tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post5616984715726236291..comments2023-04-26T23:19:46.504-04:00Comments on Notes from the T side: How could he do that ?Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-77262583928966008192010-11-19T03:08:26.871-05:002010-11-19T03:08:26.871-05:00yumm yumm to sex with bad boys!yumm yumm to sex with bad boys!Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02696670919817140802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-56501437651700428122010-11-19T03:03:36.393-05:002010-11-19T03:03:36.393-05:00@Cassandra
The sense of danger. The thrill of so...@Cassandra<br /><br />The sense of danger. The thrill of someone perceived on the edge. Most exude alpha male qualities which I like although my guitar player was a total gentleman with me always and quite romantic. <br /><br />Bad boys are fun and willing to enjoy life to its fullest. They take risks to enjoy life and sometimes they are good risks and sometimes they are dumb.<br /><br />The real key thing is I have no real inhibitions during sex and neither do bad boys so it is rarely the same which is thrilling to me.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-1893739495232912492010-11-19T02:29:29.372-05:002010-11-19T02:29:29.372-05:00Why oh why is the best sex always with "bad b...Why oh why is the best sex always with "bad boys"<br /><br />CassandraspeaksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-73492329490511853842010-11-19T02:01:27.275-05:002010-11-19T02:01:27.275-05:00@Anonymous
My guitar player was British and had a...@Anonymous<br /><br />My guitar player was British and had a roving eye so who knows but we were never really in love like you talk about. More like a couple of lonely souls that found company and friendship together in NYC and had what we called occasional passionate moments with each other after my surgery although I gave poor Harry a few fits with him.<br /><br />Like I said I did like bad boys and he was a really bad boy at times.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-68647943243973346242010-11-19T00:26:07.122-05:002010-11-19T00:26:07.122-05:00The most interesting and significant part of the t...The most interesting and significant part of the things being talked about here is that the narrative is essentially one that a great many women face and is not a part of scenarios only women with our medical past would face. It's quite refreshing.<br /><br />That said The emotional damage done to you Elizabeth must have been tough to get through. I've been through some real crap but nothing like what you've shared here. How's this for irony, the biggest love of my life was a guitar player from a well known rock band. Though I doubt very much whether it was the musician you've talked about. We parted as friends and have remained friends to this day.<br /><br />There is no way I could tolerate cross dressing in my partner so I know very much what you were probably feeling. I don't believe I would have done anything different to you. I can't understand why anyone would believe that we would have any special insight or tolerance towards transvestism. However it does seem that for reasons best known to transvestites they believe we are the same as them just more extreme versions. Well, WE ARE NOT.<br /><br />cassandraspeaksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-65005173723397794432010-11-18T23:05:35.279-05:002010-11-18T23:05:35.279-05:00Interesting post, Liz. I have tnought about what ...Interesting post, Liz. I have tnought about what it would be like if my husband, whom I love dearly and beyond descrisption, came to me with such a disclosure.<br />I gotta tell you. That would be a serious "toughie".<br /><br />As I may have mentioned somwhere, I am happily into my 4th marriage. I left my first husband over his unrelenting and hopelessly destructive use of drugs. Leaving him was not that hard. It cost me a lot of money, but was cheap at twice the cost.<br /><br />My second husband was an alchoholic. I came to terms with that a couple years into the marriage and yet spent years in denial, maintaining the vain hope that he would get his drinking undr control. He never abused me and I loved him dearly. I even became a sympathetic drunk in my efforts to cope.<br /><br />It took great effort to leave that man and it came down to the fundamental issue of self preservation.<br /><br />However, probably one of the most difficult and painful decisions in my life was when I was relatively young. I had met this divorced man with two young sons, 3 a 7. The older one was quite mature for his age and accepted me as "mom" with the understanding that I might or might 'stick around'.<br /><br />The younger boy was just a baby and desperately the love and tenderness only a mom could provide. We bonded from day one.<br /><br />The only problem was that while a dearly loved those two boys...they were the fulfillment of a forever barren young woman's dream, I did not love their father. I never would. He was just not for me.<br /><br />Oh, I could have 'tolerated' him and maybe even 'grown used to him' for the sake of the boys, but he could never provide for me what I needed as a woman.<br /><br />It was a terrible choice, but I left the day after the younger boy uttered the word 'mommie'. My only consolation was my certain knowledge that it only would have been worse had I waited.<br /><br />That one, was definately an "ouch"Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02696670919817140802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-9227578600643663922010-11-18T16:34:43.681-05:002010-11-18T16:34:43.681-05:00I came out of it OK but it took a while. I did hav...I came out of it OK but it took a while. I did have family in California I was close to. My older brother Ray had been living in Fountain Valley for quite a while so he was close by and my Uncle Don and I had become close. He was married to my mom's sister and is just a wonderful man.<br /><br />I actually took Denise and went back to NYC for over a month after it happened and then spent some time back home in Massachusetts. I stayed with Oscar because I needed to be as far from him as I could get. <br /><br />When I returned to California I had to be cool with him for Denise's sake because she did not need to see her parents screaming and yelling at each other and we never did. She came first.<br /><br />I think subliminally I felt maybe I wasn't as much of a girl as I thought I was. It was weird actually the thought process because I was just myself but self-confidence was never that high at times on my side of the aisle. People can tell you that you look great but I would point out every self-perceived flaw even before this happened.