lose your seat over there because of me. <br /><br />Aria never ever answers a question or provides valid proof of her accusations. She either provides a link to a loony site like hers or just ignores it.<br /><br />I do appreciate the fact your query did elicit a long response at my expense which has provided me with another post. <br /><br />One has to love how poking certain animals, oops transsexuals, results in them contradicting most of the posts she has currently made available for reading.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-12682266504222228792010-12-02T05:57:55.516-05:002010-12-02T05:57:55.516-05:00Sorry, didn't mean the comment as contradictor...Sorry, didn't mean the comment as contradictory as much as supplementary. I get rather impatient with the frame of adult sexuality as it appertains to the type of gendered bodies attractive to the individual being the only one used to frame behaviour. <br />Wasn't really concerned with the nonsense of m2f transexuals being classified as gay for being attracted to men as much as trying to get a terminology to cover the rather more opaque area of changes which many report as coming about through hormonal rectification.Sophiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08776623935042983118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-51238445615943008682010-12-02T03:05:23.182-05:002010-12-02T03:05:23.182-05:00@Cassandra,
I am a private person and it did take...@Cassandra,<br /><br />I am a private person and it did take a lot for me to put the information up that I did but I am very safe. <br /><br />Mischa the Siberian is my buddy. When his time comes I will get another one. I enjoy our walks although we have both slowed down a lot.<br /><br />My essay causes some of the psychotic animals to come out of hibernation but I am so sick of all this crap about absolutes and paranoia and I have yet to see any of the loons on the fringes provide any proof for their positions. Proof nowadays is not required. <br /><br />Well once I make the move to the coast if you see a 65 year old woman on a surfboard in a wetsuit on the Carolina waves it might be me. I miss the ocean and I am moving to it.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-27647533294566229962010-12-02T02:55:49.785-05:002010-12-02T02:55:49.785-05:00@Anne,
I have had Siberian Huskies since my first...@Anne,<br /><br />I have had Siberian Huskies since my first marriage. They are wonderful with kids and my big boy Mischa is what got me through my second husband's passing. He has his spot on the King sized bed which requires some help getting up now since he is 15 1/2.<br /><br />He is my baby. I talk to him like he is my kid. Vet says I should put him down but he is not in pain just old. when he cannot eat his share of my strip steak is when it will be time I guess. Big scare yesterday but he is home now and laying next to me in the office.<br /><br />Where I go he goes. His three cat buddies were worried over him being missing for a night also.<br /><br />I want to jump all over June but I think she is on the mental edge and I do not want too push here any farther so I will basically grin and bear it for as long as I can.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-27145736313914911522010-12-02T02:06:02.569-05:002010-12-02T02:06:02.569-05:00@Elizabeth, I am so sorry to hear about your compa...@Elizabeth, I am so sorry to hear about your companion. I know too well how that can hurt.<br /><br />There is so much I would like to say about this essay of yours. I will comment I promise. <br /><br />In many ways I wish there was a way we could connect privately but then I think we are both too private for that! Sad. <br /><br />CassandraspeaksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-69720484118983472492010-12-02T01:33:28.965-05:002010-12-02T01:33:28.965-05:00I am very sorry about your very dear friend, Misha...I am very sorry about your very dear friend, Misha. I lost mine the same year the Twin Towers went down and I lost my Dad. 2001, was not a very good year.<br /><br />Too bad about Aria. She seems stuck in the same old angry rant.<br /><br />sad.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02696670919817140802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-12111035919828514742010-12-02T01:21:02.173-05:002010-12-02T01:21:02.173-05:00@Anne,
I don't know what effect the low testo...@Anne,<br /><br />I don't know what effect the low testosterone levels had on the transsexual side of me. It is an interesting question and maybe it is more intersex but at birth I was normal physically.<br /><br />Your comment did bring June out of hibernation or probably more accurately my comment and your comment which gave the queen of lunacy an opportunity to promote her hatred for me.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-71179334425551031142010-12-02T01:01:04.339-05:002010-12-02T01:01:04.339-05:00@June Hingle or Nobody
You should never go off yo...@June Hingle or Nobody<br /><br />You should never go off your psychotropic medication June. You do lose your limited relationship with reality when you forget your medication.<br /><br />I have repeated here many times that I am not an expert on anything unless it is in my engineering and Scientific fields. I misread something and I have apologized to Anne like I should have.<br /><br />I decided that you can no longer delete your posts June so if I get to them they will be a permanent part of the post.<br /><br />I am very sorry that you are so unhappy you feel it necessary to say such horrible things about me but what I have put on this blog is me sweetie and have lived a decent life with the ups and downs all women face during a lifetime. My opinions are mine and I am wrong sometimes and I will ask for forgiveness.<br /><br />I am sorry you are so jealous of that so if it makes you feel better to say horrible things like that be my guest. Maybe you will wake up and get some Psychiatric help but then a shrink cannot solve the real problem.<br /><br />By the way my log shows you spend an awful lot of time over here watching and waiting for posts. I hope it makes you feel better to show yourself off as a hateful homophobic neanderthal.<br /><br />Hey how come you have not shut my blog down?? Just another irrational threat I guess.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-3375170660277795732010-12-02T00:46:16.261-05:002010-12-02T00:46:16.261-05:00I am putting this up just in case Nobody also know...I am putting this up just in case Nobody also know as June Hingle decides to delete it like she has all the other posts.<br /><br />nobody said...<br /><br /> @Anne,<br /><br /> This appears to be someone's very ignorant comment about you:<br /><br /> "I gather from your comment on Aria's blog that you were into girls before you started transitioning which puts you in the Aria camp and means you never felt the intensity and discomfort the majority of Type VI felt."<br /><br /> So she (or "he" for that matter) has the divine ability to know what others have internally gone through. Amazing!<br /><br /> How about this one:<br /><br /> "At least you had an outlet which those that were attracted to boys did not have."<br /><br /> ...And (He) didn't? He had his gay friends. He was able to act out the part of whatever he felt he was by being with another "gay boy", and playing the girly part. Some of us didn't have that "luxury". Some of us fought those feelings inside, as painful as it would get. Some of us were so conscientious of the bodies we were born with that we would push the boys away, even when the "urge" became overwhelming.<br /><br /> These generalizations about people, the bashing, calling names, the acting as if she(or he) knows it all are sure signs of an internal conflict within (his, or her) own being.<br /><br /> Anne, you have never said anything demeaning about Liz (or me), but Liz has no qualms about expressing whatever comes to mind without even the slightest worry that she (or her) might have stepped on someone's heart, or innermost feelings.<br /><br /> Good going Liz, you once again showed face.<br /> December 1, 2010 2:05 PMElizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-21570550275331253882010-12-02T00:27:44.535-05:002010-12-02T00:27:44.535-05:00Anne,
Sorry it came across like it did. My apolog...Anne,<br /><br />Sorry it came across like it did. My apologies also. Just a very rough with my Siberian and I took it out on you which is dead wrong.<br /><br />My problem with Aria is that HSTS is bullshit. I do believe orientation is a catalyst when puberty kicks in even remotely. I was confused by what you said because I thought you said you were into girls and I apologize.<br /><br />I have friends that did exactly what you said and that is part of internalizing the discomfort and fighting it. I was in no way trying to imply one is better than the other.<br /><br />The emotions of the day just got to me a little. My Siberian Mischa has been a good friend for a long time and I am afraid it is his time shortly. I do not handle loss well sometimes.<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />LizElizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-30560392813019089662010-12-01T17:05:04.308-05:002010-12-01T17:05:04.308-05:00@Anne,
This appears to be someone's very igno...@Anne,<br /><br />This appears to be someone's very ignorant comment about you:<br /><br />"I gather from your comment on Aria's blog that you were into girls before you started transitioning which puts you in the Aria camp and means you never felt the intensity and discomfort the majority of Type VI felt." <br /><br />So she (or "he" for that matter) has the divine ability to know what others have internally gone through. Amazing! <br /><br />How about this one:<br /><br />"At least you had an outlet which those that were attracted to boys did not have."<br /><br />...And (He) didn't? He had his gay friends. He was able to act out the part of whatever he felt he was by being with another "gay boy", and playing the girly part. Some of us didn't have that "luxury". Some of us fought those feelings inside, as painful as it would get. Some of us were so conscientious of the bodies we were born with that we would push the boys away, even when the "urge" became overwhelming.<br /><br />These generalizations about people, the bashing, calling names, the acting as if she(or he) knows it all are sure signs of an internal conflict within (his, or her) own being.<br /><br />Anne, you have never said anything demeaning about Liz (or me), but Liz has no qualms about expressing whatever comes to mind without even the slightest worry that she (or her) might have stepped on someone's heart, or innermost feelings.<br /><br />Good going Liz, you once again showed face.Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14451928165045221279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-57878546665714384822010-12-01T17:01:44.485-05:002010-12-01T17:01:44.485-05:00@ Natasha...I am with you on this one.