<br /><br />He had told me everything I "wanted" to hear from a man and it kind of freaked me out. I went through a phase in my life where my brother Ray said I dated every willing sexy dirt-bag I could find in Orange and LA County. I got into surfing and started skiing again and I took risks I never should have. I thought I was a better surfer than I was and got splattered a couple of times on big waves and I still shudder thinking how crazy I was on skis at times at Big Bear or worse yet the trees in Tahoe at Kirkland. <br /><br />I love music so like NYC I got into the LA music scene because it was heavier and I always liked that but I despised Glam Rock for obvious reasons. Just what I needed was some dude wearing makeup. <br /><br />The weird thing is I was more willing to blame myself initially for not seeing it and the only person I ever told was Ray because he was always my protector.<br /><br />Surviving shit is what we do because we are survivors in so many ways. The odds are stacked against us the second we enter this world from our mother's womb.<br /><br />I calmed down eventually when I realized it was not my fault. I was never a drinker or drug user so I was safe from that but in a moment of pure irony it was a guitar playing friend that straightened my ass out as he said in the summer of 1978. <br /><br />Ray asked him to talk with me after a concert and he told him what really happened because he knew we really liked and cared for each other and he simply asked me if I was trying to kill myself and make Denise a one parent child? That was a sobering thought coming from him since I was always worried he would drink or drug himself into oblivion.<br /><br />Another reason I put this out there is someone posted something about bragging about my life and I do want people to understand going through this when some of us went through this in the 50's through the 70's was not some fairy tale and all that happened was we had a chance to live as girls and it was both painful and wonderful just like it is for all girls. <br /><br />Life is never as good as it seems or as bad as it appears. As Ray would say based on his still silly obsession with the Three Stooges "I was just a victim of circumstance" and did the best I could with what I was dealt. <br /><br />Getting to the point where we led productive lives was often painful and some of those memories are difficult to deal with so we gloss over them like my 1963 summer in hell which I will post something on and all the horrible things done to me and several friends as both kids and young adults. <br /><br />I came out of this stronger only because I had a brother and a friend that cared about me but this journey many of you are taking is filled with people all to willing to hurt you and all you can do really is be careful and stay the course as my dad would have told me if alive.<br /><br />Live your life the best you can.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17931270965200576249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-82332977733043361412010-11-18T14:28:32.987-05:002010-11-18T14:28:32.987-05:00OMG Liz I am so proud of you for putting this stor...OMG Liz I am so proud of you for putting this story out there. When you told me about it a few months ago it blew me away. It blows me away that here you are knowing (in a sense) what it feels like not just to be TS but to know what a wife feels like when a husband says to her that he believes he is as well. I admire you so much for your strength.<br /><br />xoxoxoxox<br />The other LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-56927806400610641662010-11-18T10:31:12.677-05:002010-11-18T10:31:12.677-05:00That is an amazing story. As Caroline wrote, you c...That is an amazing story. As Caroline wrote, you couldn't make this stuff up.<br /><br />I'm so sorry to hear what you went through. I know it's a long time ago, and hopefully life has been much better for you since. And you have a wonderful daughter and grandchildren! But it's sad that you avoid visiting them.<br /><br />It's weird. Some people think we would be more sympathetic with a spouse with these kinds of issues. It seems hypocritical not to be. But I don't think I could live through what I put my partner through. That's one thing that makes her all the more amazing to me.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing such a difficult chapter in your life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-58336458950764743482010-11-18T09:19:35.048-05:002010-11-18T09:19:35.048-05:00I realized that I was given a most precious gift, ...I realized that I was given a most precious gift, in that I truly loved her. It is nothing to be ashamed of, whether the love is for a man, woman, child, cat, dog, or anything you feel in your heart worth loving. I was able to forget the fights, the harsh words, whatever she may or may not have thought in her own mind. We parted friends, and with the realization that the past was only a steppingstone, and that all that we have learned along the way can benefit us, if we're able to respect the fact that we all different. <br /> <br />Why did I marry a woman in the first place? Actually I did that twice. The second time, as it turned out, I found my best friend. Married, divorced, but never parted as true friends go. We had a son together, and now we have a grandchild. I am now considered by them as being a grandmother. It's not game anymore. This is real life, and regardless of where we came from, it is always possible to make the best of things, even when it's so difficult just grinning and bearing those inevitable awkward moments. <br /><br />If in your heart you know that you did the best you could, then there is no shame, hate, or hurt you need to carry with you. If you feel that you were wronged, there is always a bright side, and all that is needed is to open your heart to all the infinite possibilites that love can bring. <br /><br />If something stills hurts inside, try hard to push those feelings aside, and in your heart of hearts, wish that other person that hurt you, happiness, and a good life of his own. It could help you to forget, and to forgive.<br /><br /><br />huggz,<br /><br />jhJunehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14451928165045221279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-37963825398035330292010-11-18T06:40:31.608-05:002010-11-18T06:40:31.608-05:00I am sorry to read this, particularly from where I...I am sorry to read this, particularly from where I sit, wedding ring on finger and with a brain from the girl parts bin. <br /><br />It's a slightly old-fashioned term, and one I don't know whether or not has the same meaning in the USA as it does here, <i>Gentleman</i>. I'm sorry you met one of us who mastered being a bloke, but didn't master being a gentleman.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08027942517258679266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944795231126319421.post-81942600630109329332010-11-18T04:50:41.607-05:002010-11-18T04:50:41.607-05:00If humans have mastered anything in this world it ...If humans have mastered anything in this world it is the ability to harm each other.<br /><br />The real killer line has to be:- "I know he will be there with his second wife and ...", you could not make this stuff up!<br /><br />Caroline xxxCarolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133031265351841626noreply@blogger.com