@ Deena......@ Natasha...I am with you on this one.<br /><br />@ Deena...very interesting perspective and yes, "it would explain a lot of things"<br /><br />@ Elizabeth...couple of things.<br />"I gather from your comment on Aria's blog that you were into girls before you started transitioning which puts you in the Aria camp and means you never felt the intensity and discomfort the majority of Type VI felt"<br /><br />You "gather" incorrectly. Personally, it is my belief that, given that I had determined to "be the 'man', that I was 'supposed' to be", girls were the approprite sexual target. Despite having been presented with incontrovetable PROOF that I was a girl, and would grow up to b a woman, I doubted my Faith and persisted in pursuing the false hope that I could in deed "cure" myself.<br /><br />This was obviously a gross error on my part and most certainly does not "put me in Aria's camp".<br /><br />From what you have expressed to us in your writings, it seems clear that your testosterone levels were below "normal" and that this contributed to your lack of masculinization in puberty. Lucky you. I was not so fortunate.<br /><br />Nevertheless, the fact that I did not "act out" a a child and instead tried desperately to "do the right thing" does in no way reflect he level or levels of my "intensity". <br /><br />As to your "preoccupation with HSTS" that was a mis statement on my part for which I apologize to you and which I will remedy at Aria's forthwith.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02696670919817140802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-3150135599265321512010-12-01T16:06:11.793-05:002010-12-01T16:06:11.793-05:00Every single one of us born transsexual is an indi...<i>Every single one of us born transsexual is an individual. Any attempt to jam us all under one single definition for transsexual is wrong.</i><br /><br />I couldn't agree with you more. Our commonality is a simple one. Beyond that, our journeys are our own. <br /><br />For the life of me, I cannot understand the agendas of those who claim otherwise. It seems a waste of energy better spent doing something productive.<br /><br />xoxo-https://www.blogger.com/profile/12678823555927806259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-52645574459042046602010-12-01T15:41:49.319-05:002010-12-01T15:41:49.319-05:00@Sophie
If the brain is wired female at birth you...@Sophie<br /><br />If the brain is wired female at birth you cannot have it both ways. If we are girls at birth then no amount of testosterone can turn us into girl hungry boys unless we are sexually oriented to girls. Benjamin found the percentages to be identical in sexual orientation.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-8006068920020285512010-12-01T15:36:19.504-05:002010-12-01T15:36:19.504-05:00@Anne
I realize you do not want to lose your new ...@Anne<br /><br />I realize you do not want to lose your new seat at Aria's table but pointing out philosophical differences and errors in both logic and fact is not bashing. Even asking who the hell she is is not bashing. I guess we must take her word she is not just a pre-op man in a dress.<br /><br />I gather from Aria I have made errors on my blog and am not bright which is rather an interesting thought or opinion but I notice not one of her minions except the newly found have commented over here where the only comments they had were personal insults towards me. Please ask them to point out the error of my ways and you can tell her Royal Highness that I will match my cognitive powers and ability to organize and prove or disprove facts with her any day because my mind is not cluttered by paranoid delusions of both grandeur and persecution.<br /><br />Transsexualism is absolutely not based in sexual orientation but when puberty is reached it can play a major part because we are sexual beings. Anyone that denies that is a total fool and is just lying.<br /><br />I gather from your comment on Aria's blog that you were into girls before you started transitioning which puts you in the Aria camp and means you never felt the intensity and discomfort the majority of Type VI felt. At least you had an outlet which those that were attracted to boys did not have.<br /><br />I do not have a preoccupation with HSTS because I believe it is bullshit. I have a preoccupation with assholes like Aria that claim all feminine boys are pre-homosexual and thus not transsexual. I guess you are in that camp but being born transsexual and feminine was nor is a choice.<br /><br />I still do not understand all this hatred towards Benjamin by so many because he was and still is the only one who cared about us without prejudice.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-63719264446886729162010-12-01T14:02:31.825-05:002010-12-01T14:02:31.825-05:00If one were to adopt a more scientific approach, i...If one were to adopt a more scientific approach, it might be worth moving away from the question of whether one is attracted to male or female but to try and use the more biologically based frame of exogenous and endogenous, at least in terms of initial attraction.Sophiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08776623935042983118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-12055221262109313352010-12-01T10:33:48.975-05:002010-12-01T10:33:48.975-05:00I slogged through your lengthy post and Aria's...I slogged through your lengthy post and Aria's as well. All of these discussions amuse me and at times sadden me. I thought perhaps you might be amused by a different perspective so I'll chance it. <br /><br />Psychiatry, psychology and related disciplines approach life from a conceptual framework that confines itself to the study of people based on the premise that nothing exists prior to conception. I do not agree. My perspective is quite simply that we incarnate into flesh in this realm many times. <br /><br />Before you discard that concept please pause and consider that there are many child prodigy's totally unexplained by science such as a 3 year old who sits down at a piano and plays Mozart without any prior training in music. <br /><br />Humor me for a moment and explore the implications of reincarnation and specifically how the very idea impacts everything about what and who each person really is. It means quite simply that although most people do not have any ability to recall previous incarnations we bring all that we have ever experienced before into the current incarnation. Yet the beauty of each incarnation is that we are not slave to our previous lives for if we had total recall of them we would be constrained by those very memories. <br /><br />One thing is obvious. A cycle of many incarnations requires a huge alteration in psychology, psychiatry and related disciplines. I have great respect for Harry Benjamin and I think he would react to what I am offering by saying "well that would certainly explain a lot". Not that he would accept it as true but rather that he would not reject it out of hand.<br /><br />I gave up long ago talking about the topic of reincarnation to most people when it became apparent that the typical response is "she has flipped her lid". I risk it as a response here only because I sense a certain level of open mindedness. Make of it whatever you will.Deenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14347031772197022065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-88223271834992502952010-12-01T03:50:29.405-05:002010-12-01T03:50:29.405-05:00Hi Liz.
Nice post except for all the Aria bashing...Hi Liz.<br /><br />Nice post except for all the Aria bashing. Perhaps if you approached her in a slightly less combative mode, you might find that behind that huge "warrior mentality" you would find some validity in some of her points.<br /><br />In fact it does seem that you so seem to share a fair number of ideas.<br /><br />But I will leave that to you two to work out. You see from my POV you are both just different in how you reacted or dealt with your GD.<br /><br />In my case despite being "slightly built" I over compensated by pretending to the "Psuedo alpha male persona". It worked well, until it failed.<br /><br />Interestingly, I too rememebr telling my Mom that I was a girl just soon as I could speak, and while I did not overtly "act out". I must have been laying down enough clues to be sent to see the proverbial child shrink.<br /><br />In my case that was at UCLA and the guy I saw was Richard Green who did not get very far with me, because like Aria described, I had "clammed up". He told my Mom that I was probably gay, although at that age 7 or 8, I was not even remotely sexual. He said it would either "go away" or 'go gay" as I got older.<br /><br />What a crock! And He was a so called expert/specialist. Like you I was terribly conffused and tormnted at this age and what happened in my case was that I tried to "cure" myself and prayed constantly to be "made right".<br /><br />Thankfully, my male "persona" got me through college which was when I finally arrived at wits end and surrendered to my "Hounds of Heaven" and submitted to the inevitable. <br /><br />Transition for me was intensly spiritual. I had a good job and managed to hide the effects of the HRT until I completed the term of my one year contract and made the neccessary financial arrangements to carry me through the srs and the subsequent recovery period.<br /><br />In my case recovery was a long and painful affair. By the time I was able to return home, I had lost nearly everything in terms of worldly goods. I started over literally from scratch.<br /><br />I was very fortunate to have survived.<br /><br />Hope this helps<br /><br />AnneAnnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02696670919817140802noreply@blogger.com